Tommy’s females

The Don of baseball; just ask him.

One of the staff here at Diamond Hoggers had a run-in with Tommy Lasorda, at Great American Ballpark one time. It was a pleasurable experience. Tommy was a cordial man, in snide and condescending demeanor. Tommy was kind enough to sign my menu from the ballpark restaurant from of the diamond seats in Great American. Tom also was kind enough, to provide me with information on how to live my life, and how I should get good grades in school and work really hard every day, concentrating on my studies (I was 21), all so I can be all I can be, just like him. We were lucky enough to be on hand for another encounter with Mr. Lasorda who is to baseball what Gotti was to the mob. We call this said episode, “Tom” Lasorda (as he calls himself in 3rd person) has an interest in dirty pussy.

Oh yeah baby. Tommy likes what he sees. Say, I know a good meatball joint down the street? Wanna take a walk with me and then when we get there you can suck my cock in the bathroom? Oh, whatsamatta? You don’t like Italian food? So get a hoagie, that trash is close enough to fucking polish. I already had lunch anyway.

So whats your name sweetheart? Violet? Well isn’t that a pretty little name. You look like you are all of about 17 years old. What do you like to do? Do you like baseball? Do you like the Dodgers? Ya, well thats good. I am the Dodgers. Yeah, me. Say, how do you get your dick? Yeah? You like older men? I’m not as old as I look. Honest, I can still fuck with the best of em’. My legs are strong, you know, I was a ballplayer. Yeah, I was. You look bored, whatsamatta? Don’t you wanna get filled up with this big old italian sausage? Wait, wait…don’t leave. How much do you need to sit on my lap and call me your daddy? $20? Twenty fucking dollars? I’ll give ya ten you fuckin leach! Wait…alright. Fuck here, $20.

Ya now go ahead, and get comfy. Remember I’m daddy, and you’re my little girl. I like your blonde hair little girl. Whatsamatta you don’t like white hair? My breath smells like garlic? Fuck you, I paid you good money not to say comments like that to me little girl. I don’t give a shit what your name is, I paid you good money to have you make me feel good. If I wanna call you ‘organism that houses a twat’ it’s my right. There, daddy is chewing on some altoids now, and his breath is all fresh and ready to continue.

Oh well look who else is here to play little girl. I think I could see him now if he wasn’t poking that round and ripe ass-a-yours right in the heart of it’s target. How much would it take for you to get down on your knees and tell your daddy that you wanna ram his big italian breadstick down that fucking throat of yours? Ya go ahead and do it, I’m Tom Lasorda, I’m good for it, I have, ya know credentials. Go ahead…..ah yeah (zip), aw he’s out now.
What do you think little girl? You like daddy’s big italian breadstick cock? I think it needs to be dipped in some sauce. Yeah, little girl sauce. You want daddy to get that sauce warm and ready for his breadstick? I remind you more of your grampa? Well fuck you, I get more pussy now than Mantle had water, or shots, whateva. Whatsamatta with you? Are you fucking nuts? I’m paying you for service. Tom Lasorda expects service with a smile, and alotta respect.

Aw, I know what might make you ready to fuck. You’re young. I know what interests kids your age sweetheart. Did you know daddy had a video game named just after him? Well he sure did. They wanted to make another one too, but I told them to blow me. Haha, I knew you’d like that. That game was fun I hear, I never knew how to play. You know what else is fun? Getting my big breadstick out and whacking it around like you got money to make. Yeah.

But you didn’t need to know that Ginger, sweetheart. Yeah, all you need to know is what the ring around Tommy’s dick tastes like. Yeah, now go ahead, get to work. Oh god little girl. You’re a dirty whore. What are you, Italian? You’re a jew gal? Well god damn, I never met a gold digging bitch that could stroke a cock like that. Yeah honey. You are daddy’s little gold digger. Yeah, you are. Stroke that cock like you want some money to go to the mall and buy some new slacks. Yeah stroke that breadstick till daddy gets hard, I know it’s taking a while but fuck, all this talking and using my hands to do it makes me nervous. You like sucking cock in the back of a Cadillac? Yeah? They gave daddy this car for winning Manager of the Year. Little did they know I would win it 5 more times. Maybe they would have given me a volkswagon then, and you’d be slobbering that thick shit all over daddy’s magic wand in the back of a Volkswagon, you dirty little dumpster of jiz. That’s right. You’re a lucky little jew.

Oh shit Violet. That’s daddy getting hard, in case you wondered. Bury that jew nose in my pubic hair, there’s alot of it. What I don’t have on my head is made up for down by that big length of meat. Haha, I knew you’d like that. Have you ever seen such a thing, look at that thing. Cock-the-size-of-a-ball-bat. Jeeeeezus. Keep whackin.

Alright, time for daddy to switch things up. I’m gonna call for a hit and run. Whatsamatta? You got a weird face on. I told you, I paid for service. Ride that old man dick like theres no tomarra. Yeah. What do you mean you’re getting tired? I haven’t even fucked yet! You need more money if we’re gonna do that? Aw, fuck you, money grubbin-you money grubbin sin of a little girl. You betta lick my ass for this. Afterwards we’ll go to a nice Italian joint. I’m orderin veal parmesan, I’ll eat the veal at dinner, then I’m eatin the linguini right outta ya ass Violet, you hear?

Now get-ta-fuckin! You’ll get your money you bitch. Is that all you kids care about, makin’ a buck? I’m a customer. I was always loyal, loyal to the Dodgers, and baseball. You’re nothing more than a sell-out. You remind me of that prick Dimaggio. Aw, fuck look what you didn’t do! I’m god-damn soft as Walter Alston! You jew-cunt! You fuckin’ big nosed heeb! I outta slap the Holocaust right out of you. Inconsiderate fucking gutta rat. Wait, where you going? I’m not a sick old man?!?! You’re the one that’s sick! Making an old cock hard like that then leaving? Who do you think you are Missy? I know your name ain’t Missy. Don’t get outta the car. You got work to do. I paid you good money, you outta-show-a-little-respect. Fine, you’re good for nothing swine! Go back to the fuckin’ gutta where you belong you fuckin Shylock!

What’s that? You’re goin to the cops? Fuck no you aren’t. Why would you do that? You can’t do that. No one would believe you anyways you pig. No loyalty. You got no heart, and no loyalty. Leave me here with a slobbered dick? I outta slap your big nose crooked you tramp. Kids got-no-respect. You’re really going aren’t you? Don’t go. Please. You don’t wanna do this to Tom Lasorda…..You don’t wanna ruin Tom Lasorda and the Dodgers do you? Please. I have kids, and a wife. Come back, we can work things out. This can’t be tougher than my old contract negotiations with Kirk Gibson and Bob Welch. Come on Violet, get back here on daddy’s lap.

Fine fuck you then! And I’ll send Schindler your name you fucking gold digga. You’re good for nothing and lousy. Fuck you! My breath didn’t smell like garlic and liver. I’ll tell the cops I found you asking for lunch and I was just gonna take you to a nice Italian joint down the street on the corner! Remember? I offered you lunch?