ARRGHHHHHAAAAHHHHH! GIAMBLES!

This one’s for my buddy Justin – my friend who served as the best man in my wedding. My friend who; inevitably every year calls me during my workday to tell me that ‘the Indians are going to the World Series this year’ when they’re hot, and doesn’t watch them because he’s in his deer stand or some shit when they’re losing.

This is the same friend of mine who dead serious walked out of Cleveland Browns Stadium crying in his beer feeling sorry for himself mumbling about how “his football team sucks (Browns), his baseball team sucks (Indians), and his driver (Dale Jr.) sucks”. He thought the world owed him a pat on the back after the Browns screwed up a fake field goal that made all of our heads spin.

Last time I was at a baseball game with him, I was calling Giambi old and telling everyone about his old man balls. Justin took it serious and started getting hot under the collar about it. He’s sensitive about criticism to his Indians. For some reason, he loves Giambi – I assume because he does not realize you cannot build long-term around a player like Jason Giambi. It’s alright. We will let him have his dream for now. A pitch or two on that day, Giambi hit a monster home run off the hitter’s backdrop in Cincinnati and Justin began to gloat like he was Giambi’s nephew. He rubbed it in my face until Joey Votto hit a walk-off home run that day, and then Justin did not talk for the two hour car ride home.

But tonight, Justin is surprisingly nowhere to be heard from. This is mildly concerning because; normally I would have received nothing short of a dozen texts or voxers from Justin until I responded back with “your Indians are good” or “Giambi is a star” text back to him that met his approval. It would allow him to sleep soundly while still having his dream. He’s probably shooting his bow at fake deer or killing something.

Because tonight, Giambi became the oldest player in baseball history to hit a walk-off home run (42 years, 202 days), breaking the previous record held by Hank Aaron. The Indians beat the White Sox 3-2, in the bottom of the ninth.

Justin if you’re out there, I’m happy for you and your old man balls favorite player Giambles. I’m just happy you’re still interested in baseball season in nearly August and not already calling me up telling me how good the Buckeyes are going to be this year (he’s had them winning the national title for the past twenty years, you are not allowed to present argument).

UPDATE (11:06 AM ET) (He’s Fine):

LOL, look at those cocky responses. This is perfect.