Jay Bruce fucked all over GABP tonight courtesy of Mr. Moehler. I love how after he hits that second bomb, he just sets the fucking bat down like he’s just fucked Moehler’s wife on Moehler’s dinner table.
Something about this game definitely belonged on this blog a long time ago. One of the most hideous fucking baseball video games of all time, Sports Talk Baseball for the Sega Genesis. You might remember this gem of a title because of it’s more famous cousin, Joe Montana’s Sports Talk Football.
They’re equally fucking hideous, with the one consistent factor in the game being the old man who grumbles out such lovely audibles like “A BEAUTY!” after kick-offs and “he throws to first, he throws ta second, throws ta first, OFF THE WALL!”
The legendary voice that was why they coined the name of the game has been named by my friends and I, Lon Palasky. And if you want to ask why, it is because he looks like a Lon Palasky (see above).
You know, I was so excited to get this game as a kid. I remember the day I got to rent it (back then I was really upset that my parents wouldn’t just buy it for me) and I put it in the Sega Genesis. I ended up getting drilled like 14-1 by someone, I took the San Diego Padres. I had a home run with the Crime Dog Freddy McGriff. I actually thought it was the most lifelike game ever created back at the time.
Look at those penis dives in the video. Love how the Canuck doing the review (he’s into the game still it seems) attempts to sell us on the fact that “you can win a game with Taranta’s defense by isolating your opponent”. Dude, give me a break. It’s a shitty fuckin’ game and the designers didn’t know dick about attributes. They knew three things: speed guy, power guy, and slap guy. And good for them on that one.
If you ever had the chance to play this game, you will enjoy this video. Afterall, it is a game we loved as kids. And the commentary in this by that Canuck is correct, the old man does try to fit everything in during his anouncing of the game and he gets all backed up. That’s what made it so hideous. And Toronto Won! And look at that hideous Sega Genesis graphics pic of Dave Stieb! It’s terrible!
“TIME OUT! TIME OUT! TIME OUT!”
Jay Bruce knows May 27 is Jay Bruce Day
“Two years ago today, I got called up. Last year, I hit two homers on May 27 and this year I hit one. May 27 is a pretty good day. Johnny was pitching too.” — Jay Bruce, postgame interview.
Our boy is now hitting .291/.423/.405 in the month of May. I fully expect his slugging percentage to increase and I wonder he can keep up a .423 OBP. If he does, you have a full-fledge superstar on your hands. The kind a pennant winning team hitches their wagon to. Long ways to go, but he made huge strides this month and continued hitting the ball hard. Despite a couple of K’s he still added a double later in the game.
Reds take 3 of 4 from Pirates
This is the first time since the middle of 2006 that we’ve been 8 games over .500, and man does it feel good. The Reds needed 3 of 4 from the Pirates and that’s exactly what they did. They now enter the weekend playing the Houston Astros for three while the Cardinals battle the Cubs. This series is paramount because it will allow the Reds to gain ground on someone behind them. Things are setting up nicely if the Reds can handle their business at home. Something they’ve done 17 times in 27 tries thus far this season.
Rolen & Cueto
Rolen equals his home run total from last year. Please, just stay healthy Scott. Playing like he’s 24 again. That 3-run home run in the first inning was the catalyst for the entire evening (after of course Orlando Cabrera getting on base again to lead off a ballgame).
Johnny Cueto is 5-0 with a sub-1 ERA in his last 5 starts. The guy is absolutely dominating right now. He’s unhittable, and if his arm doesn’t fatigue again he is the type of guy who you could see becoming a household name around the National League. He’s delivering on the promise that a lot of scouts were talking about when he first came up.
Not sure if this was meant to be a reverse-jinx or anything; and believe us we’re nuts enough about sports to try everything into tricking the sports Gods, but we got an interesting e-mail from a Cardinals fan today:
Big thursday here on the blog as we celebrate Jay Bruce Day. Reds are a game in first place, that feels damn good. I wish my fantasy team was hitting. Guys like Mauer, Lind, Justin Upton, Prince, Bruce, are yet to get truly hot. If that ever happens I would win my league for the second year running.
Here’s the baseball links of the day:
-Walt Jocketty’s first round draft history. [Red Reporter]
-Ozzie Guillen got into it with Joe West yesterday. [Inside the White Sox]
-Stephen Strasburg’s first Major League game is coming soon. [National Journal]
-Carl Crawford or Jayson Werth? I’m going with Crawford. [Extra Bases]
-The Red Sox somehow swept the mighty Rays. [Red Sox Monster]
-A Strasburg rookie card is going for $17K on eBay. [USA Today Daily Pitch]
-A new diet fad, the Public Humiliation Diet. [Deadspin]
-Andre Ethier should be back on Monday to continue after a Triple Crown. [Y! Sports Rumors]