Yeah, You're an Asshole

I sat through 14 innings to watch you come in and piss away one of the finest team pitching performances I’ve ever witnessed? I get wins in a parlay bet from the lowly Royals and underdog Twins and all the Reds have to do is finish it off to win me enough money to pay a high electric bill for a month. And you come in and you do exactly what I said you’d do. You shit the bed.

You should have your pitching in pressure situations card revoked, dickhead. I hope Dick Pole takes one of his horse turd shits right in your hat tonight.