Category Archives: Colorado Rockies

Yesterday was Javier Baez Day.


[Box Score]

Javier Baez career game number one got off to a great start. After the Cubs’ closer Hector Rondon blew an 11th inning lead, it was time for the heavy dramatics. Javier Baez’s first big league hit left the park and won the game for the Cubbies out in Colorado.

An amazing beginning. A great sign. We think he’ll be a .250 hitter here at best for a while but he’s going to hit some mistakes out because the power is real

We typically post a heavily-touted prospect’s scouting report before wishing him well in his big league debut. There are no great scouting reports on Baez out there on the internet for free, so you don’t get that today.

Clayton Kershaw brings more storied history to Los Angeles with one of the greatest games thrown since 1913


[No Hitter Box Score]

[LA Times] [Dodgers Digest]

I watch the Dodgers almost every night. Last night I was feeling rather tired from an early morning start, and I passed out in about the third inning; before history started to weave a magical web.

Wouldn’t you know that I missed it all. I missed the finest game thrown in 100 years, waking up in the middle of the night to a swarm of ESPN alert texts about the historic game that Kershaw threw.

I’ve got to document it here. It was one of the greatest games ever thrown. It ranks right there with Kerry Wood’s 20 strikeout performance one-hitter from back when we were in high school.

I hate myself not just for missing Kershaw’s game, but for missing Vin Scully calling it. This was probably one of the last great moments that Scully will tell the story for up in the booth.

Sure, the Rockies weren’t at full-strength. But they are a formidable lineup who has actually handled Kershaw very well as a group. That it went down in Dodger Stadium on a Wednesday night in June; well that just shows why this sport is so amazing.

It can grab you, sweep you up, captivate you at any moment because just that quickly and randomly it can be so magical.

Clayton Kershaw has the first no-hitter of his career. None of the youngsters were awake to see it, just like back in April of 1993 when Chris Bosio threw his no-hitter at the Kingdome; I remembered hearing about the big deal the next morning but I was fast asleep when he completed it.

Magic in a Time Capsule forever:

‘Chicken Soup’ Rosario is doing what he does best tonight; sitting on the roost

Baby Bull? More like Sitting Bull.
Baby Bull? More like Sitting Bull.

I owned Wilin Rosario last year in fantasy baseball, and I have to say it opened my eyes to one of the few things in baseball I apparently had been missing. This fuckin’ guy gets A LOT of days off where he’s not in the lineup. Seriously, he makes Bryce Harper look like an everyday player.

I meant to do this post two days ago, when Rosario got the night off after catching a whole six innings the night prior. I missed the boat, but I didn’t stress out about it; because you see I knew that Wilin Rosario would be sitting again soon. Tonight, that moment came once again.

I honestly wanted to put Walt Weiss in a very foreign choke hold of sorts last season because Rosario would be starting to get hot, and slated to face a left-handed pitcher at Coors Field. And then Walt Weiss would pull Rosario out of the lineup because he had a cold or needed his rest, etc.

It was absolutely mind-numbing. I wish I was exaggerating to tell you that Rosario seemed to play about three to four days a week on average in his good weeks. That was when he didn’t have an infected wisdom tooth, common cold, pulled hamstring, viral infection, water fungus on his fuckin’ elbow, day game after a night game, or asshole Weiss just sitting him because he played two days in a row.

I honestly got into the habit of rostering two catchers in fantasy baseball to safeguard against ‘Chicken Soup’ Rosario; and I am so thankful I did it because I was rewarded with Jonathan Lucroy this year late-round (lucked into that one) but this year with Lucroy and the Cather Du’ Jour on the roster I really don’t have a need for two catchers because Lucroy plays every night.

Look – I get that Rosario is a terrible defensive catcher – but his days off are absolutely excessive. Even though he has the immune system of a man with a T-Cell count of 12; I think it would be reasonable if he was in the lineup just a little bit more often.

Chicken Soup Rosario, sitting on his roost again. Watching over his flock of Rockies.

