Did you hear that paw? That’s right. Those So-Cal faggots came rolling into town from that ‘soon to be part of the ocean’ city out west and I showed them a little somethin’ about Cowboys in the Midwest.
I got a piece of all their asses. I fucked Manny. I fucked Kemp. I fucked Casey Blake. I fucked Furcal. I fucked Ethier, twice.
Did someone say these guys were going to go to the World Series? Maybe the World Series of licking my asshole……while my feet are propped on a piano.
I wanna scalp Tommy Lasorda’s pretty little silver-haired head with my buckskin knife. I wanna use Kirk Gibson’s mouth as my toilet. I wanna bang Fernando Valenzuela’s pretty little seniorita daughter so hard that she sings a cantada. I just took Dodger history and pissed all over it for 8 innings baby. The Homer Bailey Express is the truth. It is both the question, and the answer.
Do you know how moist it makes a woman to walk out to the mound in the 8th fuckin frame after throwing 98 missiles; and get the best hitter out with two guys on? There was pussy waiting for me in a Longaberger basket when I got back to the lockerroom after the game. That’s right doggy.
It’s Homer’s time! And Homer’s going to relish in the glory! Now bend over, you cheap thrill. FIYYYYYAHHHHHHHHHHH!