How did light hitting Ozzie Guillen hang on so long?

Growing up in the 80’s and early 90’s there was no fewer two Ozzie’s in baseball who coincidentally played shortstop. And neither one of them could hit a lick. And no this post is not because Ozzie Guillen is a dick. It’s just another one of those flea swatters from the 80’s that you just can’t see hanging around for 15 or 16 seasons now because the organization would find someone who could field the same and hit ten points higher. Or hit the same and pick it better.

I was surprised to learn that Ozzie Guillen actually retired a .264 hitter. I would have guessed more about the .245ish range, but .264 will do fine to make my point.

Before you go all haywire on me in the comments about how great Ozzie was with the glove, he won only one Gold Glove and it came in 1990. According to Baseball-Reference, he was worth about a win a season (15.9) over his career. Ozzie Smith–in comparison– was worth 64.6 over his career. Smith’s fielding % was .978, and Guillen’s .974, so I’ll buy the bit that Smith had all those gold gloves because of reputation. That award has long been bullshit anyways.

But make no mistake about it: Ozzie Guillen couldn’t hit his way out of a wet paper sack. He had little to no speed after 1991; and his slugging percentage (career .338) was annually parked in the .300’s for his career. He did a fairly adequate job of moving the ball; he never really struck out much but didn’t walk much either.

What I’m trying to say is that mouthy guy who is on the dugout steps for the White Sox present day was actually as Punch n’ Judy as it gets. And if he played in the league now: