A Masshole will always be a Masshole

By TheNaturalMevs on April 28, 2010

Way back when, we did a post out of sheer hope that Dustin Pedroia wouldn’t win the AL MVP award in 2008.

Off to a sparkling 10-11 start with how big of a payroll? Red Sox fans aparently have nothing better to do then patrol the interwebs in for stuff buried deep within the archives of blogs like this one to defend one of their bunch and show a little ‘Sawks’ pride.

And this commenter served it up on a tee:

fuck everyone that said this a good post…pedroia deserved the mvp and thats why he got it…awww poor faggots he rubbed u the wrong way get the fuck over it u pussys…HES THE SHIT

Masshole, Red Sox fans have been well documented on other blogs. People know how they are. That right to entitlement. That brash cockiness. Copious amounts of usage of words like ‘faggot’ and ‘pussy’ to attempt to make a point.

And now it’s our job to tell Masshole Boston fan how it really is.

What’s the matter, Masshole? You still mad that John Kerry got shit on in the election all those years back? No? You’re probably just a little salty that your team with a $160 million dollar payroll has been outscored by 17 runs so far.

Maybe you’re just upset that your boys got ousted in three games by the Angels in last year’s ALDS? I mean afterall that team got their asses handed to them by the Yankees. So then you go out as part of your solution to be able to get out of the ALDS and you sign John Lackey (past his prime) to a big ass contract, and thus far the gamer has been getting hit like a snare drum–5.07 ERA. Hey, what’d your boy Pedroia hit in that ALDS last year in which your Beantown boys got swept? Oh, he hit .167? Did that rub you the wrong way? No?

Red Sox nation is such an imposing force. That’s why the 2010 Rays, a better team then Boston has had in their history went out and collectively crapped down your necks in a four game series in Boston. That’s right. They squatted, and took a shit right in the middle of the finish line of your Boston marathon and did it with a smile. Then they used a Theo Epstein shirt to wipe their asses.

How about your boy JD Drew? He’s hitting all of .191 this year. Sparkling OPS of .620, you guys sure could use a new corner outfielder next year huh? How about Carl Crawford? I mean fuck you guys just buy everything in sight to try and win; God forbid you have to develop a player because Lord knows you guys can’t develop a player for shit–that happens twice a decade and you’ve met your quota by a guy or two. Oh Crawford is going to sign with the Yankees because your city is full of smelly English fuckshots? Yeah that’s what I heard too.

Red Sox fan better just spend their time worrying about fending off the Blue Jays because we think you’re the fourth best team in your division this year. $160 million dollar team and the cupboard is bare. How the fuck does that happen? Boy, that Theo Epstein sure is a goddamn genius!

Hell, if it weren’t for the Red Sox getting to play the fucking AAA Orioles 20 times this season you’d really be fucked. You’d be a 74 win team. How acceptable is that Red Sox nation?

At least you have a couple of aces to lean on when times get rough like Jon Lester and Josh Beckett. Ok, I admit I’m holding back laughter now. Their ERA’s of 6.23 and 7.22 are nice numbers to sit back and admire.

LOL Lackey and Wakefield. Leading hitter Adrian Beltre (still zero home runs). Fucking fail, Boston. How did you possibly think this team was anything other then an expensive lump of shit? We knew it. You’re just too blinded by your chowder-mushed brain to see out of the forest from the trees.