DStars45 won with dignity and class this past Friday night. It is he who braved the dangerous waters and made an offering to the biggest whore on the board on any Friday night this year, $4,000 Junior Guerra.
Guerra did indeed put out to the tune of 23.1 DraftKings points, throwing six innings of shutout ball against the shit Padres and combined forces with Chris Sale, Joe Panik, and Bryce Harper to give DStars the win and five more points on his yearly lead that is quickly starting to slip away from the rest of us.
Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 27 points
t3bird04 – 23 points
Jsquad34 – 20 points
Swindaman3 – 18 points
Diamondhoggers – 17 points
Rather than bogging down the column with “My lineup scored 41 points and almost topped Swindy’s toilet lineup from a few weeks ago by becoming the lowest scoring gents lineup of all-time” we will pivot and go in a different direction with today’s column.
Each week, we will make a short list of “Fantasy Players to Kill”. These are the guys who are absolutely destroying you in your yearly leagues, or that guy we pony up $5,000 for each Friday on Draftkings only to skunk us with zero points. Coors Field Yoenis Cespedes can certainly suck a big one. Here’s the list for right now:
Now for the DFS fuck-sticks du’jour:
Alright, that about clears things up for this week. Let’s take a look at DStars45’s winning lineup, which he was nice enough to file from his relaxing vacation condominium in the Florida panhandle. He gets brownie points in my book for using Catcher/Punt Play Tommy Joseph who was once the lead drummer for Skid Row:
So……….. what will happen when we show up to the cocktail party next week?
Which players will be noticed for their incompetence at what they’re paid handsomely to do? Can any whore lift her skirt higher for a cheaper price than Junior Guerra? It’s becoming a very cool thing to do to find the best whore each Friday night; while t3bird04 continues to do the smart thing and bring his wife, Chris Sale. And don’t forget, Poop Meteorolgist Swindaman3; master of the morning toilet lineup, is now doing battle with ME for the futility spot in the DFS Gentleman’s Game standings. Which one of us can succeed in building a 19 point lineup? I looked like I had a great shot until Joe Panik got going.
As always, you must stay tuned in to find out. It is the Gentleman’s Game which is the highest honor in DFS. It is not for the weak at heart or mind.
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