We’re officially joining this campaign. Thanks to Baseball Church for the image.
Yesterday the Pirates defeated the Reds 6 to 3, and I have to admit, as good of baseball as the Reds have been playing, I just knew they’d lose this one. I just knew they went into this game with absolutely, positively, not a snowball’s chance in hell. The reason? Simple. Eric Milton. Or as I like to call him along with my buddies who follow Redlegs baseball, “Erica” Milton.
I nearly shit myself when I got a text message that read Pittsburgh 0, Cincinnati 0, end of the 4th. I couldn’t believe this guy had enough in his arsenal to shut down a t-ball team for 4 innings, well it didn’t last. Jack Wilson homered off him and Mr. Milton gave up 10 hits and 4 runs over 5+ innings, and the Reds nice little 3 game win streak was no longer. It’s hard to believe he actually struck out 6 Pirates on the day. To those players I’d love to say, thanks, and go jump off a tall building. Not only were you just awful enough to get struck out by Erica Milton (the equivalent of being pinned in a wrestling match by a girl), but you’ll probably build a case to keep him in the rotation a while longer. Just great.
I’m sure you’ve all heard of ‘streak stoppers’ in baseball. The term is used to refer to a pitcher (ace type) that goes out, throws a great game, and ends a team’s losing streak for his ball club. A guy who can be counted on to take the ball and win, no matter how bad the team has been playing. Well, Milton is the exact opposite of that type of pitcher. No matter how great a team has been playing, he’ll go out, take the ball, and fuck things up almost instantaneously. Thanks again Erica! So glad you’re here and not Homer Bailey!