Category Archives: Fantasy Baseball

Our own t3bird makes a swift move towards the top in the Gentleman’s Game

Screen Shot 2016-05-23 at 9.57.48 PM

Our own t3bird04 is coming up in the world like a regular Tony Montana. In fact, we have some select footage of the Bird Man a few innings into Friday night’s contest on hand:

Bird was powered by the help of four stars on Friday evening. Aaron Nola, Aaron Sanchez, Chris Hermann, and Miguel Cabrera for some 96+ of Bird’s 118 total points; and three of those four were used by only him. That’s the kind of disparity you’re looking for, and it was good enough to get him into the winner’s circle with five points, firmly entrenched in the number two spot as two gents continue to separate themselves from the group.

The two losing gents; Jsquad34 and myself, had the same bad spot. We brought Amish whore Sonny Gray to the Gentleman’s Friday evening Gala with the thought of enjoying a few cocktails and wistfully looking at artwork; doing nice gentleman things with her. However Sonny; a true turd that no longer deserves to be rostered in any daily, weekly, yearly, or quantum-leap format in fantasy got tuned up by the Yankees in that outhouse of a stadium known as the Oakland Coliseum.

Swindaman3 had a really nice toilet play with Colby Lewis, who frustrated the hapless Houston Astros all evening long and collected him 29.35 points, and some props for using Colby Lewis in the first place. No one looked in that direction.

DStars45 rode the work of Derek Dietrich and Michael Conforto to a solid third place finish, helping keep some distance in between himself and cocaine-mountain flying t3bird.

Let’s get a look at our yearly standings, presented to you by Ted’s Montana Grill and Costco.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 30 points
t3bird04 – 28 points
Jsquad34 – 22 points
Swindaman3 – 21 points
Diamondhoggers – 18 points

And now, for a list of this week’s ‘Fantasy Players to Kill’. First, the yearly players whom have probably left your roto team with a gunshot wound to the head; and in critical condition. There’s a chance for survival but you will eating from a straw for the rest of your life and your memory is reduced to nursery rhymes you learned in second grade. Your front teeth are also removed if you owned some of these guys.

  • Sonny Gray
  • Justin Upton
  • Jason Heyward (one damn home run, so funny)
  • Matt Harvey
  • Yordano Ventura
  • Prince Fielder
  • Lorenzo Cain
  • All Kansas City Royals outside of Eric Hosmer
  • Troy Tulowitzki
  • Michael Brantley
  • Dallas Keuchel (shave the fucking beard, you doofus)
  • Adam Wainwright
  • Giancarlo Stanton (was just brought to my attention he’s like 0 for his last 20-something)
  • All guys named Carlos; except Rodon is okay this week.
  • Bombshell…. BRYCE HARPER. If you’re not in a league that counts OB%, you are in a world of shit owning Harper lately.
  • Joey Votto
  • Tony Cingrani

And now for the weekly shitheads:

  • Yoenis Cespedes
  • Giancarlo Stanton
  • Sonny Gray
  • Jose Ramirez
  • Anthony Rizzo
  • Marcus Semien
  • Francisco Cervelli
  • Gerrit Cole
  • Daniel Murphy
  • Blake Swihart
  • Houston Astros
  • Marcus Semien

And now, a look at the weekly winner’s lineup card, our own t3bird04. As Swindaman3 pointed out, Miggy is clearly Bird’s wife for this week.

Screen Shot 2016-05-23 at 9.58.06 PM

So, what will happen next week when we gather again? Can I make it three straight last place finishes? Will we have a new leader atop the standings? Can all five gents avoid a pitcher in the negative for the first time all year long? Will the bacon wrapped appetizers make all of our whores sick by the time the 10:00 games start? Will my wife tell me to go to bed early because we have to wake up early on Saturday morning and go to the zoo? Probably. But you must stay tuned because the answers are still unwritten….. in the Gentleman’s Cup Series 2016.

Junior Guerra is the whore we have been looking for in the Gentleman’s Game

448855

DStars45 won with dignity and class this past Friday night. It is he who braved the dangerous waters and made an offering to the biggest whore on the board on any Friday night this year, $4,000 Junior Guerra.

