Pat Burrell Retires–The Internet will have just a few less dirty stories now

Pat Burrell is expected to formally announce that he is retiring any day now, effectively stealing some news during Super Bowl week. He hardly leaves the game empty handed. Two world series rings, 292 career big league home runs, and he was a career .834 OPS guy.

Then there’s the stories. If we’ve heard some of them there’s a good chance there’s a bunch we haven’t heard.

Pat definitely always reminded us of that jock ballplayer who never quite outgrew the huge status he received at University of Miami. He was the high man on the totem pole there, probably pissing on freshman in the showers and bullying his way to the sack lunches of his choosing. In the minor leagues we heard tales of him casually throwing pennies at Jewish teammates as they sat in their locker. When he got to the big leagues and arrived in Philly, he was the king of the jungle. Any woman he wanted he helped himself to. And probably a few that he knew he shouldn’t have had anything to do with after the fact.

What would baseball be without guys like Pat ‘The Bat’? A career gone by too quickly to say the least.