There can only be one Oscar Azocar

Back in 1992 my Uncle took me to see the San Diego Padres play. They had a young third baseman by the name of Gary Sheffield. They had Tony Gwynn. They had Freddy “the Crime Dog” McGriff.

And then there was Oscar Azocar. Guy might has well have lived in a garbage can; because he was absolute trash.

Your garden variety Oscar Azocar Wikipedia Page will give you facts such as this:

Azócar was a classic example of the impatient hitter who will swing at almost anything and usually put it in play. It took him 100 Major League at-bats to draw his first walk. He normally obliged the pitchers by hitting whatever they threw, and his batting average dropped accordingly.

In a career that spanned 202-games too long Azócar hit for .226, with 5 bombs, 99 hits, 16 doubles, 10 stolen bases and 12 walks. It is noted that he was never caught stealing. Whoopee.

That game that he got a few at-bats, I remember as a 9 year old kid laughing absolutely uncontrollably at his name. I continued to call him ‘Oscar Oscar’ and laugh all game long like a dipshit kid does and all the while the family members allowed the joke to be on me.

And look at that picture in the baseball card. What’s going on there? Dude looks like Fozzy Bear holding a Louisville Slugger, not an MLB Outfielder.