You KNOW it smells down there

This has to be considered a somewhat off-topic post about a guy in the big league’s that has a bad two-ball count down in the zone at all times.

You ever looked at a woman and a minute after seeing her, I mean; just something about her–and you’re thinking ‘I bet she smells funky down there’. Well, last night when having a conference call with Editor George, something just gave me that thought when he told me that Eric Gagne (his closer on video game baseball) was coming into the game.

Gagne, once baseball’s most dominant reliever, now has the title of most chafing-est thighs in the game; taking the honor from Kevin Mitchell.

I mean think about it. You’re Eric Gagne’s underwear/grundle floss. There you are, sitting, soaking, sweltering for a long nine innings. Then you’re asked to go into a ballgame and get the most pivotal 3 outs of the night? I heard it once on a Right Guard commercial–Stress Stinks. On most nights the duress and pressure that Gagne faces only adds to the terrible odorous stench down south of his belly. Gagne’s a large man. There is not an abundance of space down there for cleanliness to survive. The distant cousin to large men? Ball sweat.

Gagne’s crotch is where underwear go to die. His hamper is a trash can; due to the toxic smell he doesn’t even bother trying to wash it out. He simply throws away the soiled underwear and begins anew every week with a fresh pack.

You wanted insight into the mental aspects of Diamond Hoggers. This is the kind of thing we’re always on the lookout for.