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The fantasy baseball injury-gout

By on June 7, 2007

You all probably remember my last rant about my fantasy baseball team; and if you don’t it’s cool it wasn’t really worth the time it took to bitch about it. I’m here today to talk about why my team has implanted themsleves into 8th place like an ass-splinter from a teeter totter that needs re-finished in the back yard.

Now if you’ll think back, or just click this hyperlink back to when I drafted this group of talented but over-the-hill stiffs, I said although I drafted well I knew that I had a group that was older and going to have a very hard time staying healthy.

Also if you would have told me that Ken Griffey Jr. would be healthy and playing like he was 26 30 again–but that Joe Mauer would be hurt and missing time, I would have said you’re fucking potsa-lagots (that’s Italian for crazy). Of course, in fantasy baseball nothing is as it seems. Down is up and up is down and that is the way the wind blows.

There is a shithead, New Yorker, loud mouth, overbearing fucktard in my fantasy league that likes the Mets. He’s a dickwad. He tries to tell me I don’t know dick about fantasy baseball. I think he should go fuck himself and here’s the biggest reason(s) why:

Joe Mauer.

Josh Hamilton.

Akinori Iwamura.

Chipper Jones.

Shawn Green.

Hell even Takashi Saito has got a little bit of that ill now. You try and compete when half your fucking crew is on the shelf for some bullshit and bogus injury. I’m using filler talent like John Buck and Geoff Jenkins to get it done. I still don’t have any starting pitching but if I just had some health, this team would be raking more then any team in the league and I still like my chances in the second half of the season to pickup and find some starters to get my K’s, ERA, WHIP and Wins back to respectable and mid-league numbers.


Speaking of my starting pitching, I had to cut Ted Lilly, the dirtball (more on that someday) loose. I was afraid he was going to give some of my other starters the crabs he got in Toronto. I also was sick of looking at his 5 year old head on his 30 year old body. I just can’t have that on my squad.
Thanks for listening Hoggers.
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