Even for KC Royals standards, Pichardo was hideous

We know there is a reader out there who was the schlup who begged for this guy’s autograph. It’s okay. But now we want you to take that autograph and stop wasting space in your closet or home and let it be part of this week’s trash run. That is how bad this guy was. We admit to being partially surprised we could even find a picture of this mook.

We had a baseball game for our computer back in our adolescent days called Hardball 5. All-time classic baseball sim. We would always trade for Pichardo because he threw smoke on the game and he could be had for a couple run of the mill players you didn’t want to keep anyways. But he always blew a shitload of saves for our otherwise sweet team. We began to take notice of him around then, and amazingly his real-life counterpart was even worse every time he was on our television.

Pichardo’s career ERA was 4.44, and he actually vultured 50 wins in a 10-year career. But his ERA was always in the high 4’s or low 5’s except for one year towards the end of his career with the Red Sox. His swan song came in 2002 with Houston when he pitched 1/3 of an inning.

He was teammates with Hideo Nomo, Nomar Garciaparra, Brad Lidge, Johnny Damon, and George Brett (of pants shitting fame).

Hipolito Pichardo career statistics. [Baseball Reference]

  • I heard Pichardo and George Brett liked to dip and talk about double tappered shits. NOt only is he hideous as you say but a shitty friend as well.