F–k This! I’m Throwing it Down the Dick!

Think you can hit the Bailey Express motherfucker? I know you can’t hit this shit. I’m about to throw a pellet you can’t even fucking see. You know why? Because I throw 97 fuckin’ miles an hour and that’s what makes pussies wet.

Fuckin’ right doggy. Braun at the plate, 3 and 1 count. Ross wants a change-up? Fuckin’ faggot. Change-ups are for pillow-biting dick suckers. Let Tim Wakefield throw change-ups. Fuck this. I’m throwing it down the dick, and I’m throwing it as hard as I fucking can.

After you swing and miss, you’ll get another ride on the Bailey Express; bitch. And after that you’ll swing and miss again. That’ll be a K for Homer, cunt. I’m gonna do that 12 or 15 times tonight. I’m not listening to anyone. Fuck Dick Pole. His shits smell worse than a concentration camp.

I don’t give a fuck that I’m 0-6 and my ERA is nearly 8. Fuck statistics. That shit is for poindexters anyways. Poindexters that don’t rail hot looking tail that is.

I’m gonna throw it right by that Chewbacca lookin’ fuck Corey Hart. Then I’m gonna scowl at him and stare at him like a prick. Get ready to hear this fastball whistle in the wind cocksucker. I’m gonna throw this ball like it’s got the cure for AIDS attached for it. Later on tonight, I’m gonna put on nothing but my cowboy boots and my bowie knife and stroke my cock with this powerful right arm like there’s no tomorrow.