Swindaman3 Takes down the Week Three Gentleman’s Game

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I have to apologize as this post usually comes on a Saturday, but Swindaman3 won this week; and as is customary I will never wake up the morning after losing to one of his lineups he set on the toilet at his work and voluntarily waste my 30 minutes of leisure time to write about his big triumphant victory.

The fact of the matter is – Swindaman won the week three Gentleman’s game with a fine score of 136.05, and he didn’t even use Chris Sale. In fact, the fun fact of the Gentleman’s game this week is that the top two Gents did not use Sale and his 46+ points in his hometown area of Tampa. Swindaman3 rolled with Jake Odorizzi, who only decided to throw decently because I left him on my bench in my yearly leagues. The ‘swing’ move of the week and Gentleman’s game MVP was Matty Holliday. He homered twice against the Reds and tallied 36 points. In a stroke of economist brilliance, Swindaman3 was the only gent to roll out The Undertaker Matt Holliday in this week’s gentleman’s duel.

He also had Josh Harrison for some reason; who lucked his way into 16 points. Jason Castro was a great punt play as he stole a bag and had 11 valuable points. Surplus value for my man Swindaman3 here on his way to the huge cash prize for the week and the full FIVE points!

Our champion and current standings leader DStars45 got 37 huge points from that little Kike Hernandez to pull him into second later in the night. He now holds a commanding lead in the yearly standings.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 13 points
t3bird04 – 9 points
Diamondhoggers – 8 points
Swindaman3 – 8 points
Jsquad34 – 7 points

I want to note that I got 46+ and 28+ from my two pitchers; Sale and Joe Ross. Then Carlos Correa and Mike Trout gave me two points a piece, and Craig Gentry, Buster Posey, and Ryan Goins all zeroed on the night. This is complete horse shit, and these men have now been blacklisted from my future Gentleman’s Game Cocktail Party Guests Lists.

Here is a look at whom Swindaman3 invited in route to the victory:
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A few notes on this week’s gentleman’s game:

  • In a cunning move of bravery, JSquad34 rolled out three Giants against Clayton Kershaw: Posey, Matt Duffy, and Hunter Pence. It didn’t work out .
  • Our own t3bird got zeroes from Emannuel Burris (who was not a prophet on this night), Francisco Cervelli, Stephen Piscotty, and Coco Crisp. Like a bad bug at the office, there were a lot of the zero-flu flying around Friday evening.
  • The only gent to use Bryce Harper on his homer binge was DStars45, and he tallied 24 points.

Next week will be a very important week for us Gentleman. We must collectively pull together to overthrow the runaway rebel force that is DStars45. This has gone on long enough. We need to do well enough that he gets a measly one or two in points, and we all need to get back in this. We must phone his wife and ask her to secretly steal his phone at their Friday evening dinner and enter the likes of Chris Collabello and Danny Espinosa, with bonus points going to her if they are not in the lineup! We must hope this man loses his mind, and we reap all the benefits!

So………. what will happen next week?

Will Swindaman3 defeat all with a lineup he creates in four minutes while on the shitter? Will JSquad34 dig way down deep to crawl out of the Gentleman’s Game basement? Will Diamondhoggers roll out two of the finest hitters in the game again and render them helpless like only he can do with any player? Hell, I’ve ruined Paul Goldschmidt so far! Which pitching whore will be cordially invited for the first time to the cocktail party? Can we reach Mrs. DStars45 in the coming week to get her help to poison the righteous king? It may be our only hope.

You must tune in next week to find out, as we continue to write the monumental saga of the Gentleman’s Cup Series presented by Thornton’s Gas Station and our other sponsor, Cane’s Fried Chicken. Eat at Cane’s, and make sure you get the toast with your meal!