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WE JUST GOT JACK PARKMAN! (or AROLDIS CHAPMAN!)

January 10, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Just when you think the Cincinnati Reds are the cheapest franchise in MLB with the tightest ownership group in the game; they go and do something completely out of left field and unprecedented.

They sign Aroldis Chapman.

CINCINNATI — In a stunning move, the Reds have landed prized Cuban defector Aroldis Chapman, outbidding several other Major League clubs that were in the running for the left-handed pitcher.

Major League sources told MLB.com that Chapman’s deal is likely to be worth $25 million over five years, with an option for a sixth year that could push the value of the contract to $30 million. Payment would likely be spread out over several years to minimize the financial hit.

The signing is expected to be announced either Sunday night or Monday morning. Some details appear to still need finalizing, and Chapman must also take a physical.

This is absolutely huge Reds fans. The Reds add another crown jewel to their stable of already great young players, this in the form of a 22-year old left handed pitching prospect that can throw in upwards of 100 miles an hour.

This is a statement move by the Reds and an occurence of the Reds owner Bob Castellini showing that he really is committed to spending money every once in a while in an order to change the losing ways in Cincinnati.

It will be interesting to see where this catapaults the Reds in the NL Central. We would also expect that the Reds trade either Bronson Arroyo or Aaron Harang to make room for Chapman, and free up some salary space. The Reds already have a good group of arms that they can pair Chapman with to form one of the best young rotations in baseball.

Best guess at what happened: big spenders like the Yankees, Red Sox, and Blue Jays were expected to jump out and sign Chapman like they always do (so of course we weren’t even talking about the kid yet–no need to start salivating over a meal you can’t afford right?) but our guess is that when a scout from the Reds saw Chapman throw he reported back to the front office brass that this kid was as close to a “can’t miss” prospect as there is existing. Bob Castellini then probably gave the blessing to pay the money to bring the kid to Cincinnati.

We have been extremely critical of the Reds cheap habits in bringing in new players. Those days are over. This is an exceptional feeling as a fan. And who knows where it could put us in 2010 and beyond as we continue to build the nucleus of young talent.

Filed Under: Aroldis Chapman, Cincinnati Reds, Free Agency, what in the fuck

Matt Holliday returns to Cardinals

January 7, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Matt Holliday has re-signed with the St. Louis Cardinals after testing the open market. It’s of our personal opinion that Holliday, while being a pretty good right handed hitter in his prime; is kind of being over paid.

$111 million and 7 years from the organization that was worried about finding money to pay the greatest player of our era?

It also sucks for Reds fans because of the Reds could afford this proverbial big fish, he would have been the perfect fit in left field and protecting Jay Bruce and Joey Votto. Now we get to face him for another seen years and give him pitches to hit because Pujols is around him.

- Posted from my iPhone

Update: The Cardinals will be paying Holliday until 2029. How is this a good deal Cardinal fan?

Filed Under: Free Agency, Matt Holliday, St. Louis Cardinals

Jason Bay has been rolled out in Flushing

January 5, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Jason Bay is all rolled out nicely in his new threads. Our boy Craig Calcaterra recaps the press conference nicely right here.

Bay said that the Mets were on his “short list.” Why? “The chance to win.”

Really? Interesting. I guess he’s an optimist folks.

Filed Under: Free Agency, Jason Bay, New York Mets
January 5, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Andre Beltre is the new Beantown third-baseman. “Adrian Beltre has hit nearly 50 home runs in a season, plays spectacular defense and is probably good for a .270 average and 25 home runs next year. Will it be good enough to please Red Sox fans?” [Red Sox Monster]

Filed Under: dont call me Andre, Free Agency, Red Sox, short hops

Austin Kearns lives to fight another day

January 5, 2010 By Leave a Comment

You can color me as shocked on this one. The Cleveland Indians have taken a flier on the 29-year old former blue-chip prospect Austin Kearns.

Kearns was offered a 1-year minor league deal. For all intensive purposes, this is an opportunity for Kearns to come to Spring Training and prove that he’s still in big league shape and can hit fastballs and help this Indians team in some way.

In case you didn’t make the connection, aparently Indians manager Manny Acta didn’t see enough of Kearns’ .195/.336/.305 line in 80 games with the Nationals this past season. Someone has also missed the memo that Kearns is as brittle as balsa wood.

If he plays in 110 games in 2010, we’ll buy you a steak dinner.

It is obvious that Kearns is never going to reach his full potential. But we still take particular interest in him because there was a day when we thought that he would be a white Manny Ramirez. Those days are long gone.

Filed Under: Austin Kearns, Cleveland Indians, Free Agency, Manny Acta

This 2009 Off-Season is not a lively one

December 30, 2009 By Leave a Comment

I hope that you’re a football fan. Because if you’re not, you’re bored as shit waiting for baseball to come back around.

