Earlier this season Joey Votto was going through some problems with anxiety. Our heart went out to him. That is no joke for anyone who has been through it. He made it back this year to hit .322 with 25 bombs and 84 RBI in just 131 games. Don’t discount those 38 doubles when trying to figure out his power numbers for next year. We like Joey Votto. No doubt about it. He’s a good run producer in the middle of the lineup. But this story is kind of whacky. So whacky that it’s interesting.
So we won’t say how we know all this, but Joey is adopted by a host family whom he used to live with. His sister in that host family goes to school here in Columbus at Ohio State. We have a mutual friend of his sister; and this is where these stories derive from.
Aparently, Votto has a real screwy family history. His real family there are issues in; we don’t know much about that to elaborate and we won’t. Reds fans might remember two little kids running around the field in Toronto earlier this year. Those two little guys are his blood siblings, but he’s actually closer to his adopted family. It was told to us that there was a lot of anxiety brought on to Joey due to his father’s untimely passing (his real father, not his adopted).
Nothing too interesting there, just setting up some background info.
So we met up with our friend to watch some football a few weekends ago. She shows up with an autographed Joey Votto photo for us. A very nice gesture. And she had some stories.
Aparently when the Votto saga was shaking down earlier this summer and they were trying to figure out what was going on with him, he was staying at his foster sister’s apartment in Columbus. Amazing to think that Joey was just up the road from us for a time during the regular season. We wonder how he liked Columbus.
Anyhoo, our friend is the sister’s lab partner. They’d be working on an assignment together and Joey would call and call, and call his sister some more. They’re very tight. Aparently one time he called in a paranoid state and asked his sister if she thought he should get a pedicure. Why did Joey consider getting a pedicure? Because he thought it would possibly make him run faster.
So all the while the Reds are sinking and the lineup stopped performing because our most solid producer was out, you have Joey in a college apartment that he doesn’t own; most likely in his pajamas, wondering to pedicure or not to pedicure? All to gain a little foot speed.
Aside from that we’re told that Votto is highly metro-sexual in fashion (not a bad thing if you’re into that) and is really into shopping trips. He also would call throughout the day at a high rate because he really didn’t like being alone. No humor in that because the guy was going through a tough time. But the pedicure bit was a little funny to us.
So Joey, remember you’re a slugger not a speedster. Buy your girlfriend a pedicure bro. We’re glad you found your way out of this funk.