My Goodness we’ve been busy – the last three weeks of Gentleman’s Cup Series Games updates follow the click through.
I need everyone to bear with me – the Ombudsman of the Gentleman’s game. This is where this contest could really use an intern.
My wife just had our second kid, as I’ve already mentioned on the blog. So unfortunately the second most important things in life like updating the Gentleman’s game; well you fall a bit behind.
Freshly-discharged from the hospital, this post is ready to go. We have to update scoring from TWO Friday’s ago where our own t3bird04 (who has a bushel of kids himself) took down the Gents game and moved a bit closer to DStars45, reigning champ.
DStars45 – 76 points
t3bird04 – 71 points
Jsquad34 – 61 points
Diamondhoggers – 57 points
Swindaman3 – 48 points
Here’s a copy of his lineup where Evan Gattis and Jose Altuve ruled the earth, along with Joey Votto and Manny Machado providing solid scoring:
Click through the jump to read about last night’s contest.
We want to apologize to our good friend Swindaman3. He had a Helluva week in the Gentleman’s Game Cup Series last week, blowing away the competition. It’s become a part of the Gents Game tradition that if Jsquad or Swindy win, this post goes up as late as possible. Since we’re in the middle of another thrilling Friday night contest, it’s that time of the week. This post must go up. Through jobs, and moves, and the changes of life, and child birth; the show of the Gents Game and this post must always go on.
It’s been a tough year for Swindaman3, but the thing we love about him is he has never once given up. Each week he shows up and sits atop his porcelain toilet throne and puts out the best toilet lineup he can. He’s really doing quite well for a guy who builds his lineups on the shitter.
The Gentleman’s Game MVP was our personal favorite, Homer Bailey! Bailey struck out eleven Milwaukee Brewers; on his way to 37. 1 points. This keyed the Toilet Master to victory this week as he was the only owner to trust Bailey last Friday evening.
Here’s a look at the yearly standings. Some things never change; like who is in first, who is in second, and JSquad34 and Diamondhoggers simply flip-flop every week.
DStars45 – 73 points
t3bird04 – 66 points
Jsquad34 – 57 points
Diamondhoggers – 55 points
Swindaman3 – 47 points
Last week, our friend swindaman3 turned 30 atop his glorious porcelain throne. When the night was getting late, he held a slim lead over the rest of the Gents and it looked as if a miracle would be possible.
But then the champ, Diamondhoggers, and his buddy JSquad34 swallowed him up. His best buddy JSquad34 by less than a point!
Most notable was the distance put between the top two contestants in the Gents game yearly standings, evidenced below:
DStars45 – 70 points
t3bird04 – 65 points
Diamondhoggers – 53 points
Jsquad34 – 53 points
Swindaman3 – 42 points
And now, a look at the winning lineup from DStars45:
With a little less than two months of Friday’s to go, the Gentleman’s Game is tight. We once again have a race.
Our own t3bird04 ruined my bid to get first or last every week; rendering me to second place by posting a very healthy winning score of 149.95. He ran out Rick Porcello and Jose Quintana who both eclipsed the magic number of 25+; and then received 33 poitns from Roughned Odor, 22 from Manny Machado, and another 25 from Xander Bogaerts this past Friday evening.
As we look at the yearly standings, some things stand out. There’s a dogfight still going on for third place, but who cares about that. The real show is for first and second, where The Family Man of DFS has closed things to within a single point of defending champ, DStars45. It is becoming more likely that just like last season; this could come down to our final week.
As always, a look at where things stand.
DStars45 – 65 points
t3bird04 – 64 points
Jsquad34 – 50 points
Diamondhoggers – 49 points
Swindaman3 – 40 points
And a copy of the winning blueprint from our own t3bird04:
Tomorrow brings a new opportunity for us insignificant Gents to have a say in things and make a difference in this cruel Draftstreet world the only way we know how; by not letting DStars or The Family Man win. And we can bring our whores to the cocktail party! Style points! Last week I dressed up A.J. Griffin all perty-like, putting lipstick on that Ranger pig and bringing her out late in the night after the fun had began.
What whores will roll out this week? You must tune in to this famous column to find out the continuing saga of the greatest DFS show on earth. The Gentleman’s Game.
