Who's going to be our 2009 playoff horse?

It’s been a long time since we’ve had this little of a rooting interest in the playoff field of 8 within MLB. Like we wished for in the 2004 postseason, we want to see a matchup of the St. Louis Cardinals and New York Yankees. Two proud franchises with a ton of history and maybe the two best fan bases in all of baseball. But would we ever really get behind either of these teams? Probably not. That sounds about as much fun as battling cancer.

Plus the Dodgers have history. The Red Sox; they also have history. Yeah, fuck them both.

Then you’ve got the upstarts. The Detroit Tigers and the Colorado Rockies. Great stories. Jim Tracy comes in and plays the 2009 version of 2007 Clint Hurdle in Clint Hurdle’s old office. Then you’ve got Jim Leyland, who we love very much here at Diamond Hoggers. It’d be nice to see Detroit win a title for that depressed area of the country, plus we’re sure the national media would take off with a story about how Detroit fans have paid their dues by watching the 0-16 Lions last year. Got news for you all. People from Detroit suck. Colorado Rockies fans don’t give a shit enough to show up for postseason games even in that paradise ballpark.

Then you’ve got the Anaheim Angels. Of course, a great story in what they’ve overcame losing a fallen teammate (Nick Adenhart) in a tragedy within the first month of the season. But how boring are the Angels? I mean really. They didn’t interest me with their rally monkey shit in 2002. They’ve certainly worn me out with the shit now. I honestly can’t sit through 9 innings of fucking Angels baseball and their stupid ass renovated rock fountains.

Then you’ve got the Phillies. Jesus, the worst of all evils. We’ve had our fill of obnoxious fucking Phillie fans all year long after their world title win in 2008. Charlie Manuel had no business winning it then, and he’ll shit the futon in 2009. They won’t be back so we need not worry. The Phillies don’t really have a likable roster. And no, Chase Utley isn’t likable because he’s good. Brett Myers is a wife beater and Ryan Howard is aging fast. The way they’ve bumble fucked the whole closer thing even though they’re headed to the postseason is really irritating. Stick with Lidge. He didn’t blow a save in 2008, afterall. And fuck the Marlins and Mets in the pants for not being able to dethrone these guys.

So you see, in every situation while there’s a reason to root for someone as a baseball fan; there’s an equal and opposite reason why we just can’t. And that’s why it stinks when your team hasn’t had a winning record in almost a decade. You’re searching for reasons to watch the MLB Playoffs and your only reason is so you can add some thoughts on your baseball blog. Really you hate everyone involved and you don’t enjoy that October drama quite as much as everyone else who gets to celebrate following a winning team.

Fuck it. We’re going with Leyland. We wanna see him ride off into the sunset with a warm glass of milk and a few Marlboro Reds.