Rich Hill’s Blister is Fucking Ridiculous

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Alright, the guy last pitched in the first week of July before he got the blister from Hell. There are people with HIV who are curing up what ails them faster than that of Rich Hill’s blister. Everything was looking great – as great as it could possibly look when you’ve missed TWO months for a blister – Hill even planned to grant the poor Dodgers (who traded for him in the midst of blister-gate) a rehab start today.

But alas, you knew it wouldn’t happen; and Hill’s blister is still blisterin’.

Rich Hill is still experiencing problems with a severe blister on his left hand. The hope is that the dry air in Arizona will help the healing process. He is scheduled to face hitters in a simulated setting on Wednesday and Thursday, then the Dodgers will try to come up with a new timetable for his L.A. debut.

The hope is THAT THE DRY AIR IN ARIZONA WILL HELP THE HEALING PROCESS! ARGGHHHHH! GAHHHH! RICH HILL ISN’T GOING TO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HIS BLISTER BECAUSE I’M GOING TO SHOOT SOMEONE OVER THE GUY BEING SUCH A COMPLETE PUSSY ABOUT THIS!

The Dodgers need him! I need him! Countless other fantasy owners need him! The dry air in Arizona – give me a break with this shit! I demand Hill get out there on the damn mound regardless of if the units on his left palm are Gangrene and give us five innings! NOW!

I don’t care how long Hill lives. I don’t care how many years go by. This is what is on his Tombstone as far as I’m concerned. I will never forget this two month blister episode. Rich if you read this some day while using your right un-blistered hand with a fancy iPad you don’t deserve, just know that you are a special case of soft. They ‘don’t make em’ like they used to’ our dads all say because of the Rich Hill’s of the world and their blister.

Wonder how many blisters Bob Gibson pitched through. Heard he used to bite them off for extra protein. The blood made his fastball just a bit quicker.

And in closing, if someone doesn’t start the blog ‘Rich Hill’s Blister’ it would be a true crime of the internet.