Everth Cabrera stole two more bases late last night while you were sleeping, bringing his season total to a league-leading 21 stolen bags for the year.
I took Everth Cabrera late as can be in my fantasy draft because I think he’s got 80 stolen base speed. There aren’t that many guys in the big leagues who I consider to be in his category. He stole 44 last year in 115 games. He was only getting on base at a .324 clip back then, though.
Someone has fed this gremlin after midnight, and he’s going batshit nuts right now. He could be near last season’s total by the All-Star break if this keeps up. The new and improved Everth is getting on base at a .355 clip currently and has drawn 27 walks. He’s hitting .270 to go along with that.
Look at that sneaky little fuck! You can’t trust him to guard the henhouse because he’ll steal eggs from you! I can’t even imagine how many stolen base titles this little monster is going to win people in fantasy baseball.
From now on in these parts, he is known as ‘Swindler Cabrera’. Swindler Cabrera.