Screen Shot 2016-05-16 at 11.18.35 PM

Guerra did indeed put out to the tune of 23.1 DraftKings points, throwing six innings of shutout ball against the shit Padres and combined forces with Chris Sale, Joe Panik, and Bryce Harper to give DStars the win and five more points on his yearly lead that is quickly starting to slip away from the rest of us.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 27 points
t3bird04 – 23 points
Jsquad34 – 20 points
Swindaman3 – 18 points
Diamondhoggers – 17 points

Rather than bogging down the column with “My lineup scored 41 points and almost topped Swindy’s toilet lineup from a few weeks ago by becoming the lowest scoring gents lineup of all-time” we will pivot and go in a different direction with today’s column.

Each week, we will make a short list of “Fantasy Players to Kill”. These are the guys who are absolutely destroying you in your yearly leagues, or that guy we pony up $5,000 for each Friday on Draftkings only to skunk us with zero points. Coors Field Yoenis Cespedes can certainly suck a big one. Here’s the list for right now:

  • Dallas Keuchel
  • Sonny Gray
  • Kevin Jepsen (really not fair to put him here because if you’re rostering Jepsen, you are the one who deserves to be killed).
  • Justin Upton
  • Paul Goldschmidt (owners are freaking out, he’s going to be okay he’s just not been all-world yet)
  • Delino DeShields Jr. (totally worthless, sent down, he escapes the list next week)
  • Carlos Gomez
  • Carlos Rodon
  • Carlos Santana
  • Carlos Martinez
  • Any fuckin’ guy whose parents even though about naming him Carlos
  • Randall Grichuk
  • Jose Berrios
  • David Peralta (his homers have come against Jose Fernandez, a lefty, and yeah he had one when I had him in the lineup. He’s now hurt and on the DL after the DBacks said he wouldn’t go on the DL for the last three weeks).
  • Albert Pujols
  • Matt Harvey, see below

Now for the DFS fuck-sticks du’jour:

  • Josh Donaldson (homers against lefties like a golden rule when I don’t use him in DFS; when I do an pay a million dollars for the rights to use him he gets a zero, against a lefty).
  • Mike Trout (probably wants to be elsewhere on a Friday night, never hits or does much on Friday evenings, cost a zillion dollars, he’s never seemed so boring to own in seasonal).
  • Justin Upton (could easily list him in any discussion where being poor at baseball is discussed)
  • Jake Odirizzi (only ended up here because he ruined my night 15 minutes into Friday evening, the A’s too…. really?)
  • Prince Fielder
  • Michael Wacha (maybe the most boring pitcher in baseball)
  • Joey Votto
  • Matt Harvey (nice to see him here too because I’ve often wondered if there’s a bigger POS in all of baseball. F Matt Harvey in his Dark Knight pants and all his owners who acted like he was the second coming of Tom Seaver in any trade negotiation in March).

Alright, that about clears things up for this week. Let’s take a look at DStars45’s winning lineup, which he was nice enough to file from his relaxing vacation condominium in the Florida panhandle. He gets brownie points in my book for using Catcher/Punt Play Tommy Joseph who was once the lead drummer for Skid Row:

Screen Shot 2016-05-16 at 11.18.47 PM

So……….. what will happen when we show up to the cocktail party next week?

Which players will be noticed for their incompetence at what they’re paid handsomely to do? Can any whore lift her skirt higher for a cheaper price than Junior Guerra? It’s becoming a very cool thing to do to find the best whore each Friday night; while t3bird04 continues to do the smart thing and bring his wife, Chris Sale. And don’t forget, Poop Meteorolgist Swindaman3; master of the morning toilet lineup, is now doing battle with ME for the futility spot in the DFS Gentleman’s Game standings. Which one of us can succeed in building a 19 point lineup? I looked like I had a great shot until Joe Panik got going.

As always, you must stay tuned in to find out. It is the Gentleman’s Game which is the highest honor in DFS. It is not for the weak at heart or mind.

t3bird is once again steady and dependable in the Gentleman’s Game

Screen Shot 2016-05-09 at 12.04.03 AM

Four Gentleman had a big opportunity to gain ground on the leader and defending champion, DStars45; while he was on vacation. Only one Gent truly took advantage and that is the unheralded t3bird04.

“The Family Man of DFS” as he is affectionately known as within the industry put up an impressive 129.4 points on Friday night to take home the grand prize and the five points in the standings.

You see, while we are all running around wondering about which whores we will bring to the luxurious Friday night event every week, the bird man simply does the right thing and brings his wife. It is fitting that on this mother’s day weekend, he can boast to mama and wife while we all tuck our tails and try to think of a better way to succeed against his advanced mind.