Jsquad34’s first win of the year must be celebrated. It’s just been the week from Hell and I’m just now getting over a case of strep I got from my daughter which carried my fever to 103+. That said, I correctly predicted a few things about this past week’s gentleman’s game. Myself last (or first), and DStars45 in the one or two spot. But I didn’t correctly predict the JSquad win!
Your Gentleman’s game MVP is Lance McCullers. Goldy Bear is the turd of the week. Yearly Standings and winning lineup below.
DStars45 – 62 points
t3bird04 – 59 points
Jsquad34 – 48 points
Diamondhoggers – 45 points
Swindaman3 – 39 points
And a much lengthier write-up coming next week!
There was no milk or Diet Mountain Dew showering. There was no pretty ladies or white horses. No one here left with the grand prize in DFS.
In Gents Live I: The Final Frontier, t3bird04 took home first place from his nest/safe haven. He was in first by 8:00 and in bed by 9:00 PM. No other gents could have a say.
It was a low scoring night in Gents, seeing just two reach over the 100-point plateau. It’s worth noting that four gents used Madison Bumgarner against the Padres at Petco which looked like a safe play at 1100 dollars. Of course, any time anything that appears to make sense to the majority appears; you can count on that turning into a burning bag of shit. Madison is the gents game turd because he didn’t top 20 points.
A good time was had by all gents (I think) and we stayed up until the wee hours of the night to watch our hopes be dashed by the likes of stacks fallen short, James Paxton, and Marcus Stroman in our other contest entries.
The yearly standings tightened up a bit with the Family Man of DFS taking home the five point platinum performance, and there’s yet another repositioning of our 3rd and 4th place contestants. Which is basically like; saying you’re one of the best chefs at Wendy’s or Subway. Swindaman remains in the toilet and hopes to climb out by the time he turns 30 on August the 6th.
DStars45 – 58 points
t3bird04 – 56 points
Diamondhoggers – 44 points
Jsquad34 – 43 points
Swindaman3 – 37 points
Here’s a copy of our winning lineup this week, sponsored by Jiffy Lube and Destination Donuts.
So what will happen in the Gentleman’s Game this Friday? We will all be safely nestled in the comforts of our own homes, so you can expect higher scores. I predict the median/mean/whatever score will 95.5 but I am only 64% sure of this. I do predict that we bring whores to the gents game, because it has become a badge of honor. It has become etiquette to do as such. I predict that Swindaman3 will take a monstrous dump while he fills out his Gents lineup. I predict that JSquad34 will say his lineup is a loser no later than 3:00 PM. I predict DStars45 comes in one of the top two spots. I predict I either get first or last. I predict t3bird will help his wife make dinner, push his kids on the swings, and still have a very respectable showing despite devoting his time to more meaningful activities.
But these predictions could all go by the wayside. They are just one man’s thoughts on the battlefield of greatness. This greatness is the Gentleman’s game. Only the strong survive. Stay tuned for the announcement of ‘Gents Live II: The Redemption’. We will decide on a venue and a date and go from there.
We were joined by a special guest of sorts this week, TStarkey; a friend of mine and renegade DFS player whom I used to work with. He had a nice debut showing in the Gentleman’s Game coming in second with 118+ points. He went with a Blue Jays stack. With any luck, he may be invited back to be a part of this Gentleman’s gathering.
DStars45 was back in the saddle and back from vacation, and he took us to the whipping post. He paired Jose Fernandez with Jonathan Gray along with four hitters in double digits; Jose Abreu (14), Roughned Odor (20), Evan Longoria (25), and Tim Anderson (10), to paddle to safety with 144+ points. We’ll call Longoria – who homered and had four hits – the Gentleman’s Game MVP for the week.
Tomorrow is the First Annual ‘Gentleman’s Game Live Final’ where we still play for our usual prize pool but the Gentleman Gather in person to do battle, spit seeds, and drink Mountain Dew.
This week saw little change in our yearly standings in terms of jockeying for position; but rather just a furthering of distance by the top two competitors and the bottom half of our Gents hourglass filling further.
