We Are All Todd Helton

todd-helton-dui-mugshot

This past week Todd Helton got picked up for DUI while buying a couple lottery tickets. While we in no way condone driving under the influence (at least since our early twenties), what more could a Major Leaguer do to prove he’s just like the rest of us?

Helton has accrued over $150 million in career earnings. We find it amusing that he crushed 8 or 10 Coors–you know it had to be Coors Original–and then headed to the local Citgo to buy himself a few scratch off’s. He was probably using the beer bottle top as his lucky scratcher.

The only thing Helton could have done to prove he was more like the everyman was buy a few of those condement station “chalupas” that twist all night on the turner in the middle of the gas station.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

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