Bird has Zach Greinke to thank for his big win, along with Joey Votto, David Peralta, Roughned Odor, and ALEX FRIGGIN PRESLEY! Nice play on Presley.

I was the only other gent to use Greinke; but I paired him with the turd of the week, Taijuan Walker. More on that later.

Three gentleman used Noah Syndergaard, and for his price tag the 14.7 points he brought home was not rewarding. Except for our own t3bird that is.

Here’s a look at where the standings sit heading into the teeth of May.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 22 points
t3bird04 – 20 points
Swindaman3 – 17 points
Diamondhoggers – 16 points
Jsquad34 – 16 points

And here’s a look at t3bird’s lineup for Friday night:

Screen Shot 2016-05-09 at 12.04.12 AM

I had to include this little exchange on our GroupMe chat. We began talking about Taijuan Walker leaving the game after just two innings in Houston. Aw, isn’t that cute? He wasn’t feeling quite right but no worries, he’ll be out there for his next start when we can’t use him to throw eight strong innings.

But the real gold in this exchange is JSquad34’s rundown on DFS in general. It is truly, just the worst. I will only continue playing for this great honor of going to battle against these four gents. And for this article.

Ch_JmAoWUAAtFtZ

So what will happen next week? Will t3bird04 and his wife leave the event early for a safe night in while the other four gents chasing their whores around the Gentleman’s Game Mansion? Will I find a way to again score 55 measly points? There will be one gent alone in last next week…. what will his name be? I wouldn’t want to be that gent, but the reality is I very well could be.

You must stay tuned to find out.

Diamondhoggers wins their first Gentleman Cup Series Game of the Year

Screen Shot 2016-05-01 at 2.54.05 PM

You knew it was only a matter of time….. if you were bat shit crazy that is.

The founding father of The Gentleman’s Game finally put the weekly title back in Tinsel Town, sneaking by the defending champion DStars45 with the help of King Felix Hernandez and his old teammate Ichiro Suzuki. Suzuki led off and was only owned by the winning gent, so for the low price of 2500 he provided quite the surplus of points for what he cost.

The Gentleman’s game MVP was Juan Nicasio; surprisingly popular and rolled out by three of the five players against the lowly Cincinnati Reds. He delivered in racking up 33.35 points and keyed the week for Diamondhoggers.

We now have a two way tie for second place, with the man in first putting a little distance between him and the other four contestants. We have some work to do.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 20 points
t3bird04 – 15 points
Diamondhoggers – 15 points
Swindaman3 – 14 points
Jsquad34 – 12 points

Screen Shot 2016-05-01 at 2.54.14 PM

Short write up this week, because I’m watching a WWE pay per view (like that’s a good excuse) and because it was a long weekend. We will be back with more shenanigans next weekend.

Every day should be Friday thanks to the Gentleman’s Cup Series. We have a long summer ahead of us, sure to make many whacky twists and turns.

The Gentleman’s Game Welcomes it’s Mayor for an evening

Screen Shot 2016-04-23 at 7.55.10 PM

Notice anything new about the scores? This past Friday we welcomed in our first celebrity guest to the Gentleman’s Cup Game – Fantasy Alarm and Sirius Radio’s Jeff Mans. If you listen to him on the drive home during the week, and you like daily fantasy and you’re a baseball guy; you probably like him. He’s a speaker of the truth, a real beacon in this dark world and we were pleased to have him as guest in our contest of sharks.  He even followed etiquette by bringing a well-dressed whore to the event! Gio Gonzalez, come on down! I like it. I like it a lot. The only gent who brought Gio as a date on Friday night was Mr. Mans, and it was a good enough move to get him into fourth, leaving two embarrassed gents with their pants down at nights end.

Continue reading The Gentleman’s Game Welcomes it’s Mayor for an evening

Swindaman3 Takes down the Week Three Gentleman’s Game

Screen Shot 2016-04-16 at 9.20.15 PM

I have to apologize as this post usually comes on a Saturday, but Swindaman3 won this week; and as is customary I will never wake up the morning after losing to one of his lineups he set on the toilet at his work and voluntarily waste my 30 minutes of leisure time to write about his big triumphant victory.