DStars45 – 56 points
t3bird04 – 51 points
Jsquad34 – 40 points
Diamondhoggers – 40 points
Swindaman3 – 36 points
Here’s a look at the winning lineup, courtest of DStars45:
So what will happen this week? Will Diamondhoggers order enough clouds at the live final to keep JSquad34 happy? Will his meat be grilled to perfection? Will he make sure that he has the comfiest seat? Will the volume be turned to a level of his liking? Will Swindaman3 christen my new home by pooping in one of my new toilets? Will DStars45 have Diet Mountain Dew poured all over him after midnight to celebrate the first Gentleman’s Game live final win? Will I lose my entire bankroll? I really might. Will The Family Man of DFS (t3bird04) be in bed by 9:00? Will Draftkings ever send me my player usage?
YOU MUST STAY TUNED TO THE GENTLEMANS GAME (sponsored by Trader Joe’s, and Weber Grill) to find out!
I apologize for the delay in this post. With the Fourth of July holiday thrown in there, and seeing Guns N’ Roses in concert live last night, I just didn’t have my usual spare time. Plus, our winner this week automatically meant I had to wait as long as possible to get this post up. Since tomorrow is a new Gentleman’s Friday; a new lease on life, my back is to the wall and the show must ride onward with your weekly update.
While the cat was away, the mice played. With our fearless leader DStars45 out in California on holiday, Swindaman3 saw a golden opportunity to once again be a star performer. If you’ll remember, the Poopmaster himself and DStars45 took things down to the wire in last year’s inaugural Gentleman’s game cup series.
Swindy made the most of his toilet time, selecting Victor Martinez (Gents Game MVP for the week) for 36 points and also Carlos Gomez for 16 more. It was an ugly, low scoring battle for all gents involved, with only Swindaman putting up over 100 points. Three gents failed to get to 90.
Here’s a look at the yearly standings, with JSquad jumping ahead of Diamondhoggers once again and our own t3bird pulling a little closer to DStars45. Swindaman remains in last place but gets closer to the middle of the pack with the five point silver star award.
DStars45 – 51 points
t3bird04 – 47 points
Jsquad34 – 39 points
Diamondhoggers – 37 points
Swindaman3 – 34 points
We are skipping the weekly shitty players of the year/week. It will be a double whipping post next week because of this. I have a bone to pick with fantasy baseball in general, so be ready for a double shot of negativity in this section next week. I may just rant about the things in fantasy that have gone wrong this year if it inclines me to feel better at the moment. I haven’t decided yet, but it will be a segment you will not want to miss.
Next week also brings about the first “Gentleman’s Game Live Final”. This will be an elegant event. Four gentleman will be gathered for fellowship, and competition. Actually I haven’t told them yet but when they walk through the front door of my home, the door will be padlocked from the outside with a remote code. Only I will know the remote code. On that night, the first night after the All-Star Break, the competitors you know and love from the Gentleman’s game will be competing for their lives. The only code to escape, will be locked in who uses the correct combination of Didi Gregorius’s or Ryan Rua’s. It will go something like this.
Of course, I kid. I love those damn Saw movies. But there should be some fun stories. We are calling Tommy LaSorda if the Dodgers win. There will be a glorious contest and some stories to be told. We will donate some of our paychecks to Draftkings. Recap of everything to come.
As always, here’s a copy of the winning recipe from Swindaman3 last Friday:
Stay tuned for the next chapter in the saga of the Gentleman’s Game Cup Series, 2016. Which is sponsored by Columbus Online Auctions and AT&T.
We mentioned last week that it seemed like Diamondhoggers (us) finished first or last in every Gentleman’s game lately. Since last week was a poor 5th place finish in the contest, this week was due to be a jackpot.
That was only half true, starting on April 25th though, this is what Diamondhoggers’ result has been: Fifth, First, Fifth, Fifth, Fifth, First, Fourth, First, Fifth, and now First. That’s almost remarkable. It’s so weird. I could not finish second or third if my life depended on it.
Friday was a strange night in baseball. Of course we had the Coors slate in play which always serves to fuck things up a fair amount and lose all the money for everyone. It started slow but business picked up there as it always does and rewarded the buttplugs who just stacked that game.
I want to give strong mention to Phil Gosselin for being the worst ever. He was ‘the perfect punt’, hitting clean up at Coors. Three gentleman including me took this bait hook, line and sinker. Of course, in a game where 19 runs were put on the board, Phil Gosselin found a way to zero out. He qualifies as one of the biggest turds in Gentleman’s game history, without a doubt.
