You haven’t heard the last of this Grande old man

Remember when we told you that George Grande was calling it a career? Well, we lied. Sort of.

Like the truly great bad guy characters of the best horror films of our generation; Grande just keeps coming back. Baseball fans outside of Cincinnati aren’t able to appreciate just what kind of butchering this guy is able to do to sports commentary.

I’d thought I’d heard the last of his bullshit. You know, “Prince Albert” or “Hi, hello, and welcome” or the God-forsaken “get em on, get em over, get em in” phrases that torture me through the dog days of summer on FSN Ohio’s broadcasts.

The good news is we get 145 games in HD.

So, the bad news (which is what everyone I know in this country focuses on lately) is naturally coming next. From FSN Ohio’s web site:

As previously announced, Thom Brennaman will serve as the play by play voice for the majority of Reds game telecasts this season. Cincinnati native and longtime broadcaster Paul Keels will be the play-by-play announcer for the remainder of the Reds schedule. Both broadcasters will team with color analysts Chris Welsh and Jeff Brantley. George Grande will also return to his play-by-play announcing role in September on a limited basis.

What the fuck is this? Did Grande negotiate his way out of timeout or what? Did they reconsider things because he’s such a swell old guy? Retired means gone! GTFO, Gran-de!

Look, we’re sure that he’s a good man. He loves his wife. We’ve covered all of that before. But we’re finished with him in the broadcast booth. I don’t care if any of the games are in HD. I’ll take Gary the Retard in the broadcast booth. Shit, we’ll take a wooden indian. But no more Grande.

Start the clocks until September when we’re 18 games out and he’s saying that guy’s ‘blooped’ it into left field (screaming line drive).