The fact of the matter is – Swindaman won the week three Gentleman’s game with a fine score of 136.05, and he didn’t even use Chris Sale. In fact, the fun fact of the Gentleman’s game this week is that the top two Gents did not use Sale and his 46+ points in his hometown area of Tampa. Swindaman3 rolled with Jake Odorizzi, who only decided to throw decently because I left him on my bench in my yearly leagues. The ‘swing’ move of the week and Gentleman’s game MVP was Matty Holliday. He homered twice against the Reds and tallied 36 points. In a stroke of economist brilliance, Swindaman3 was the only gent to roll out The Undertaker Matt Holliday in this week’s gentleman’s duel.

He also had Josh Harrison for some reason; who lucked his way into 16 points. Jason Castro was a great punt play as he stole a bag and had 11 valuable points. Surplus value for my man Swindaman3 here on his way to the huge cash prize for the week and the full FIVE points!

Our champion and current standings leader DStars45 got 37 huge points from that little Kike Hernandez to pull him into second later in the night. He now holds a commanding lead in the yearly standings.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 13 points
t3bird04 – 9 points
Diamondhoggers – 8 points
Swindaman3 – 8 points
Jsquad34 – 7 points

I want to note that I got 46+ and 28+ from my two pitchers; Sale and Joe Ross. Then Carlos Correa and Mike Trout gave me two points a piece, and Craig Gentry, Buster Posey, and Ryan Goins all zeroed on the night. This is complete horse shit, and these men have now been blacklisted from my future Gentleman’s Game Cocktail Party Guests Lists.

Here is a look at whom Swindaman3 invited in route to the victory:
Screen Shot 2016-04-16 at 9.30.47 PM

A few notes on this week’s gentleman’s game:

  • In a cunning move of bravery, JSquad34 rolled out three Giants against Clayton Kershaw: Posey, Matt Duffy, and Hunter Pence. It didn’t work out .
  • Our own t3bird got zeroes from Emannuel Burris (who was not a prophet on this night), Francisco Cervelli, Stephen Piscotty, and Coco Crisp. Like a bad bug at the office, there were a lot of the zero-flu flying around Friday evening.
  • The only gent to use Bryce Harper on his homer binge was DStars45, and he tallied 24 points.

Next week will be a very important week for us Gentleman. We must collectively pull together to overthrow the runaway rebel force that is DStars45. This has gone on long enough. We need to do well enough that he gets a measly one or two in points, and we all need to get back in this. We must phone his wife and ask her to secretly steal his phone at their Friday evening dinner and enter the likes of Chris Collabello and Danny Espinosa, with bonus points going to her if they are not in the lineup! We must hope this man loses his mind, and we reap all the benefits!

So………. what will happen next week?

Will Swindaman3 defeat all with a lineup he creates in four minutes while on the shitter? Will JSquad34 dig way down deep to crawl out of the Gentleman’s Game basement? Will Diamondhoggers roll out two of the finest hitters in the game again and render them helpless like only he can do with any player? Hell, I’ve ruined Paul Goldschmidt so far! Which pitching whore will be cordially invited for the first time to the cocktail party? Can we reach Mrs. DStars45 in the coming week to get her help to poison the righteous king? It may be our only hope.

You must tune in next week to find out, as we continue to write the monumental saga of the Gentleman’s Cup Series presented by Thornton’s Gas Station and our other sponsor, Cane’s Fried Chicken. Eat at Cane’s, and make sure you get the toast with your meal!

CgSdIm1UMAIOLdU

The Champ is back on top in the Gentleman’s Game

Screen Shot 2016-04-10 at 2.19.10 PM

The first Friday edition of the Gentleman’s Game Cup Series on DraftKings had several stunning occurrences. Tyler “The Great White” of the Houston Astros was definite MVP of the Gentleman’s Game this week. His 26 points led the way for DStars45 to take the week, the huge winnings, and his top place in the standings from last season.