No real shakeup in the yearly standings, with things staying close to the same as they have been as we head towards the All Star Break.
DStars45 – 50 points
t3bird04 – 44 points
Diamondhoggers – 36 points
Jsquad34 – 35 points
Swindaman3 – 29 points
Here is a copy of the winning lineup from Diamondhoggers. The Gents Game MVP was a luckbox play of Shin-soo Choo, who homered off David Price and scored 19 points. Masahiro Tanaka managed not to get blown up on a night when basically no one was safe.
We’re skipping the fantasy players we would like to seize with a guillotine chokehold this week because we’re just too busy to make the post longer. That means double duty for next week’s column.
Please continue to follow the Gentleman’s Game Cup Series this summer presented by Julie’s Movers and Java Central Coffee Shop of Westerville.
Up until a few weeks ago, the Gentleman’s Game Hall of Fame was empty. Then Corey Seager homered three times and scored 42 points, and became the first honorary inductee.
It’s a weird thing, because we just can’t allow Franklin Gutierrez into our Hall. It doesn’t feel right. He scored 43 points and was a huge reason t3bird04 pulled past DStars45 later on in the night last Friday.
But Michael Saunders scored 52 friggin’ points! He homered three times and drove in eight. Of course, I was on the receiving end of it in my lone head to head league, too. And any league I have a shot in of course the guy I’m jockeying for position with also had Michael Saunders! Saunders will show up in my nightmares forever, driving in eight with that ‘3 3 8’ line in the box score. Only one gent had the medium-priced Saunders and that was the defending champ DStars45. Saunders owes him because if he was not in play in this Gentleman’s game, no Hall of Fame for Saunders of course.
Here are the weekly standings, with t3bird and Gutierrez pulling down five points. DStars45 is starting to stretch out a nice lead; and if JSquad34 doesn’t stop leap frogging me and then going underneath me! I am tired of needing to adjust these damn standings. Then again, maybe I should stop either finishing first or last every week.
DStars45 – 47 points
t3bird04 – 40 points
Jsquad34 – 33 points
Diamondhoggers – 31 points
Swindaman3 – 28 points
It’s now time for the Fantasy Players to Bludgeon. First we’ll do the weekly winners, followed by our yearly turdballs.
- Maikel Franco (this son of a bitch NEVER does anything in DFS for me, he’s dead to me.)
- Nelson Cruz (why wouldn’t maximum-priced Cruz do nothing against Eduardo Rodriguez while his tag team partner Gutierrez goes off for 43)
- Nick Hundley
- Jean Segura
- Tommy Joseph
- Jon Gray
- Lance McCullers (I dare you to just have a dominant outing)
- Evan Gattis
- Ian Desmond
- Mike Trout (so useless on Friday’s please look it up beginning 2015 he never does anything on a Friday evening).
- Michael Conforto
- Shin-soo Choo
- Neil Walker
- Nolan Arenado
- Matt Harvey
And now, for the yearly guys who are sucking up the joint:
- Byung Ho Park (the one day I miss getting this dreadful lurch into my lineup because I am like; being a dad, he homers. Otherwise he’s not getting a hit. I hate you Park! You hear me?)
- Chris Davis (please do adderall again or something! SPEED it up!)
- Yan Gomes
- Yasmany Grandal
- Russell Martin
- All catchers really
- Bryce Harper
- Giancarlo Stanton (slowly climbing out of it)
- Justin Upton (slooooowly climbing out of it)
- Trevor Rosenthal
- Michael Brantley
- JAMES SHIELDS
- Joey Votto
I know I’m missing some folks but close enough for the girls I go with.
Now here’s a copy of the winning lineup that t3bird04 strung together. Added bonus points for fielding this lineup from his brother’s wedding, and congrats to t3bird brother on embarking on the great journey of marriage. Hopefully you bring your wife each Friday night like your brother, a true gentleman and family man of DFS should you ever venture into a Gentleman’s Game Cocktail party.
SO…. what’s going to happen next week in the Gentleman’s Game presented by The Mean Bean of Powell Coffee Shop and Gold Bond Powder?
