Another Marge Schott story that will warm your heart

This story comes via a reader tip, and we’re thankful to get it because there’s a limited amount of Marge Schott stories floating around the world nowadays.

Hey, I saw you guys did a Marge Schott post back a few months ago that made me laugh my ass off. I figured I’d tell you a story about Marge. My cousin was an off duty cop from Ft. Thomas, coming back from visiting friends in Cincy. He’d seen this Caddy with its tail lights up in the air, nose down in the ditch, at 8 or 9 at night. He has no idea who Marge is (although he was a Kentucky basketball fan) and pulls over to see if he could help. He said here was this ugly old woman, cursing like a sailor, with a peculiar smell, like a dog, and the hairiest coat he had ever seen, and was trying to get out of that wrecked ass car. Drunk, fumbling around, muttering about the airport, she had to get to the airport. He offered to give her a ride, and she thanked him profusely and accepted. Said she was on her way to LA cause she had bought herself a 5 million dollar (n-word). She was talking about Eric the Red (Eric Davis). He told the story the next day to some other cops, and they pointed out he had given the famous Marge a ride to the airport. He said, “Marge? Marge who?”

We threw this story up because it’s absolutely true. We’re surprised the cop offered a ride not knowing it was Marge Schott. We’re nice people and all, but if we’re driving along the road and some old lady that looks like she belongs in a haunted house has nose-dived her caddy into a ditch, and she smells like dog; we’re letting her be.