JSquad34 spent the week complaining about what a sham Draftkings is. He’s right – however JSquad34 believes that Draftkings would make life wonderful if they would allow for late-swaps of players involved in bad weather games. We disagree a little bit here; but I do think DraftKings is shadier than the largest shade tree in my grandfather’s backyard – a 200 year old oak. Several Gentleman learned this week that their referrals have been zeroed out by Draftkings to pay (we assume) their lofty attorney fees. This is really too bad; not because I will miss the $10.15 in “Draftkings bucks” I received each month, but because I had to beg, borrow, and steal to get people to sign up under my name. Literally, the three or so guys I talked into being “my recruit” on Draftkings probably do not like me anymore because of the sales job I did to get them to sign up through the site, referral code “Diamondhoggers”. People in general do not like you selling things to them. I have done it for a living for over a decade. Hawking Draftkings services to a friend just sounds shady from the get-go, and about 30 minutes in I always feel like I am trying to get them to buy a coupon booklet or phone directory. Anyways, none of that matters now because I have no more referrals. If any draftkings employee reads this – I would like you to use referral code “kiss my ass” from here forth for a deposit bonus on this website!

JSquad34 should get props for being the only Gentleman to use the animal that is named Josh Donaldson. He hit a grand slam and was worth 20 points. This alone pulled the Gent we call ‘The Squad’ into second place. We don’t really call him that, though.

T3Bird was t3bogey during this Master’s week. He took zeroes from Luis Valbuena and Nelson Cruz in route to scoring 85+ points and coming in third place. Another winning move was using Scooter Gennett for his home run and 16 points. He was the only gent other than the victor to use the Scooter on Friday night. Scooters can be a lot of fun when you ride them with a few gents.

As for Diamondhoggers (that’s us, let’s just be real here), well where do we start. Diamondhoggers….. it’s gonna take a solid month or two to get you sorted the fuck out with your DFS. What a mess. Just 61.65 pathetic points on a lineup you spent all day tinkering with. The move you were most excited about was bringing a trash whore like Matt Wisler to the cocktail party. It really worked out well for a while, too. You thought you had them all fooled. And then Matt started saying things that made others question why he was your date to begin with in such a fine establishment. And things got foiled. Diamondhoggers was awarded with two pity points for putting their name on the paper and finds themselves in an uphill battle in this early gentleman’s joust.

And then there’s Swindaman3. We are checking with the Elias Sports Bureau on this, but it is possible that his 33.35 points was the lowest recorded score in the history of the Gentleman’s game. Matt Shoemaker did the honors this week as the Gentleman’s Game Turd of the week with a negative -7.25 points. Matt Shoemaker is the kind of whore you want to bring to the cocktail party! We like El Swindy’s train of thought here. It could have definitely worked. Marcus Stroman’s off night and a slow night from his hitters compounded the bad behavior on Shoemaker’s part. He’s done this before at the Friday night gala.

Here’s the look at the standings at the two-contest mark:

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 9 points
t3bird04 – 8 points
Diamondhoggers – 5 points
Jsquad34 – 5 points
Swindaman3 – 3 points

And here is a copy of the winning entry by DStars45:
Screen Shot 2016-04-10 at 2.18.59 PM

So now we wait. It’s after weeks like this that I wish there was a gentleman’s game on a Tuesday so we could all take aim at proper vengeance. But you only get so many Gentleman’s Games in life to take advantage. It is a high-pressure environment that simply isn’t for everyone in the Daily Fantasy realm.

So what will happen next week? Will JSquad34 take aim at Draftking’s rake amount? Which new whore will diamondhoggers have on his arm come Friday evening? Will Swindaman3 complain that this post came too late in the week and say that he is not interesting in reading it? Will our own t3bird spread his wings and decide to go for an eagle? Will Dstars45 permanently elect Tyler White into his circle of trust?

You must tune in next week to find out.

Chipping off the Winter Ice: The Gentleman’s Game Returns to DFS

Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 8.42.48 PM

While it might seem like just yesterday that we were crowning our inaugural DFS Gentleman’s Game Cup Series champion last October, it’s been seven damn rough months. So if this first column is offensive, not funny, not interesting, or causes you to never visit this site again; please forgive me.

We’ll save the humor for the meat of the season, and this incredible battle and test of will that these five men once again volunteer to enter. It is the same cast of characters you all remember from last season’s ensemble.

Yesterday’s contest was lead almost exclusively by the champ, DStars45; until Zach Greinke got involved and decided he was going to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. A huge thanks to Greinke and his -7 points yesterday (he also helped lose my moneyline bet on the DBacks as a bonus) in being the deciding factor and first confirmed gentleman’s game turd of the season. Two unfortunate owners were on the receiving end of Greinke’s desert diarrhea.