We are quickly approaching the ‘Gentleman’s Game Live Final’ where it is possible all five gents are gathered in one family room to lose all their money in shocking fashion. Our night will be over by 7:20 PM and we will be left to make smores and watching JSquad34 drink his scotch and Swindaman3 make out with a cigar. We might get the beer bong out and see if we can down eight liters of Mountain Dew. We may have some special videos for you or some toilet picks prior to the festivities. The point is, if you’re a big fan of the Gentleman’s Game, you’ve got some big moments coming your way as the drama continues to build into a magnificent crescendo.
It’s not all doom and gloom in the world of DFS! Draftkings and FanDuel will soon merge to become a global superpower and be in cahoots with all the shady politicians in the world. You will be robbed of your referrals and they will roll out fancy incentives that are designed to stick it to the little guy. That said, I am going to come in around 2,000 of 115,000 tonight in a contest! This astonishing event which is as good as a small ant like me could ever do will yield me $10! With the winnings I will buy some Hostess cupcakes and a tin of chew, or maybe some new shoelaces. Definitely shoelaces.
Stay tuned for the next twists and turns in the saga of the Gentleman’s Game. It is like Days of our Lives playing out in DFS form each week, where one gentleman’s life will change forever at season’s end.
Diamondhoggers slipped by the defending champ DStars45 this past Friday night with the help of Clayton Kershaw. DStars45 held a late lead but Kershaw’s win over the San Francisco Giants pulled Diamondhoggers ahead late in the night for good.
The Gentleman’s Game MVP – we can’t just go with Kershaw – has to be Adonis Garcia. Everyone seemed to tout the match-up of Jason Hammel against those rotten Braves however the Braves bats were discounted too heavily; it isn’t like Hammel is a true #1 and Adonis was a semi punt play. He answered the bell with a homer, three knocks and 22 overall points. Coors Field Jon Jay was somewhat useful.
Three of the five gents gathered at Swindaman3’s household. He was nice enough to get off the toilet long enough to deal up some cards and let patrons sample whiskey and scotch at his place.
This date will also live in DFS infamy; as a pricing error on Fanduel made Kike Hernandez $220 dollars, which is where he should be priced more often. It’s almost as if Dave Roberts knew this and threw him in the lineup for funsies against Johnny Cueto where he would go 0’fer.
Extremely humbling to know so many people are excited that I’m starting tonight’s game! This is all new to me! #blessed #220 lol
— Enrique Hernández (@kikehndez) June 10, 2016
Kike took it all in stride, even though he clearly didn’t know what the Hell was going on. Kike talk ruled the day on Sirius Fantasy channel. It was great.
Here’s a look at the yearly updated standings, with DStars45 still taking down four points. The other gents are going to have to help out to get us all back in this race:
DStars45 – 43 points
t3bird04 – 35 points
Diamondhoggers – 30 points
Jsquad34 – 30 points
Swindaman3 – 26 points
Time for Fantasy Players to maim with a blunt object (seasonal first):
- Justin Upton
- Giancarlo Stanton
- Bryce Harper
- Adrian Gonzalez
- Curtis Granderson
- Ken Giles
- Carlos Gomez
- Yasmany Grandal
- Every catcher in baseball except like, two or three guys
- Brian Dozier
- Minnesota Twins in General
- Brad Miller
- Jason Heyward
- Lance McCullers
Now for the weekly list:
- Justin Upton (when will I friggin’ learn)
- Mark Trumbo
- Manny Machado (same old shit)
- Yangoervis Solarte (a walk only at Coors)
- Carlos Ruiz
- Jason Heyward (Need to add him to the list up top, added)
- Matt Wieters
- Nick Castellanos
- Adam Jones
- Gerrit Cole (he can probably go on the list up top)
- Cameron Maybin
- Brett Wallace
- Miguel Montero
- Jason Hammel
- Lance McCullers (he’s so damn inconsistent)
- Mike Trout (never does ANYTHING on Friday)
- Roughned Odor
- Miguel Cabrera
- Brian McCann (all-time worst POS in DFS)
Here is a copy of the winning lineup from Friday night:
We’re not yet halfway home in this contest of greats, so continue to tune in and see who will make their way towards the 2016 Gentleman’s Game Cup Championship. There is a live ‘final’ coming your way in July that will be full of shenanigans. Or a few of us just sitting around drinking Orange soda. But whatever.
