The Rise of Jayson Werth

Just two short seasons ago, Jayson Werth was a scrub. A bench-warming player. A guy who scanned the crowd during games for women. His head wasn’t in the game. People admitted that he was ugly. He was an afterthought in Phillies history, if he was even a thought at all.

Now, he’s still a piece of shit. He’s still ugly. But women have convinced themselves in his flurry of good play that this guy is actually some kind of Philly icon. It all started last year. We saw it coming then. This is an average ballplayer who is tailor-made for Philadelphia, the sports city that always endears the lesser shiny penny. When he plays above his head, the city goes nuts for him and his perceived ‘charisma’.

But Vincent Papale you are not you son of a bitch.

You’re going to crash and burn. You’ll never have another season like you had this year. And while you might enjoy a little two year run of being the big shot in the city of brotherly love. But they’ll forget you. When you return to the Werth that you are; the one who hit .234 in 2005, who will love you then? Philly fans turned on Santa, they’ll turn on your mangy ass too.

It’s coming. It might not be this series, it might not be in April of 2010. But your run at the top is going to reach it’s end soon. We’ll be there to laugh at you when it does. Dickhead.