I need you to do something for me


Hell no, the Astros are not last year’s Colorado Rockies. Not gonna happen people. I don’t care that they’ve won 13 of 14 games and that Roy Oswalt is on the bump at home tonight against the lifeless and wretched Pittsburgh Pirates. We already are going to have one shitty team in the playoffs this season (Dodgers), we don’t need another.

That said, I just bet the farm on the Astros to win tonight, and when I say the farm, I mean in the triple digits. One shot one kill. Oh, what? You’re more of a high roller then that? That is a lot of money to a guy who doesn’t buy groceries and fills his gas tank $10 at a time to make due. I need the Astros to win tonight like they’re supposed to. It has to happen. They have the ability to destroy me. But no team in the history of my baseball fandom has won more times to crush my heart, which is why I hate them like an ingrown hair. No pitcher has ripped my heart out and pissed on it more times than Roy O.

This has to be a sure bet, doesn’t it?