Notice anything new about the scores? This past Friday we welcomed in our first celebrity guest to the Gentleman’s Cup Game – Fantasy Alarm and Sirius Radio’s Jeff Mans. If you listen to him on the drive home during the week, and you like daily fantasy and you’re a baseball guy; you probably like him. He’s a speaker of the truth, a real beacon in this dark world and we were pleased to have him as guest in our contest of sharks. He even followed etiquette by bringing a well-dressed whore to the event! Gio Gonzalez, come on down! I like it. I like it a lot. The only gent who brought Gio as a date on Friday night was Mr. Mans, and it was a good enough move to get him into fourth, leaving two embarrassed gents with their pants down at nights end.
It is very tough to write this post, as I could not overcome the Gentleman’s Game turd Aaron Sanchez and his -3.45 on Friday night. Taking a zero from cheap Carlos Gonzalez and getting just 6.7 from Adam Wainwright in San Diego were what made me horrible; aside from Sanchez. It’s sad because this lineup seems to flow as I constructed it. I really liked everything I was able to do; felt like Miguel Sano was a lock against Gio Gonzalez and he did end up homering in the game. Too much, too little, and brutal week for me. I am embarrassed and will be better. Maybe. I don’t know, probably not. This DFS shit is a rubix cube. If I put this much effort and thought into anything else in my life, I would have been a fucking alchemist. My family would eat fine steaks each night and my wife wouldn’t tell me to stop going to Wholefoods for lunch because we would be rich from all my knowledge. I can’t remember my parents birthdays yet I can tell you what Barry Larkin hit in 1993 (.315) in less than a second. That said, I truly suck at this shit, and it’s really sad for me.
Lets talk about what went right for the Gentleman though. Our own t3bird handled himself like a seasoned pro, chalking up 141.3 points. He took advantage of a decent night at Coors field, being the only person to use Adrian Gonzalez, Joc Pederson, and one of two in the contest to use Corey Seager. Combine that with Aaron Nola and Jose Quintana’s nights and you’ve got yourself a lineup that will play anywhere. Great job by the bird man, taking home five points and entrenching himself in the second position as we start to enter the meat of the season.
Swindaman3 gets style points for using Andrew Cashner for the win at PETCO, Freddy Galvis and Christian Yelich. He was one of two gentleman to use the Gents Game MVP of the week, Mookie Betts. I was watching the Astros Friday evening and every time I looked up, Mookie was knocking scoreboard panels out of that cute little wall in front of the Crawford boxes in left field. He has been a man on fire lately. The man formerly known as Swindaman3 also went Wainwright with me; it should have worked but did not.
The champ himself, DStars45 also went Mookie Betts and Corey Seager, excellent ideas totaling over 50 points. The problem for him was he had the Aaron Sanchez card in play, and Sanchez as we mentioned pitched like an asshole. I guess the reality is Sanchez is a shiny new toy but about every third start he’s going to burn the shit out of people. Watch and see if I’m not right about that. DStars usage of Jose Quintana was good enough to pull him into a respectable third and keep him well atop the Gents Game standings. We had no luck at reaching his wife to hack his lineup.
Ah, Jsquad34. Well, I am glad you didn’t do better than you did or otherwise I would be in the basement. Thank you for being such a good friend. You used Mike Moustakas which was an awesome move, yielding you 28 points that no one else got. You used Aaron Nola – another very good move. But you had that bastard Sanchez like a few of us good men. You rode the Goldy and Puig train straight to Hell with me my brother. Next week will be better for us. I know you and I were the only ones truly upset about the death of Prince and Chyna on Thursday. Well, truth be told; I was probably the only one who cared about Chyna of the group. First woman to win the intercontinental title, you know?
Let’s take a look at how things sit after four contests. I’m averaging like 2.5 points per showing. Less than that, actually.
DStars45 – 16 points
t3bird04 – 14 points
Swindaman3 – 12 points
Diamondhoggers – 10 points
Jsquad34 – 9 points
And as always, a copy of our winner. Our own t3bird’s brilliance at work – though he admitted to us he made the lineup in traffic which I do for everything in DFS except the Gentleman’s Game. You cannot shame on him this time, though. Not because he scored so well but he obviously did not rear end anyone which I am close to doing each night on Sawmill Parkway when I drive home.
So…….. I don’t have to ask what will happen next week because it’s becoming quite clear how this is going! I’m going to seemingly pick a bunch of guys in can’t miss match ups, and it’s going to be like the hand of death has touched these players. They will curl up like scabbed Lepers and turn to shit for a night. It is almost amazing to me. E-mail me if you want to ruin a player’s Friday night, and suggest a player to me. I can only fit one per position, obviously. But the good news is we can ruin two pitchers and three outfielders. Who wants to get back at David Ortiz? If you aren’t a Bryce Harper fan, I could certainly make him go 0 for 4 too.
Aside from that – we’ll see t3bird and Dstars do mostly fine. Swindaman3 maybe as well if he gets on the shitter early Friday morning. Myself and the JSquad will be fighting over the bones of the turkey.
If no one objects we will try to line up another DFS pro to come in and kick our asses like we are their snot nosed nephews.
But lets not let all that put any damper on our wonderful contest. I look forward to it each week, and in some small way; this column. I know there are thousands out there following the trials and tribulations of these five great men, and living in suspense each week to know how we fared. For them, I press onward.