The Hawk could fuck you hard or he could fuck you so slow

We were recently reminded that Andre Dawson is up for the Hall of Fame. As a Chicagoan we work with said to us, how could we not react to this? If you grew up in the 80’s, you knew of The Hawk. You knew about him because in 1987 he hit 49 home runs and drove in 137 on his way to winning the MVP award. Back then, those were astronomical numbers. They’re still pretty big numbers.

But you knew of the Hawk because he was one of the first Topps baseball cards you ever owned. You knew of him because he wore the stirrups on those pole legs like no one else in the big leagues. You knew him because the sumbitch was ageless. Your father’s Andre Dawson was your Andre Dawson. He played from 1976 to 1996. He probably played with kids that he fathered.

So is he Hall of Fame worthy? We think so. Dawson played in an era where power hitters were really at a premium. He was dynamic; hitting nearly .280 for his career and stealing 314 bases. He made the All-Star list seven times. As we mentioned, he took home the MVP.

He’s basically Jose Canseco, only he had the big black king snake and he was clean. Put him in the Hall and let him start working on his speech. You know he is the strong-silent type; so it should be a good one.