So I got around to doing some thinking this past week about my 10 cent beer night post which turned into more of a Cleveland post.
It made a lot of Cleveland fans upset. It might be because it was pretty true, or it might be because of their outstanding pride towards their city. No matter. I think I might owe Cleveland fans a little something. After all, your team got swept today in Cincinnati. It’s familiar territory for you folks, but it’s likely that you’re going to fall into third place within the next week or so or as soon as Jim Leyland gets his shit together. The Indians did what they do almost every year.
Everyone A few people got lukewarm excited. Nice hot start. No one went to the park, really. And things fizzled out. There’s no reason to kick a city while they’re down.
For my post last week along with some of the hard luck that has found the Indians as of late (as in like, the past 60 years), I decided to get Cleveland fans a gift:
Get the Hell off our field, Cleveland.
Have fun trying to win a series with Kansas Shitty or the Twins or something. And thanks for the sweep! You come into Cincinnati and start a couple of turds like Derek Lowe and Josh Tomlin and think that you’re going to get past a team primed for the playoffs like the Reds?
What are you going to do when Asdrubal Cabrera and .225 Carlos Santana leave town and sign a contract with a real team? Then who will you have? Tomlin, Jason Kipnis until he can leave town and Lou Marson? Good Lord, people. I can’t even make fun of you for not buying into the Indians and never showing up to the park (even though that’s what the ‘best fans in America’ do).
Hey, but don’t worry! July is almost here! Browns training camp baby! Then you can listen to Mike Holmgren feed you lies; or the GM of the month that he hires can talk up your quarterback of the future while Holmgren buys expensive pistrami sandwiches on your dollars. It’s always the Browns year! The Indians can only make you miserable for a while longer. Like, the rest of your life following baseball. I honestly am going to laugh until I puke when that 30-something year old hick quarterback from Oklahoma State craps out like every other Browns signal-caller and the Browns are back at the drawing board, lying to you once again.
Then there’s the Cavs. Shit they’re not even worth the keystrokes. Have they been moved to Hartford yet?
Honestly, do what anyone sensible would do and choose a new city to watch. Who cares where the team is from. Cleveland is so shitty and screwed, I debated for a whole ten seconds whether to make this post or not when I knew we were going to sweep you.
Cleveland: you just been served. Now broom it.