My friend's tale about meeting Jose Canseco

So I get a call from my old roomate who’s trying to play Major League Baseball (he’s waiting on a call for a tryout in front of pro scouts). He wanted to go to the park across the street from my house and have me give him a work out. We long toss, I hit him some ground balls, give him some flips; whatever he needs. A fair amount of catching-up and bullshitting commences.

“I watched Jose Canseco play Independent League baseball the other night on YouTube you know,” I tell him.

“Oh shit dude. I forgot to tell you I met fuckin’ Canseco about a month ago. I gotta tell you about it.” he says.

Jose was in town for the Arnold Schwarzenegger Classic that takes place in late february-early march here in Columbus. Canseco was coming to the event to sell a new product he endorses called Testagen; a glorified version of HGH. The slogan for the product? ‘The Stuff Canseco is on NOW’.

“You look just like Sandra Bullock”

So my old roomate, his girl, and about 3 of my former college teammates head out to a club in Columbus one of the nights following the Arnold Classic. Low and behold, there is Canseco; by himself and without an entourage. It’s been pointed out that Canseco doesn’t have many friends these days.

My buddy is hesitant although he’d like to talk to him. He decides against it because he doesn’t want to bother Canseco and he respects the lifestyle of pro-athletes, understanding that they are just another living human being like you and I and they like their freedom.

So his girlfriend takes it upon herself to introduce herself to him.

She walks up to the solo-Jose and says hello. First words out of his mouth?

“You know what baby, has anyone ever told you that you look just like Sandra Bullock?”

That was it. That was the best he could fucking do. This guy’s had his dick negative inches away from Jessica Canseco more times than can be counted and he still somehow manages to come off sounding like a chatch-bag to my buddy’s girlfriend. Afterall, she’s just another piece of road beef, no? I mean, Canseco’s had thousands of women. He should be all ‘fucked-out’ by now. Wouldn’t you think he’d just take the laid back approach or maybe not give a shit about getting his dick wet at this stage in the game? Aparently not.

My friend’s girlfriend says back “Actually, I came over here to introduce you to my boyfriend. He’s shy and didn’t want to bother you but I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

Dejected, he shakes my old roomates hand.

“You look a little young to be escorting this girl around,” Canseco comes back with. Aparently, about 20 more seconds of small-talk dialogue and then Canseco bounced. My buddy did note that he’s still ‘fucking huge’.

I know I always enjoy anything that’s Jose Canseco-related. This was no different.