Leading up to the start of the 2010 Regular Season, Diamond Hoggers will preview each of MLB’s 30 teams. Today’s team is the Chicago Cubs. Stay tuned as Diamond Hoggers will preview every team division by division until the start of the regular season.
We could go into a bunch of bullshit about how the Cubs rotation will fare. We can talk about Derek Lee and Aramis Ramirez raking like holy hell as long as they stay healthy. We could talk about Piniella and his tantrums like we do every year. But we’re not going to do that for this preview. We’re going to do something a little different. We’re going to talk about dope. And Cubs fans. And their affinity for the green.
You might remember in last year’s Cubs preview that every Cubs fan we’ve ever met had a passion for smoking pot. Have a look:
And one more thing about the Cubs that maybe you will know what we’re talking about. Have you ever noticed that the Cubs very large fan base contains every stoner who has ever walked the earth? Why is that? If a person is partial to pot, they’re most likely a Cubbies fan! Doesn’t matter their age, doesn’t matter their background. If they own a one hitter then they own a blue Cubbies hat! They might not know the players, they might still think that Jim Riggleman is the skipper, but God damnit if they don’t support the Cubs!
For instance, our high school baseball coach. Not an outright dope guy, but he was a little squirrely. Definitely tried pot in his college days. He loved the Cubs and loved Sammy! Old freshman college teammate who was a closet stoner, sure enough; he loved his Cubs. Several guys in our fraternity could give two shits about baseball but when the season rolled around they’d smoke a bowl with the Cubs game on in the background! Former roomate from the Chi, he loved his Cubs loyally. He also usually had a dime bag on him!
We decided to do a little bit of research on the subject. We experimented one day with Google, and entered the term ‘cubs fan stoner‘ into the search box. Sure enough, our appetite was satisfied.
User ‘Fallen Buddha’ writes:
If ya love nothing more than remembering smoking a fatty and listening to Jack Brickhouse’s hey hey for an Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Ron Santo, or Dave Kingman homer, or Harry Caray’s holy cow for Ryne Sandburg, Andre Dawson, or Sammy Sosa. Or if you are one who listens on the radio to Ron Santo and Pat Hughes. Tonight we took the first step to perhaps ending 99 years of futility. So Cubs fans sound off!!!!!!! GO CUBS GO!!!in cubbiedom –fb
Other fans who get in on the act are named such weed-related monikers such as ‘SativaScience‘, ‘Taxi Boy’, ‘Dino sauras‘, ‘tngreen‘, even a guy named ‘backwoodburner‘ gets in on the act:
A’s fan here…But go cubbies!
How groovy mayne! He is an A’s fan, but fuck it! Let’s all burn one down and get laughy and cheer for the Cubbies too!
We told you so. We fucking, told you so about these Cubs fans.
Do you know a Cubs fan? Chances are at one point in their life, they liked pot. If there’s a guy you know who isn’t really a baseball fan–but owns a Cubs hat–odds are around 100% he’s a midnight toker.
As for the baseball team and their 2010 fortunes. They’re not going to be very good. I think they’ll finish 4th in the division and below .500 with Piniella resigning by year’s end. They’ll try and trade Soriano, Lee, Ramirez, and a few other veteran
s in July and a massive re-build will begin.
And most of those fans won’t give two shits because they’ve got some of the finest White Widow or Northern Lights nuggets waiting for them in a sandwich bag back home that money can buy. And they’ll say ‘fuck it, let’s get out of here in the 6th inning, I can’t stop cheesing. I’ll roll the shit.’