The Roger Clemens Report is available

Was this right before you pulled a tractor in your teeth?

Roger Clemens has launched a rebuttle, and he’s done it in the form of a website that transforms into a PDF File. will take you to this said file, which was written by Hendrick Sports Management LLC. Randal Hendricks and Steven Mann will be sending Roger Clemens the bill on this one, as they headline the report. So that’s what a Sports Management degree can do for a guy. I wonder if I could have written the Clemens report. Maybe I will make an Adam Dunn report. I don’t know.

This report will evaluate the career of Roger Clemens, one of the most successful pitchers in major league history. It will examine both the quality and quantity of his pitching over the course of his 24-year career. As of the 2007 season, Clemens was one of the twenty-nine active major league players who were at least 40 years old. Of those twenty-nine, eighteen were pitchers, and twelve of those were starting pitchers.

Really, this report reminds me of when you give a kid a plate of mashed potatoes and vegtables they don’t want to eat. They’ll shove the potatoes and the broccoli around, but it doesn’t really go away. No matter how much they push it around, it still is there staring them in the face even though you can change the exact state cause they’re moved around.

-PDF available here.