Even in defeat, Yasiel Puig’s Friday Night Dodger Stadium Bomb thrilled me


I rolled with Yasiel Puig (and Adrian Gonzalez) with a lot of confidence in yesterday’s Daily Fantasy $100,000 Big Score on DraftStreet. I had a feeling all week that late in the night, Yasiel Puig was going to do something big to help me. He profiles as that kind of player. My spider senses were partially correct:

Look at that swing of beauty. Look at where that ball lands. It’s not a moonshot, but it was to a decent part of those yellow bleacher in right-center. Puig has underrated power. I just love watching this guy play. You just knew with a guy out there like Jeremy Lyles (and Lyles has handled himself decently this year) something like this was bound to happen.

The Dodgers would lose the game 5-4 in 11 innings. They’re in a bit of a slide losing four of their last five at home.

We have a nickname for the #1 overall player in Fantasy Baseball Charlie Blackmon


A few weeks back some unheralded, bearded gnome went 6 for 6 in a Coors Field Friday game. On that day something special was born. We get the feeling watching Blackmon each night that this little run he has going on could last all year long. Sure, he’ll slump like every hitter does. His BABIP isn’t going to remain a sterling .391 all season – congratulations to you numbers guys for your ‘out on a limb’ proclamation there.

But the Rockies have a good lineup. And they play in Coors Field half the time. If you have a mind like a steal-trap, you might remember what we said about Coors Field and it’s effect on a Rockies hitter every so often back in our 2014 Rockies Team preview:

Anyone here watch WWE wrestling? You know how Vince McMahon can kind of just create a star out of whoever he wants? That’s kind of what Coors Field does for certain offensive players seemingly with it’s imaginary hand.

[talks about Rockies hitters, doesn’t mention Blackmon]

But one of these guys we aren’t talking about will see their numbers jump exponentially. One of these guys is going to be a waiver pick-up in your fantasy league, and they’re going to help a league-mate in a big way.

And wouldn’t you know, that 2014 and Coors Field has chosen Charlie Blackmon. He’s going to do this all year long barring an injury. He’s going to be the little turd that’s been polished into one of the top players in fantasy baseball.

But enough of the touting – lets get to the nickname. We play in a fantasy league with a colorful character who remarked last year that ‘he was always finding the next great porn star off the waiver wire while the rest of us in the league were always finding washed-up crackwhores’. Didn’t he put it nicely?

This has led us to embrace it to a degree and give Charlie Blackmon the name that best fits him. Charlie Blackmon will from now on be known as ‘The Aging Porn Star’. That’s right folks. He’s got a few more feature films left in him in 2014 before he turns to interracial and once he gives that up he’ll never be heard from again. The year 2014 is Charlie Blackmon’s one shot at the title. You take one look at him and you know he’s not built for a 10-year career. You know he’s not going to go down as a Rockies great. His star will burn bright and it will burn quick but then he’ll be into obscurity and never heard from again. He’s got the shelf-life of a porn star, and thus the greatest nickname he’s ever been given.

With him and Big Cuban Stud Jose Abreu, my fantasy team will remain near the top once again.

And to Hell with those shrimp dicks like Tristan H. Cockroft leaving our Aging Pornstar off their Top-250 list for the rest of the year. Come play in a league with me Tristan. Not like we expect someone from ESPN to know anything about an aging Porn Star who is west of the eastern time zone anyways.

Meet A.J. Pollock, baseball’s biggest Doofus

Screen Shot 2014-04-06 at 10.41.15 AM

So 99.9% percent of the time you turn on a television and you see guys who are supremely talented, coordinated, and gifted. That other 0.01%? Well that’s A.J. Pollock.

Pollock first caught my attention because I was the lucky winner of his services for $1 in a deep Ottoneu auction league. I figured he could be depended upon to play against left-handed pitching. He’s in an underrated lineup, and he’ll get regular at-bats; I thought to myself.

Well Pollock has started the season hitting .156, commonly missing 88 MPH left-handed fastballs down the middle of the plate. He’s just all forms of awful and I wonder what a talent evaluator saw in the guy. I can’t help it.

He’s pictured here in last night’s game – of course he volleyed a ball hit by Nolan Arenado over the fence for a home run. Pollock can’t just get out of his own way.

You watch a guy like Mike Trout for a couple of innings and then you change the channel to the A.J. Pollock show and you’re left wondering whether or not it’s the same league.

