Jose Abreu does not need a sophisticated nick-name; Jose Abreu is ‘Big Cuban Stud’

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Why is it not difficult to imagine this guy sitting in a bubbling hot tub surrounded by about eight senoritas with a donkey-dick sized cigar hanging out of his mouth?

He’s going to hit a lot of home runs. He hit two tonight. He’s a monster. Hawk Harrelson is still yelling somewhere in Denver tonight.