That’s right, ya heard me sweetie. You know old Marge is lookin’ down on all of ya’s dont’cha honeys? Now be a sweetheart and get me another vodka and scrap the soda, lemon, and anything else you were thinking about ruining it with, will ya sweetie?
Those Cardinals, they have a pitcher or two; and they’ve got that overgrown wetback. But overall, they’re just an ordinary team. If you let them catch you, I’ll never let any of ya live it down. Do ya understand me sweeties? Now look Schottzie in the eye and tell her you’re gonna win it for her, honeys. Don’t make Marge trade all 25 of your asses before next spring sweetie.
And there’s another reason ya can’t let it slip away sweeties; in St. Louis there’s a lot of colored people sweetie. We don’t want our postseason to be ruined by something like that now honey. Now could you reach over on the nightstand and grab my Marlboro’s and be a sweetheart for me baby? Thank you. Nothing hits the spot like a glass of rubbing alcohol and two cigarettes for breakfast sweetie. It helps knock the cobwebs out baby.
Now go out there and win the first prize for old Marge now honeys. Get out there and be the team that you and I know you can be. You guys remind me of someone I knew well so many years ago. And besides, there is not alternative honey. You win, or you go underneath the sheets and clean out ol’ Marge’s breadbasket sweetie.