Pollock will probably be teaching 8th grade Earth Science in his hometown in two years.

Colorado Rockies 2014 Team Preview


At the beginning of last year’s Rockies preview post you were forewarned that there wouldn’t be a surplus of Rockies’ posts on this blog during the season. We told you to enjoy it. We said this for a few reasons. The Rockies have some nice players, but they don’t contain a generational talent on the roster. That’s one way to get us writing about you. We also cover the ‘hot’ teams in baseball more often, the teams that intrigue us are the teams that are going to promote to to click around and read about them. The Rockies in their current state, fail to do that. Unless the Rockies surprisingly springboard into contention in 2014 – it’s going to be another year thin on Rockies posts. But that’s okay, because it’s only March and we’re a third of the way to our total Rockies posts for 2013 with this one.

The Rockies made a couple of trades and quiet signings of some veterans this off-season.

Major Off-season Moves:

  • Signed RHP LaTroy Hawkins to a one-year, $2.5 million dollar contract.
  • Traded Dexter Fowler to Houston for RHP Jordan Lyles and outfielder Brandon Barnes.
  • Traded for LHP Drew Pomeranz to Oakland for LHP Brett Anderson.
  • Signed First Baseman Justin Morneau to a two-year, $12.5-million dollar contract.

Their manager is Walt Weiss, who went 74-88 in his debut season. This was good enough for last place in the NL West. Last year was somewhat of a milestone year for the Rockies, but only because it was their 20th year in baseball. It’s gone by fast. It also marked their 18th season at that gem Coors Field – which we somehow consider to be a shiny new park.

The Rockies struggled in interleague play going just 5-15 last season. They boasted a winning record against divisional foes San Diego (12-7) and division winner Los Angeles (10-9). Last season featured the debuts of Nolan Arenado and Corey Dickerson. It’s hard to say if either of these guys will be iconic Rockies at this point, but 2014 should hold a slightly better fate for Colorado. One thing is for sure: when your team visits Coors Field at any point in the spring or summer, you know there’s a chance that some crooked numbers are going to get hung on the scoreboard on both sides. That always makes the Rockies a compelling watch and reason enough to leave the game on if you’re cycling through what’s available on

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Game 58, 2013: Reds 3, Rockies 0

Jay Bruce HR 9

[Box Score]

It was one of my favorite Cincinnati games of the entire year last night. The Reds kept things quiet for the Colorado offense, and got a big game out of Jay Bruce on a night when not a lot of other guys hit.

Bruce was in the clean-up spot in Brandon Phillips’ absence to face Tyler Chatwood. Bruce put on a clinic last night with three hits. His first one was a line drive single to right field. His second was a beautiful opposite field single on an 0-2 count with the shift on. And his third, well that was the best of all.

And you have to give Bronson Arroyo a little credit for his eight shutout innings. I didn’t think he could do that to a lineup like Colorado’s in a ballpark like Great American. He’s more solid than anyone; myself included, gives him credit for.

I was so content with the way the Reds played last night – a quick, clean ballgame – that I listened to the 700 WLW postgame while walking my dog around the neighborhood late night.

As it so often is, Aroldis Chapman striking out the side in the ninth inning was the perfect cherry on top of a crisp, clean ballgame.

Look at this absolute moonshot from Jay Bruce, his 9th home run of the year. Ths kind of put the game away.

It’s just now summer, and the Reds are starting to treat their fans to nice things.

Rank Relief: The one where Heath Bell actually gets a win

rank relief4 4.21
Wilton Lopez scratches his shoulder when he gives up game winning runs

The Rockies have been one of the surprises of the season so far and we still aren’t quite sure how they’re doing it.  But whatever it is, today they did not do it.  Wilton Lopez entered into the 9th looking to collect the save for the Rockies with them only up one run.  They were at Colorado so I guess we should have known a 4-3 final score was too low.  This is what Wilton did with his time on the bump:

rank relief3 4.21

These are probably the least sexy ways to give up the tying and go-ahead runs, but they still count.  The tally:  3 hits and 2 runs.  As stated in the title, the weirdest part of this is that a rank relief regular, Heath Bell, ended up backing into a win.  Good for him.  We’ll be seeing him soon I’m sure.