Our very own t3bird04 spread his wings and avoided the iceberg in the middle of the Gents game sea by using Chris Sale against a light-hitting Athletics team. This, along with the help of Bryce Harper, Daniel Murphy, and Josh Donaldson were enough to carry the bird to victory. Harper and Sale were named co-MVP’s of this week’s Opening Day Gentleman’s game by the competition committee which is basically just me; a guy who sits in his mom’s basement and writes articles about his four friends and their little contest. Do not be jealous of my life. You think I am kidding? I would allow you to phone the basement I live in to prove it to you but you guessed it, there is no landline!

Alright, how about a look at those yearly standings? Swindaman3 was almost docked a point this morning for being a smart ass.

Yearly Standings:
t3bird04 – 5 points
DStars45 – 4 points
Diamondhoggers – 3 points
Swindaman3 – 2 points
Jsquad34 – 1 point

Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 8.43.03 PM

A very workman-like effort yesterday from our very own t3Bird04, who used his cunning guile and superior strength to out work the other four gentleman. With his winnings, he plans to buy a gumball and a pack of skittles and will still have some left over for his retirement account. We welcome and expect better efforts this Friday from all five Gents when we hit the field again.

Oh but wait….. what will happen next week? Will some team’s high-priced ace throw the ball in the gap time and again to ruin our evening? Will Swindaman3 again reach for the helping hand of Brett Lawrie’s three points? Or how about Diamondhoggers; will he use three economy priced Tampa Bay Rays to yield a simple two points each off walks because they are worthless? Will our own t3bird continue to spread his wings and soar towards the pinnacle of life and fantasy sports? Will Draftkings swallow itself like the sun? How many more Gentleman’s games do we even have left? Such as days in life, we are not told this.

There are so many questions unanswered, and we have a long season to fill in the many blanks. Tune in Friday for the next installment of the Gentleman’s Game. Actually it will be Saturday or even later for me to write the post if I don’t win. But tune in next time!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

CanuffCWwAAe_G0

Not really. February is brutal. It might as well be called ‘Barnes & Noble Season’ to the baseball fan. It’s fantasy magazine February for all of us impatiently waiting to start our rotosserie league drafts in March. But we are in a period of Festivus with April 3rd and 4th being the day we can all open our great gifts.

Every year it’s a rite of passage, I buy one of these bad boys. Not because I need it but simply because for tradition’s sake; it just helps to remind me of a lot of the things I feel like I already know.

Anyways, I spent an hour this morning trying to read through this while at the same time trying to keep my daughter from putting the toy train set in her mouth. It just wasn’t happening. It’s still a great time of year any time you get to see some of the new fantasy magazine covers out on the racks. It means we don’t have long until our Christmas.

A Gentleman’s Cup Series Champion has been Crowned!

Screen Shot 2015-10-04 at 11.16.34 AM

Friday night was a landmark night in five men’s lives. Now as a footnote in the whole thing, Diamondhoggers won the final Gentleman’s Game of the year to avoid the basement, and finish tied for third place with our own t3bird04.

But the real story, was the battle between DStars45 and Swindaman3. All year long it was like Apollo Creed vs. Rocky Balboa, these two heavyweights slugging it out one weekend at a time. Rumor has it that the two did not even speak for six weeks down the stretch while trying to decide who would come out on top of this duel.

And in the end, Swindaman3 had his opportunities granted to him by his fellow gentleman. They stayed out of last place, leaving the door open for Dstars45 to find himself there; with a win, a tie-breaker match would have been forced between the two Gentleman at the top of the standings.

However, Swindaman3 in his time of need reached for the likes of Ervin Santana and Torii Hunter which proved to be a fatal misstep. He did however, post an impressive 30 points from Luis Valbuena which is the kind of thing you need to do to win a Gentleman’s Game.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 81.5 Points ** GENTLEMAN’S CUP CHAMPION **
Swindaman3 – 79.5 points
Diamondhoggers – 72 points
t3bird04 – 72 Points
Jsquad34 – 69 Points

Here’s a copy of the final winning lineup from Diamondhoggers. You’ll see that no gentleman tallied 100 points, this is the kind of Gentleman’s Game muck that’s just fit to rake for Diamondhoggers, winning with total slop.

Screen Shot 2015-10-04 at 11.16.42 AM

SO what will happen next week? Well these posts sadly disappear until next spring. By then a few new Gentleman will want in this. But we will be selective as to whom will get in our midnight club. You think you’re good enough? Send an email to diamondhoggers_at_gmail dot com and let us know why you deserve to be in the gentleman’s game. If we get some responses, we’ll post them on the site each week and just possibly invite a new gentleman to the game.

