Gents Live Final I is won by the only absentee Gent

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There was no milk or Diet Mountain Dew showering. There was no pretty ladies or white horses. No one here left with the grand prize in DFS.

In Gents Live I: The Final Frontier, t3bird04 took home first place from his nest/safe haven. He was in first by 8:00 and in bed by 9:00 PM. No other gents could have a say.

It was a low scoring night in Gents, seeing just two reach over the 100-point plateau. It’s worth noting that four gents used Madison Bumgarner against the Padres at Petco which looked like a safe play at 1100 dollars. Of course, any time anything that appears to make sense to the majority appears; you can count on that turning into a burning bag of shit. Madison is the gents game turd because he didn’t top 20 points.

A good time was had by all gents (I think) and we stayed up until the wee hours of the night to watch our hopes be dashed by the likes of stacks fallen short, James Paxton, and Marcus Stroman in our other contest entries.

The yearly standings tightened up a bit with the Family Man of DFS taking home the five point platinum performance, and there’s yet another repositioning of our 3rd and 4th place contestants. Which is basically like; saying you’re one of the best chefs at Wendy’s or Subway. Swindaman remains in the toilet and hopes to climb out by the time he turns 30 on August the 6th.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 58 points
t3bird04 – 56 points
Diamondhoggers – 44 points
Jsquad34 – 43 points
Swindaman3 – 37 points

Here’s a copy of our winning lineup this week, sponsored by Jiffy Lube and Destination Donuts.

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So what will happen in the Gentleman’s Game this Friday? We will all be safely nestled in the comforts of our own homes, so you can expect higher scores. I predict the median/mean/whatever score will 95.5 but I am only 64% sure of this. I do predict that we bring whores to the gents game, because it has become a badge of honor. It has become etiquette to do as such. I predict that Swindaman3 will take a monstrous dump while he fills out his Gents lineup. I predict that JSquad34 will say his lineup is a loser no later than 3:00 PM. I predict DStars45 comes in one of the top two spots. I predict I either get first or last. I predict t3bird will help his wife make dinner, push his kids on the swings, and still have a very respectable showing despite devoting his time to more meaningful activities.

But these predictions could all go by the wayside. They are just one man’s thoughts on the battlefield of greatness. This greatness is the Gentleman’s game. Only the strong survive. Stay tuned for the announcement of ‘Gents Live II: The Redemption’. We will decide on a venue and a date and go from there.