On Friday evening; it was a very magical and mystical evening of baseball for Corey Seager. We have already talked a bit about it. I had this feeling on my drive home from work, but removed Seager from my gentleman’s game lineup in favor of perpetual turd of wonder, Brad Miller at shortstop. I did however; have Seager in my other four lineups I played.
But one Gent would use the Wunderkind and make it possible for our first Gentleman’s Game Hall of Fame performance. I guess this is kind of like the “Heisman House” commercials you used to see on television during college football season. Right now at the Gents Hall of Fame, it’s just Kid Seager hanging out all by his lonesome waiting for someone else to join him.
I fell asleep after home run number two. Vin Scully is better than Ambien you know? But when I fell asleep, DStars45 was trailling t3bird04 by a pretty decent amount with Drew Pomeranz and Corey Seager in play.
I woke up to the following text from our own t3bird04 on Saturday morning, and I realized what had happened:
No way that Corey makes up 70 pts with two guys to go…. unbelievable…
Of course, the bird sent that text because it did happen. His worst nightmare realized. When you cross the 150 mark in a Gentleman’s game, you should win every time. But it was not meant to be for our winged-friend, though he did finish second and pick up four points.
And with that, Corey Seager was entered into the Gentleman’s Game Hall of Fame with the most incredible Friday night performance we’ve had in this great competition of excellence.
There’s quite a rivalry building behind the scenes in the Gentleman’s Game Cup sponsored by Turkey Hill gas stations and Dodge vehicles.
An inside report indicates that our two leading gentleman have not spoken since April, like an old Jordan/Bird rivalry.
Jsquad34 also did a great job in scoring over 148 points, good for just third.
Here’s a look at the yearly standings updated:
DStars45 – 39 points
t3bird04 – 33 points
Jsquad34 – 27 points
Swindaman3 – 25 points
Diamondhoggers – 25 points
And as always a copy of the winning lineup of DStars45:
Now for our updated list of ‘Fantasy Players to Kill’. The first group listed are the yearly guys:
- Justin Upton
- Carlos Gomez (homered today, but off the DL so he’s back
Matt Harvey(escapes for now)
- Chris Davis
- Yasiel Puig
- Luke Gregerson
- Kevin Jepsen (worst closer in history, will never lose his job though)
- Adrian Gonzalez
- Kolten Wong
- Bryce Harper (he’s been Joc Pederson for a month now)
- Joey Votto
- Justin Bour
- Giancarlo Stanton
- Dallas Keuchel
- Yasmany Grandal (sits every other game and hits .181ish when he does play)
- Byung Ho Park (This guy SUUUUUUUUUCKS)
- Julio Urias (sorry man… you’re here for now)
And now for the weekly assholes:
- Lonnie Chisenhall (has no business being in a Gents game at all)
- Justin Upton
- Bryce Harper
- Brad Miller
- Yangorvis Solarte (I’ll spell his name right when he scores 10+ on a Friday for someone)
- Justin Turner
- Curtis Granderson
- Whit Merrifield
- Yasmany Grandal
- Vincent Velasquez (will he ever go five innings in a start AGAIN?)
- Byung Ho Park
- Mike Conforto
- Manny Machado (he truly only homers or has a big game when I neglect him on DFS).
So, we’re at that part in the column when I ask you what will happen next week. And I tell you that you must stay tuned as hard as it may be; to find out.
After this past Friday, I cannot even suggest the remarkable events that may occur in our next Gentleman’s game. Let it be remembered forever that on that magical night of June the 3rd, 2016; in the Gentleman’s Game and Gentleman’s Game only, that the impossible happened.
I tried something new in the Gentleman’s game this week; choosing to give Coors Field the old ‘F-U’ other than using perennial 5000+ disappointment Buster Posey. I also decided instead of looking at the pricing and player lists on Thursday night when our Gentleman’s Game Ombudsman DStars45 sends out the invite, I was going to do things the old fashioned way and look at and set my lineup just an hour or two before the contest so I stop second guessing anything. Let’s face it, nothing else was working.
And this week, Cactus Jack returned to bring out his trusty trashcan full of junk in this hardcore DFS streetfight.