Other than that, we’ll miss the fun and exposure we had to eachother from afar in our contests. The memories. C.J. Cron’s backside dump single at one in the morning meaning something to all of us. The little things.

Congratulations to our first Gentleman’s Cup Champion, DStars45. His DFS excellence shines through in this contest of warriors.

Last Week’s Friday Night Gentleman’s Game was decided in Dramatic Fashion

Screen Shot 2015-09-26 at 9.26.25 AM

Well, well, well. Who knew that Carlos Carrasco could be so much damn fun? Two gentleman, that’s who. They go by the names of DStars45, and Swindaman3. And they’re the stars of the 2015 Gentleman’s game because they make the bold calls. They’re good under pressure. They can probably drive their vehicles through rush hour with their knees on the way home from work… all while setting their gentleman’s game lineup. They make the bold calls with the chips in the middle of the table. Calls like using Carlos “Jekyll and Hyde” Carrasco against the DFS kill your pitcher buzz-saw that is the Kansas City Royals.

Now one caveat would have been that the game was in Kansas City, which suppresses offense. The other side of that is when you trust a player who wears a Cleveland uniform in any sport, it typically ends badly. These two brave warriors were rewarded with the first and second places in the Friday night game and will enter this Friday, the Gentleman’s Game Final with a chance to become the Gentleman of the Year.

We’ve had calls from different sponsors inquiring about doing a deal with the winner of this eventual title. Nothing is set in stone at this point, but the man who wins this contest stands to win a lifetime of fame and riches if they can come up with a big performance Friday night.

Swindaman3 was incredibly heroic, winning the Friday night game by a mere .15; the closest finish between first and second in the illustrious history of the contest.

A look at the standings reveals what is needed for each gent, and what is at stake. The bottom feeding gentleman will not merely look to just stay out of the basement and not finish last but to play spoiler for the likes of Swindaman3. It is here that past vengeances could be sought out. It is here that lifelong friendships are made, and lifelong foes are adopted.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 80.5 Points
Swindaman3 – 76.5 points
t3bird04 – 68 Points
Jsquad34 – 68 Points
Diamondhoggers – 67 points

And here is a look at the winning lineup by Swindaman3. All joking aside, it really was a clutch performance. Look at him using Tyler Flowers AND Travis Shaw there. Look at him getting underpriced Mike Trout into the mix along with Sexi Alexei. Who would have had the guts to use Sonny Gray as bad as he’s been this last month plus against the NL version of the Royals; the Giants? Swindaman3, that’s who.

This is why he is in this position, and three other gents are not. He must hope for a last place finish from DStars45 and he must win first place next week. His pursuit of first place has been one of the most courageous acts ever seen in the fantasy realm, daily or otherwise.

“You really don’t know pressure in life until you’ve had your back to the wall in the Gentleman’s Game,” said an exhausted Swindaman3 on Sunday night from his home. “I don’t know what I’ll go with on Friday night, but I hope most of DStars45’s players get rained out”.

Screen Shot 2015-09-26 at 9.26.33 AM

So we ask for the final time in 2015…. what will happen next week? Will T3bird rise up and kamikaze Mr. Swindaman’s hopes through the branches?  Will any gent decide to use Kelby Tomlinson if he’s there and in the lineup for 2000? Or how about the fierce battle between diamondhoggers and JSquad34 to not get last place? Will Dstars45 put together a fourth place or better lineup to secure the first Gentleman’s game title, and all the prize money and endorsements that comes with it?

YOU MUST TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT!

T3Bird04 Flies to the Top of a Sluggish Friday Night Football Gentleman’s Game

Screen Shot 2015-09-19 at 11.49.19 AM

There is just one Gentleman’s game remaining this season.

Some things would seem to be decided, with DStars45 holding down things in the top spot even with a tough Friday night. But hold on a second. I am told that the Gentleman’s Game competition committee is discussing a wrinkle in the contest that would allow for point values to be doubled in the final week, or a possible twi-night double header; making much up for grabs. Yes, you heard that right. It is possible the Gentleman’s Cup champion to come down to the final week.