Look at the names being kicked around right now in free agency:

  • Despite preliminary talks, Olney finds a Padres extension for Adrian Gonzalez to be “very, very unlikely.”
  • The Dodgers “are in the chase” for free agent starter Joel Pineiro, with the Angels and Mets other suitors. The Dodgers were first linked to Pineiro by MLB.com’s Ken Gurnick on December 8th. With a chunk of the Juan Pierre savings already spent on Jamey Carroll, Pineiro seems out of their price range.
  • Olney guesses that Matt Holliday will ultimately sign for five years and $82.5-85MM, with options and/or incentives that could “dress it up as a deal that could be worth over $100MM.”
  • The Orioles continue to hunt for a pitcher and corner infielder. I should note that they were initially linked to Pineiro, but maybe the $9MM committed to Kevin Millwood takes them out of the mix. An Erik Bedard reunion could be a possibility.

Look at those names. There are flies circling those names. Jamey Carroll? Juan Pierre? Kevin Millwood? Not to mention the crown jewells (Jason Bay, Matt Holliday) are a couple of soon to decline outfielders on the wrong side of 30 that want paid like they’re the franchise when they’re really more complementary pieces.

It almost makes you happy that you are the fan of a moribund franchise like the Reds who wrestle over breadcrumbs like Chris Burke and Laynce Dicks. Almost.

It’s almost the new year, which means we’ve got only four more months of watching these teams shuffle deck furniture on the Titanic in preperation for the 2010 season. The lack of guys available out there makes for one dull offseason.

Filed Under: Free Agency, offseason

Laynce Dicks is back

December 28, 2009 By Leave a Comment

In case you missed it, and let’s be honest you probably did; the Cincinnati Reds have decided to bring back Laynce Nix.

Here you have a guy who is incredibly mediocre in almost every area; and serves no purpose other then to take at-bats away from guys like Chris Heisey, Chris Dickerson, Drew Stubbs and even Jay Bruce in the outfield.


If you pair that with the fact that Dusty Baker will use any excuse to plug a low OBP guy like Nix into the middle of his order on any given night; well you’re all set for a full-blown clusterfuck once the 2010 season begins.


This is the type of move that once again quietly announces the Reds preparation for extreme mediocrity again in 2010. It is a bottom feeder’s delight all year round in Cincy you see.

And if you’re wondering how he got the nickname it’s really not in all that creative of a fashion. We have a friend who said that if Nix was a pornstar, that would be his pornstar name, ‘Laynce Dicks’. He’s got that muscular frame and really it’s fairly easy to picture him in nothing but a pair of black socks in an episode of ‘I’m hunting Momma 24′ starring none other then Laynce Dicks.

Filed Under: Cincinnati Reds, Free Agency, Laynce Nix, Stink teams

Yankees bring back Nick Johnson

December 18, 2009 By Leave a Comment

The Yankees have found Johnny Damon’s replacement in the form of an old farm hand. Nick Johnson is about to sign with the Yankees for a 1-year deal worth $5.5 million dollars for next season. Johnson will fill the role of Designated Hitter for the Bombers.

The Yankees are slowly but surely getting younger and doing it by replacing veterans with slightly younger but still MLB experienced vets. As Blogging the Bombers points out:

At 31, Johnson is also four years younger than Hideki Matsui, who he is essentially replacing as the DH. Throw in the fact that Curtis Granderson is more than seven years younger than Damon, and the Yankees have gotten younger while replacing Damon and Matsui with talented players.

Do we think Nick Johnson will have a lasting impact for the Yankees? No. This is hardly the splash move we’re used to them making. But they’ve already got all the big toys in their toy box. And you have to love the pic we found of him in his first go-round with the Yanks.

Filed Under: Free Agency, Nick Johnson, Yankees
December 17, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Orioles have interest in another overpaid, bad contract. This is a surprise, kind of. Isn’t it just like the Orioles to come out of the woodwork and seemingly out of nowhere to try and pluck a guy off the free agent market who wants way too much money. What is it they love about guys who are in the back end of their prime years and want too much money? [Camden Chat]

Filed Under: Baltimore Orioles, Free Agency, Matt Holliday, short hops

Atlanta Braves sign Billy Wagner

December 2, 2009 By Leave a Comment

The Atlanta Braves have made another poor signing. Billy Wagner agreed to a 1-year deal worth $7 million dollars to factor into Atlanta’s closer role in 2010. Doesn’t it seem like Atlanta’s closer has been a revolving door for the past couple of seasons to begin with? That’s because it really has.

The Braves agreed to terms with Wagner late Wednesday only hours after they offered arbitration to free agents Rafael Soriano and Mike Gonzalez, who split the team’s closer duties in 2008 and combined for 37 saves and 192 strikeouts in 150 innings.

