We never went into detail about the time we met Pete Rose at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. But we’ve heard other’s encounters with the hit king himself. They remarkably; were all like the time that we saw Charlie Hustle, chatted him up about small talk, he failed to make any eye contact with us or anyone, and then we were shuffled through like the tourists we were. I managed to snap a picture on my camera phone but Charlie Hustle was charging the big bucks for his time and to get real photos of him. The spare in the video today exhibits that Charlie Hustle is as consistent in his autograph mongering as he was at collecting seeing-eye singles.
0:08– I’ve already decided I can do without this music. Eat shit for that, mearly34.
0:10– Oh you’re up? I don’t care. Nice to know you can still squeeze a few bucks out of Sin City these days. Good to know those nickel slots are treating you well you high roller you.
0:18– “You gotta pay $50 to get a photo. You have to buy a photo and get it signed.” Is that right? Interesting.
0:37– We get our first shot of that hit king on his cell phone, listening intently to some faceless, nameless gangster most likely. And it appears that the news isn’t good. If an expression could talk: “I knew I shouldn’t have bet a God damn 4-team parlay when the Phillies were starting Madson! Fuck! If I just would have left it as a 3-team! But the Phillies never lose at home to the Giants! It hasn’t happened for decades!”
0:41– The hit king is shamelessly picking his nose. There’s an Arriba standing behind him preparing for his big moment with Pete.
0:45– Reload time. And you thought the Peter went down easy! They invented the west coast for this shit! Gimme $500 on Colorado and Oakland to win their night-caps.
0:50– Possibly the best part of the video. Pete throws an arm around the little gal and pops squeezes in behind to get their photo with him. And he smiles that forced, fake smile that says ‘how many fuckin times do you think I’ve done this in this day/month/year/decade’.
0:55– Interview with Pete Rose’s forehead.
0:59– Rose has to remind his brain to work. It’s like when you’re working at a factory. You keep putting the widgets in the box all day long. After 8 hours of it, you tune out everything else and you’re just a fucking widget in the box stuffing machine. Well Pete is focused on getting the autograph signed. Talking is not part of the deal.
1:03– Patented side glance, accompanied by talking out of the side of the mouth like only Peter Edward Rose can.
1:05– Psychosis look. Look at those eyes!
1:12– Either you’re too nervous in the mind to help yourself, Pete; or you were never taught to look someone in the eye when they speak to you. These are your customers. Christ.
1:18– “How long you been doing stuff like this? Um, autograph signings?” annnnnnnd not a minute longer today it looks like.
1:26– Pete Rose, jump suit, fast, need-to-take-a-shit walk.
1:36– Man! You offended Pete Rose! Tough to do we’re sure! Hey, what a better way to celebrate then to head down to the Flamingo and hit up the nickel slots! I hear they’re giving away those cool free Flamingo cups that you can keep the nickels in! See you there!
1:41– Uh, yeah. We just watched your video. Play by play is not needed. And shave while your at it.
1:45– You have a way with wearing dickwad Buddy Holly glasses as well.
2:09– Happy ending after all. Rose smiling like a grampa with dementia at his 80th bday party.
I’m personally still just shocked that Rose wasn’t wearing a shirt with Hawaiian print on it.