As for this past week’s contest, it was as sluggish as it seemed. With football in play and fall activities to be done in life, you’ll have nights where the Gentleman come out a little bit subpar. We will need to check with the Elias Sports Bureau, but we believe it to be the first Gentleman’s Game in which there was no member to reach 100 total points.

T3Bird04 was the victor last night, pulling out all the stops with home runs from Justin Smoak and Khris Davis, and solid enough performances from Madison Bumgarner and Max Scherzer.

It just wasn’t a night where you needed a lot from your bats as long as you collected two quality starts, and the bird was indeed the word.

Here’s a look at the yearly standings:

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 76.5 Points
Swindaman3 – 71.5 points
t3bird04 – 67 Points
Diamondhoggers – 65 points
Jsquad34 – 65 Points

And now a look at the magic potion that T3bird04 used to foil the other gents:

 

Screen Shot 2015-09-19 at 11.49.42 AM

BUT…. what will happen next week? We are not done yet as there is one weekend of baseball remaining. And like true gentleman, we will see this party through until the final light switch has been turned off.

Was the Inaugural Gentleman’s Cup Decided Friday Evening?

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 11.17.25 AM

This is your very quick update for the weekly Gentleman’s Game on Draftkings – it typically comes on a Saturday but we had to take care of our kiddo all Saturday afternoon and today of course was the first day of NFL season.

As you can see above, DStars45 once again soundly dominated the Gentleman’s Cup Series game on Friday evening. Wellington Castillo, Paul Goldschmidt, and NOLAN REIMOLD were his big contributors with the bat, and Chris Archer (used only by Diamondhoggers otherwise) and Steven Matz did not do enough wrong to harm DStars’ lineup, a lineup that saw no member zero, which is often key when you can get those 3 or 4 guys to go off for double digits.

This was a very key Gentleman’s Game. DStars45 and Swindaman3 were seperated entering this game by just three points; now that gap has grown to seven with just two (scheduled Gentleman’s games to go).

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 75.5 Points
Swindaman3 – 68.5 points
Jsquad34 – 63 Points
t3bird04 – 62 Points
Diamondhoggers – 61 points

It also seems the battle for basement futility could come down to the bitter end.

Here’s a copy of the possible soon to be best Gentleman’s winning lineup:

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 11.17.44 AM

Diamondhoggers wins the Gentleman’s Game short two players

Screen Shot 2015-09-05 at 12.06.29 PM

Things are tightening up in the Gentleman’s Game Cup Series.

We now have a three-way tie at the bottom rung of the ladder, with our own t3bird04, JSquad34, and Diamondhoggers all locked up; nothing decided after nearly five months of baseball. Things also got a little more interesting at the top with Swindaman3 earning two points last night, and DStars45 earning one. Overall, the gentleman’s game last night was a low-scoring affair with only one contestant reaching the 100 or greater mark. A three run total game in Coors Field certainly didn’t help those gents who went looking for their offense in Colorado.

All five gents went with Jacob DeGrom against the Marlins – seemed like an easy call, right? Think again. This is DFS baseball, and nothing makes sense. DeGrom earned a little bit less than a point per $1,000 he cost to use in your lineup last night, totaling a paltry 10.1 in Miami.

Here are a look at the up to date standings for the year.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 70.5 Points
Swindaman3 – 67.5 points
t3bird04 – 59 Points
Jsquad34 – 59 Points
Diamondhoggers – 59 points

The moves that really had Diamondhoggers out in front last night – despite losing Jay Bruce and Todd Frazier (who probably would have combined for like three points anyway) – were using red hot Chris Davis who is clearly back on adderall and Alexei Ramirez who luck-boxed his way to four hits and 27 points.

Diamondhoggers also used Joe Kelly who was pedestrian as usual but got 18 points and the win for the Red Sox. Here is a copy of the picks to click that worked last night.

Screen Shot 2015-09-05 at 12.06.38 PM

So what will happen next week, or next time we decide to gather at the cyber bar for this gents affair? This battle of statistical Goliaths. It is possible that we have just three contests remaining. The math is still there for anyone to win this, but those gents at the bottom of the standings will need outside help and a major collapse from DStars45 and Swindaman3 that is very unlikely. Also, it’s impossible to be consistent at DFS baseball really, so you have to factor that in. In this organized chaos, two gents have stood alone as the best gents for the job. The goal for the other three simply remains to stay out of the basement and play for pride until next spring rolls around. They’re ready for the Gentleman’s NFL cup (which starts next weekend).