We’re no front office executives, but who besides Wagner himself, his agent, and a few family members think he has anything left. Sure he had a 1.72 ERA down the stretch last season in 15+ innings. Not too shabby. But how much is this guy going to give you? Is he going to be able to provide the $7 million in value to the Braves next season that they’ll write out to him? Is he going to put butts in the emptying seats at Turner Field? We’ll bet the answer to both of those questions is a resounding ‘no’.

This is one of those cases where we’re lucky our team isn’t a large market team, spending just to spend. Wagner provides no rise in value in our opinion over Gonzalez or Soriano, not at his age of 38. This isn’t your father’s Billy Wagner.

Rob Neyer offers his thoughts on what Wagner brings to the Braves.

Filed Under: Atlanta Braves, Billy Wagner, Free Agency
March 3, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Oakland gets a dandy little player. Orlando Cabrera signs a 1-year, $4 million dollar deal to play shortstop for the Athletics this season. Suddenly, with Holliday, Cabrera and Giambles the A’s don’t look so flimsy. [Athletics Nation]

Filed Under: Free Agency, Oakland A's, short hops

Griffey Jr. is an Atlanta Brave

February 17, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Ken Griffey Jr. has chosen to sign with the Atlanta Braves over the Seattle Mariners. The believed figures are around $2 million dollars for the year with escalators based on incentives and plate appearances.

As a baseball fan I wanted to see Junior return to Seattle for one last send off. I think the move made a lot more sense for the ballplayer but once the Braves entered the picture I knew this is where he’d end up. He’s just a short 1-hour plane ride from his family in Florida and the Braves will probably let Junior play Center field.

I could realistically see Junior rebound to hit 30 home runs but at the same time I could also see him hitting .250 and limping out his career here. It will be weird to see him in yet another uniform but I’m glad he isn’t retiring altogether. The game needs a few more moments from Griffey where he looks like that 23 year old who captivated the country that followed baseball. Even if it’s just for a flash or split second.

Filed Under: Atlanta Braves, Free Agency, Griffey

Bowden strikes again: Dunn signs with Nationals

February 11, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Washington Nationals fans can be rightfully excited tonight. Our dreams of Adam Dunn ever being a Red again has pretty much ended, as Dunn has agreed to a 2-year $20 million dollar deal to play in Washington alongside his hopeless first love Austin Kearns.

And for that amount, Adam should be back in Cincinnati. But the organization and many of it’s fans (who follow the Bengals in the NFL so that should tell you something about their idea of what it takes to win) couldn’t wait to dump Dunn so we could give at-bats to guys lik Jacque Jones, Daryle Ward, and Johnny Gomes. Guys who belong in the minors.

The Nationals get a hell of a player, but at the same time Dunn isn’t free from blame. Dunn wanted to break the bank. he could ahve had a 4-year deal for $40 million dollars in Cincinnati if he’d originally been prepared to accept that type of offer from us. So Adam, go play in Washington where you’ll continue to be a c-list celebrity next to your bust friend Austin Kearns. You’re damn right we’re bitter. You were foolish and your career numbers will reflect that.

We’ll say it right now: Dunn won’t achieve a 40 home run season in Washington’s big ass park in his 2 year stint there. So you sacrificed what was sure to be a HOF career in Cincinnati for a paltry contract playing for Jim Bowden. And you’re not going to be playing for a winner so your drought for at-bats in the postseason will continue.

As for Jim Bowden, for Christ sake. The guy can’t help himself. His fetish for former Reds continues.
Filed Under: Dunner, Free Agency, Jim Bowden is a hopeless doucher, Washington Nationals

Reds sign a couple fringe guys

February 5, 2009 By Leave a Comment

A week or so ago, Reds General Manager Walt Jocketty anounced that the organization at this point was looking at ‘fringe’ guys. The Reds have found their fringe guys, in every sense of the word.

The Reds have signed Daryl Ward and Jacque Jones. Both guys were absolutely terrible last season. Jones (a guy I’d always pick up off the waiver wire in fantasy baseball somehow) actually has strung together a pretty good career, but his best years are probably behind him.

Daryl Ward has never been an every day big leaguer and he’s been pretty poor for most of his career even as a part timer. Both guys are left handed hitters which really is the most puzzling part of the deal. The Reds needed a right handed stick of some type in the worst way. Now in the outfield you’re going to have Bruce, Hairston Jr., Taveras, Gomes, and either Jones or Lance Nix. Hopefully Jones is good enough in spring training (and healthy enough) to keep the abhorrent Nix off the team.

I wondered whether these two signings were even worthy of a post. But what the hell. It’s February and there is nothing going on.

Filed Under: bread crumbs, brutal fuckin' teams, Cincinnati Reds, Free Agency
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