I wrote about this over at 7th inning stache, but I’ll go into it again. If you’re thinking of buying MLB2k10 when it comes out on March 3rd for the XBOX 360; you’re playing with a loaded gun. If you own a Playstation 3 and you’re considering it, you need committed.
The shitheads at 2k Sports are doing everything they can to get you to buy this horse shit video game. This includes offering a million dollars (yes a real, tangible $1,000,000) to the first guy who can throw a perfect game. You know some little widget head is going to stay up all night long and beat you to the punch anyway. It’s a cool concept, it gives them the chance to call it “The Perfect Game” in advertising (even though they know it’s flawed as fuck); but it’s really not an added reason to buy the game.
I’m an avid baseball gamer. I like video games, and when it comes to baseball video games I’m especially a sucker. I’ve played them all through the years. It started with the RBI Baseball series and it led into Tony LaRussa baseball (so underrated, folks). That led into Hardball 5 for the computer which cost me countless opportunities with girls in high school because I spent skipped my freshman homecoming dances to stay home and take the Indians to the World Series.
I’m that asshole that sits and plays out the string of 162, just like in real life. I’m that loser that makes all the legit trades as they are in real life. When we call up Chris Burke midseason instead of the budding young prospect, I can’t help myself. Chris Burke’s polygonal twin on the game gets called up at that point in my season if I’m playing with the Reds. And I suffer through him hitting .128 because I like being ‘authentic’.
I want my game to be as close to the real thing as possible. I want to smell the pine tar when I fire up the game. Really, I realize that’s not possible. But is it too much to ask to get a game that plays like real baseball without all the glaring glitches?
I swore last spring at this time when I was cursing the game out loud late into the night that I’d never buy it again. I gritted my teeth as my roomate called me silly for cussing a video game. What he didn’t understand is that I was in a jam in one inning after the next, losing games 23-4 because my fucking first baseman kept pulling his foot off the bag. I adjusted the sliders, which sucked. It was either a case of blowing out the computer or getting my ass kicked every game. I’d either hit 8 homers, including one to every field with Joey Votto or I’d scratch across 3 hits on zero runs. There was no balance. It played like shit.
I thought I was crazy until I gave up on the game and had a friend over who decided to try his hand on it. Sure enough, I laid on the couch and watched his exercise in futility. He cussed the game and gritted his teeth in the same manner that I did. He called it the worst baseball game of all time. We make fun of the horse shit things that happened in it to this day. Even my friend, who owns no gaming system is warning me about making that wasted purchase again this year and throwing my money away on another broken title by 2k Sports.
And you know what, I’m fucked in the head.
I’m fucked in the head because I find myself searching for early reviews that this game won’t be bullshit again. I talk myself out of the fact that their are rumors of serious, glaring problems in this game once again before it’s even released. There’s going to be some serious glitches people. There are going to be things that happen that will make your jaw drop and make you want to kick your pets. The fly balls that your outfielder runs away from, the base-running errors that will not stop, or needing a fourth strike to record an out. There will be death, taxes, and 2K Sports fucking up royally. Mark my words, it is a given.
And somehow I know myself well enough that I realize it’s a lost cause. I’ll go out March 3rd behind everyone’s back and I’ll sell-out. I’ll stay up until the wee hours that night suffering through the painful experience of 9 innings. I’ll watch players sink into the ground in the field of play and guys disappearing off the roster once they’re forced to be moved to the DL at a mind-numbing pace.
It’s all because I love the game of baseball and I’ll always hold out hope that I can have a baseball game where I can have Brandon Phillips chase the triple crown and I can take Dusty Baker and go win the World Series, with me at the helm billing myself as the Championship GM that I know I am.
Plus when you own a 360, there are not many alternatives. In fact, there’s none for baseball. By this time of year, I’m really tired of playing Madden NFL 10 and NHL 10. I’ve won the Lombardi Trophy. I’ve won the Stanley Cup. I’m ready for a new challenge. How about the challenge of the infielder not only booting a ground ball; but subsequently chasing the fucker around like a chicken while the computer rounds the bases for an inside-the-infield home run!
I’m screwed. I already know it, and I’m screwed.