If there’s one thing I’ve learned–Philadelphia is too colored of a city to beat us boys

I’ll tell ya sweeties, you need this game tonight. This sure is an important game tonight; Schottzie. This one would get our boys over .500 for the year.

But I’m not worried honeys. No I’m not worried. You know why? Because there’s a ton of coloreds in Philadelphia honey. Well, what? I am not saying there isn’t a few smart coloreds mixed in. But you know sweetie; that well, most coloreds aren’t very smart.

I always liked going through Philadelphia on a road trip. I had a hotel bellhop one trip there named Emanuel. He was a colored. Six feet five inches. I tell ya, he had a head full of rocks. But I guaruntee he carried a king snake in his pants sweetie. Guaruntee.

Oh and that guy pitching for the Phillies tonight. He’s been around forever sweeties. When he started pitching I was still shaving my bikini line honey.

So win one for Schottzie and me tonight sweeties. And if that dumb zephyr Encarnacion doesn’t start earning his keep, he’ll be cleaning out my ashtrays. Know what I mean sweetie?

  • HA! You have a knack for this sort of stuff.