I'd just like to point out the Tigers early season bed-shitting

The Detroit Tigers were shut-out today. By the Kansas City Royals. This coming after blowing a lead and losing the game in extra-innings on Opening Day to these same Royals. Both of these afflictions have occurred at Comerica Park in Detroit. Today’s pitcher of record for the Royals? Are you ready? Brian Bannister.

Look, I know it’s early. I know the Tigers have a nice ballclub. But you can’t be doing this shit Detroit. There isn’t enough Marlboro sold in that city (according to my friend who works for Phillip Morris) to keep Jimmy Leyland calm through this.