Ben Sheets: Does This Guy EVER Finish a Game?

So I’m watching the Brewers-Cubs game tonight, and all the hoopla leading up to it on ESPN. All the talk is how the Brewers have to have this one or it’s season over. Might as well sell the franchise to a new ownership group in Hartford if they don’t pull this one out and find a way to make the playoffs. Then Rick Sutcliffe and the like go into about how this is the biggest game of Ben Sheets career. The same Ben Sheets who has nasty shit and if he could manage to hold the tampon in long enough, would be in the Cy Young running and would be winning NL Comeback Player of the Year just like I said he would.

So I run to the store to get a few things.

I get back and hear in the background of the game while I’m putting the goods away, that Sheets had to leave the game. Isn’t this just typical Ben Sheets.

In the past few years now, Sheets has left 24 ballgames early due to ‘injury’. Here are some of the listed causes of SLE (Sheets Leaves Early):

-His thumb hurt
-Teeth rotting from too many candy apples the night before
-Turf toe
-Osgoods slaughter disease
-He felt woozy after sparring with Marvin Hagler
-Strep throat
-He wet his underwear after Lou Piniella scared him once

The Brewers fire Ned Yost for losing games. Understandable. In the offseason, the Brewers ownership should break their collective foot off in Ben Sheets’ ass for being a pussy.