Colorado Rockies 2013 Team Preview


Barring something unforeseen taking place, the Colorado Rockies won’t get a ton of posts on this blog this season. Please enjoy this one.

The reason I don’t think the Rockies are due for a lot of run-time is because they have a pitching staff with flies circling it, and a lineup that is in dire need of another true threat.

The Rockies have a double edged sword in the way of a ballpark. They can dress a few Joe Random’s up and generate decent stats if the guy has an ounce of talent with the bat. But Coors Field; with all it’s beauty, does no favors to help an organization build a pitching staff. I’m of the belief that talented arms enter the Rockies rotation each year and slowly have their confidence chipped away because of the home park they make roughly half their starts in. I know the Rockies have had a few good runs, but it’s hard to ever sustain consistency without anything solid in the starting staff each year.

I guess at least Walt Weiss is the manager. Anyone remember how much Peter Gammons used to wash Walt Weiss’ balls on the old school Baseball Tonight? He loved the guy. He used to waste air-time to tell us Walt Weiss had cabbage stew for lunch and then went 2 for 4, like that somehow correlated to Walt Weiss’ ‘huge’ offensive output. I don’t know, he has to be better then Jim Tracy. Tracy was a nice guy I’m told from several friends that have spent time with the man and I always tried to have his back on a count of that. It’s just that, most baseball people thought he was a horrible manager.

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We Are All Todd Helton


This past week Todd Helton got picked up for DUI while buying a couple lottery tickets. While we in no way condone driving under the influence (at least since our early twenties), what more could a Major Leaguer do to prove he’s just like the rest of us?

Helton has accrued over $150 million in career earnings. We find it amusing that he crushed 8 or 10 Coors–you know it had to be Coors Original–and then headed to the local Citgo to buy himself a few scratch off’s. He was probably using the beer bottle top as his lucky scratcher.

The only thing Helton could have done to prove he was more like the everyman was buy a few of those condement station “chalupas” that twist all night on the turner in the middle of the gas station.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

Bryce Harper’s Coors Field Blast Grants Fans Bonus Baseball

Harper’s 8th career home run off Rafael Betancourt in the top of the 9th inning.

I knew Bryce Harper couldn’t get out of town without dialing one long distance in Colorado. He waited until his final at-bat in the four game series to put another notch in his belt. This one tied the game at 10-10 off Rockies closer Rafael Betancourt. The Rockies escaped with an 11-10 victory in 10 innings.

It was almost 100 degrees in Colorado. Factor in the altitude; do you think that everyone was happy to see Harper serve one off the AT&T sign in the back of the Rockies bullpen and silently announce that more baseball was to be played?

Jamie Moyer took the senior citizen flight out of Cincinnati on Jay Bruce Day

Before the game began today, we told you to expect a Jay Bruce bomb and a Reds win.

Bruce took a hanging Jamie Moyer pitch into the seats in the right field Sun Deck for a bomb, giving the Reds a 2-1 lead. The first place buzzsaw continued to do their thing, winning by a final of 7-5.

Another Jay Bruce day has come and gone, and the Reds remain undefeated on this day. Jay Bruce remains like Babe Ruth on May 27th, and for another night; all is right with the baseball world.

Five years in the Show, 111 career big league bombs. We remember about every one of them.

VIDEO: Giancarlo Stanton Vandalizes his Home Stadium & Jamie Moyer with a Granny Bomb

When you’re getting ESPN alert text messages to let you know that ‘ESPN MLB – Giancarlo Stanton hit HR of LF video board knocking off portion of digital display at Marlins Park’ (I actually got the text twice, for some reason) you know it’s a bomb you better get to a computer and see somehow.

Giancarlo didn’t disappoint, taking old man Moyer’s pitch to Biscayne Bay on this full count offering.

Moyer has now pitched in 50 big league stadiums. I can guarantee you he’s never seen a swing destroy things like that in any of them.

As for Stanton, love this guy. He’s obviously playing on a bad wheel and it doesn’t matter. He’s just that good. Mammoth power down in Vice City where he fits right in. What a time to live and die in Miami.