In life we’re fairly certain of only a few things. You will pay taxes, you will get sick at some point and eventually you will die. You can add to that list Jay Bruce becoming a fucking stud of a ballplayer. Nothing else is guarunteed.
Now there is one thing at this point in time that can really mess all that up. Injuries.
The only thing that can derail this guy’s path to superstardom and saving our city would be some freak injury. We are scared to death of it happening. We know that when we anoint a player as the savior, we’re most likely screwing him for life. It’s happened before.
Just think back to 2003 when Austin Kearns was driving in runs at a Manny Ramirez-like pace, hitting everything in site to all fields. A few weeks after we’d really started to warm to Kearns, Ray King and him were involved in a home plate collision in Cincinnati. He went from sure superstar to a guy who never reaches his huge potential and eventually was traded away for role players, which he now basically is himself.
You wanna see us lose zest for the game in a hurry? If Bruce gets hurt, this blog will become a daily venting of how fucked up the world and the sport is. We’ve often thought that maybe we should keep our mouth shut. Maybe we shouldn’t proclaim that Jay Bruce is the savior of Cincinnati baseball. But what fun would that be. We’ve waited a long time to have something to be excited about in the Queen City and now we finally have that crown jewel.
Baseball Gods, we’re asking nicely because we know you know that we believe in you. Please don’t fuck us like this. Not this season, not any season. We’re not asking for anything monumental like a playoff appearance. Just don’t take our life away. Guys developing cysts that could ruin their potential Hall of Fame careers scares the hell out of us. We’re very happy that King Dusty is getting Brucey out of games quickly this spring. It’s a marathon not a sprint. It’s lucky that Dusty doesn’t treat his position players like his young arms.
So please watch over #32 in this coming season. Keep him safe and healthy and strong. This blog and this fan’s interest depends on it.