GAH! Someone do something and get this keyboard away from me.
I am not one of those fans. I am not “with you when you lose”. It is not “just a game”. I cannot say “get them tomorrow”. I do not think it is “just one game”. Or “it’s a long season”.
I hate this team. I hate all 25 of them. Every last one of them. I’ll give you a reason that I hate them all, just give me time!
I hate Volquez the most of this bunch; and I hate that I have to look to spell his first name right. He’s not worth it by the way, and if you were one of the clueless army who said that trading Josh Hamilton for him was a good move I would like to point out again that you
Over-reacting? You think so? Did you know that Drew Stubbs has 76 K’s in last 45 games and 189 AB’s? I’m sick of watching Stubbs bitch about calls like a little leaguer, his clueless approach at the plate and basically knowing that he’s a finished product at whatever age he’s at. Guy went to Texas, has all the tools and guess what? That doesn’t mean shit. He’s a .255 hitter with a little pop but strikes out enough that there isn’t a good spot for him in the lineup. Drew, quit taking fastballs down the dick and swinging at breaking balls. Where did you learn to hit like that.
Then there’s Bruce. Ah yes, Jay Bruce the All-Star. I told you that he would be hitting .250 by the All Star Break. Hell, at this rate Jay Bruce might one-up me and end up hitting .230 and make baseball history. I am so tired of the inconsistency, the clueless at-bats, the game after game of no counting stats. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE seen a guy disappear like this. I have never ever had such a helpless feeling watching a guy flail his way to failure. All-Star!?!? Guy doesn’t even believe in himself enough to get out of his slumps. It is so painfully obvious that he is screwed between the ears and that’s not something that goes away. Change of scenery is in order for Bruce because as far as I’m concerned, you’ll never win with a guy that disappears like that for months at a time in the middle of your order. Get some edge to your game, dude. Stop doubting yourself so much and maybe you’ll become a better ballplayer. You aren’t a good ballplayer right now and it’s a complete joke that you’re an All-Star.
Joey Votto. No one says a bad word about him. He’s a shitty fuckin’ leader and he gets his stats but this is what happens when Joey Votto is your leader. I don’t need numbers to support it, but the guy isn’t a leader he just wants to get paid and that means getting the Hell out of Cincinnati as soon as possible. Trust me on that one. Joey you can go ahead and go because you are basically a better-bodied Sean Casey in his prime only you aren’t as good of a leader.
I would love to see Paul Janish, Johnny Gomes, and Edgar Renteria released as soon as possible but God knows that will never happen because Dusty Baker is a stubborn prick who would rather lose with useless turds like those three than see what we have in guys like Zach Cozart, Yonder Alonso, and Todd Frazier. Or even Chris Heisey on an every night basis. Hey Dusty, stop playing Fred Lewis every night. He’s a .240 hitter with minimal pop when he’s on his game.
I cannot wait until the All-Star break so I don’t have to watch these fuckers for a few nights. I literally have never felt this level of hate for a team in my entire life. They’re a bunch of heartless, dickless, under-achieving little bitches.
I really want to hear some Cincinnati Fans rant and rave about Chris Carpenter now. He looked pretty good shutting their asses out yesterday didn’t he? I’d sure hate to have a guy who shows up to pitch like that. I’d rather run out Bronson Arroyo to get his tits lit or for crying out loud someone tell me about how good Volquez was in the first half of 2008.
Phillips and Cueto I have nothing to say about but I hate them for being part of this group. Guilt by association, I guess. If Phillips had any nuts he would close the doors and be a leader and tell guys like Bruce and Votto to grow a sack overnight but he is baseball’s version of Ocho Cinco! He is. Is he not? And he couldn’t lead if his life depended on it.
I could honestly probably hit with the amount of pop that Scott Rolen does now. And I was a shitty D3 player. I’m so glad that GM of the year Walt Jocketty went out and extended him so we’re going to be force fed his dead rotting carcass in the four hole each night. God knows Dusty will never change anything up. Just keep running them out there!
Hey Walt, have another scotch wild man! You’ve done a shitty job upgrading this roster too. Aroldis Chapman makes too much money to be a fucking 1-inning guy who is throwing in a game where we are down 8-1. Get out from under all that unproven talent you closet drunk and make a move to try and spark this team.
It sure was nice to see the one player who could have helped Jayne Bruce and Joey Votto develop a little bit (Matt Holliday is his fucking name) hit two bombs to bury us tonight. But the Reds let him go and sign with a division rival! He was the perfect player, but you didn’t go and get him because Scott Rolen and Jim Edmonds were better fits. How did that work out? We got perfect game’d for fucks sakes in the NLDS and you bring the same group back. Bruce and Stubbs are obviously the same or actually worse than last year, so it’s not going to work out.
GAHHHHHH! I hate these guys! Fuck this team! Gut them, get them out of my face.
UPDATE: If you think I’m crazy, I’m not the only one.