That’s right, Pic. You fucking heard me.
I’m tired of these big time athletes undermining my knowledge, my good looks, my prominence in the Redlegs organization. I’m taking a stand.
This postgame is brought to you by John Morrell Meats. And the meat that rests free and blowing in the wind underneath this FOX Sports Net Ohio sports desk.
The team leaves town and once again I’m not on the media travel list. What? Am I that fucking bad? Well I’m tired of everyone in the tri-state area on their high-horse. I’m Jim Day and I’m going to do an interview how I see fit. I’m going to crack bad jokes with horrible dental humor and I’m going to be the only one who laughs.
You don’t like my jokes?
(climbs to the top of FSN Ohio Sports Desk)
KISS MY IRISH ASS REDS FANS!
You think you can keep denying talent? You keep putting me on asinine assignments like interviewing 9-year old little Freddy or giving Grandma trivia at the 4192 club level during rain delays?
FUCK YOU AND FUCK CIN-CIN-NATI!
This past weekend while the Battlin’ Redlegs were in St. Louis seeing what a real team looks like, I was at home, with my thumb in my ass! You don’t even know what you’re doing to me.
On Friday, I played Everquest until 4am. Shortly after that I switched it over to Warcraft. I was a snow knome. I didn’t even get up to go to the restroom. I ended up pissing in an empty 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew next to my desk and later knocked it over when I finally decided to get up and take a shower.
I then headed out to a nearby, quiet bar in Indian Hill with a few close friends. Things happened. A few things of which I’m not particularly proud of. We started playing nude photohunt. When I go to enter in my high-score, what do I see?
I think I’m seeing shit from all the Warcraft. But there’s more. The second high score?
Then followed up with ‘JDSUCKS’, ‘IHATEJIM’, and ‘JDFSNGAY’, ‘JDCOKSUCK’ and ‘JDJAGOFF’
And it continued on down, except for the 8th place score that the real ‘JD’ occupied. Don’t think I don’t know who you meant!
So, Cincinnati? You like me with my pants off? Want to see that I’m not dickless afterall? You got it!
(Stands up, exposes front to FSN rolling camera)
This post game is brought to you by my sack! I don’t give a baby’s fat dick anymore! Cincinnati, get bent for not knowing real talent when you see it!
(Slips, falls off FSN Sports Desk)