Here's how it's gonna go tenatively

A good blog has structure and focus. We’re clearly focused on baseball coverage, but with that being said we skip around a lot. From now on, we plan to make this place a little neater and not such a confusing place to be. Each day, if we make an entry we will go for a certain type of entry. This doesn’t mean we still can’t recap a ballgame or an entire night’s action. It also leaves room for us to be very random. Things will just be a bit more organized for the time being. Depending on what day it is, we’ll make a certain entry that will warm your heart. Here is the set up.

Friday: Week in Review, Weekend preview, Visitors Dugout
Saturday: Saturday Baseball afternoon roundtable (smorgusboard of posts)
Sunday: Opininative Piece
Monday: A case of the mondays rant (we rip someone)
Tuesday: Steroid Witchhunt
Wednesday: Story Time/Random Player Review
Thursday: The Dippers/Hoggers Review

You’ll see how these different formats shape up as we do them, but expect this to be the format going forward, or like, at least until we’re sick of writing about these things.

The American League All Star Starters

The 2007 American league All Star Starters as voted by the fans:

C Ivan Rodriguez, Detroit
It’s Pudge’s remarkable 14th All-Star appearance. The guy’s popularity and recognizability are a huge part of him getting selected, but the fact that he got an assist from Joe Mauer being hurt and having a down year didn’t ruin his chances at all either. He’s hitting .280 with 42 RBI on a good team, that helps as well. Pudge at the All Star game as been a fixture since I was a young kid and it was in Texas in 1992 when Junior won the MVP. Why would this year be any different?

1B David Ortiz, Boston
He’s not having his biggest year power-wise with only 13 HR, and he’s going to have to have a huge 2nd half to get to 40 for the 4th consecutive season; but he’s got a .317 average right now and a lot of big RBI’s for a good Boston team. The beantowners definitely helped him out, and there isn’t many better guys in the game than “Cookie Monster”, so I’m glad he’s going.

2B Placido Polanco, Detroit
He will make his first all star appearance as a starter, a double caveat. He is hitting .332 so he deserves the spot. He also looks like Albert Pujols love child with an alien, so that’s cool. I like Bobby Cano a lot, but I think Polanco truly deserved this.

3B Alex Rodriguez, New York
This was the biggest no brainer of them all. I even voted for him every time he deserved it so much. A-Rod has improved his already staggering numbers. He’s hitting .334 with 28 homeruns and 79 RBI. He’s averaging more than an RBI a game for the season. Rodriguez might just have his finest offensive season not just as a Yankee, but ever. The short left field porch and every porch in every ballpark has been kind to him this season.

SS Derek Jeter, New York
I was looking at his numbers this morning. The ultimate professional, Jeter is an exemplary all-star pick. He’ll be like Ripken at the end of his career, he’ll be voted in as a starter out of honor in his last season. He’s hitting .340 on the year and even though the power numbers are down he’s got 105 hits. All this while being the captain in the biggest city in America, pulling ass by seemingly being, well, Derek Jeter.

OF Vladimir Guerrero, Anaheim
See the ball, hit the ball. You could have penciled the hitting machine they call ‘Bad Vlad’ in this spot in february. A huge reason the Angels have the best record at home in baseball.

OF Magglio Ordonez, Detroit
Unbelievable numbers again for this starter. The fans got it right on this one. The guy is having an insane season on his way to being an all star for the 6th time. Can he make a run at .400? He’s done it so far this season, in a lineup that isn’t that awesome on paper. He’s hitting .375 and has 68 RBI. I don’t see any reason for why he hasn’t been the first half AL MVP, edging out A-Rod because the Tigers have been more successful as a team.

OF Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle
Once again a consensus pick due to all the Japanese voters and his international fame. He’s never failed to get 200 hits, he’s never failed to hit .300 either. The little sumbitch is just a pesky little hitter. He’s hitting in the .360s and has helped Seattle play above their heads. He’s stolen 22 bases in 24 attempts. He’s just good. Real good.

Reds fail to hang onto the win again

I have to be honest, I can’t figure out why these Reds are so bad. You know how good teams seemingly find ways to just pull out wins night after night? These guys find ways to pull out losses. They’re amazing and consistent at losing. The only reason to watch anymore is for Josh Hamilton and Dunn. Every 5th day you might wanna check out Homer Bailey’s start. Aaron Harang is solid and Brandon Phillips plays hard and plays hurt. Other then that, this team just needs blown up. They just shouldn’t be this bad. There is no reason for it. The chemistry is terrible. That is the only thing I can figure. People only seem to talk about chemistry when ballclubs are winning; allow me to talk about it when a ballclub is losing. On paper at worst this is a .500 ballclub, on the field they just can’t play together.

Last night, Albert Pujols and company came to town, took out his cock, and effectively slung whipped butter all over the field in Cincy. I’m so shocked that Chris Duncan didn’t go off last night as well. He usually kills the Reds. Plenty of time left in the series to do so. The loss overshadows a great start by Bronson Arroyo, and Josh Hamilton’s blast to right field that represented the Reds only scoring on the night.

Box Score

This song sums up my feelings towards the Reds pretty good:

Throwing it around

Happy saturday. We hope that you had a nice friday night and your june is ending well. Ours would really be better if our fiance wasn’t mad at us for no reason. Girls are crazy sometimes aren’t they? That is one reason why baseball is better than girls, baseball is always the same format, it never changes. That said, lets read some baseball links that have nice takes:

  • Bonds hits #755 and Troy Percival is back. (Deadspin)
  • A fan takes the field, looking rather San-Fran-ciscan last night and more on Bonds’ homerun. (The Big Lead)
  • The Jaunt talks about Ryan Howard’s 100th career homerun, and the short amount of time it took him to get there. Why’s he laying in the dugout in this pic? (The Jaunt)
  • The Padres were the lucky winners of the Milton Bradley sweepstakes. (MLB Trade Rumors)
  • A-Rod thoughts from a Yankee fan, now that A-Rod is delivering he might not get a shot at the postseason, and this fan wants him traded for prospects. (Yankees etc)
  • Wanna hang out with Deadspin and AJ Dualerio? Here’s your chance. (The 700 Level)
  • Ben Francisco bursts on the scene, and walks off the Devil Rays. The magic is back at the Jake. (The Diatribe)

It’s time to roast the world’s worst hitter David Ross

David Ross, you stupid, pathetic, fuck. It’s time for a good old fashioned out behind the wood shed ripping of your false ass. You’ve hound-dogged the wrong guy’s chick dude, and not that I care because I’m not insecure and you’re not a real ballplayer, I just think it’s fun to expose you and let the sharks that are internet stalkers shred you alive.

It’s bad enough that you’re terrible and not hitting your weight this season to date (.195) at the time this publishing went to print. Dude, you are on the interstate. Do you know what that means? Do you know how hard it is to be that bad? It’s absolutely terrible. There’s a lot of schmucks out there reading this article that honest to God could show up and do that. I played the game, I know, and it’s forseeable that someone out there not in the big leagues could get close to your average if they had that many at bats and all that coaching. You’re lower than dog shit. I’ve held off doing this all season but it’s finally time. You earned it

The other thing that’s worth mentioning about your stellar craft is that over the course of your career your performance this season has been just a bit less then what you’ve done your entire career. A career .223 hitter. Jesus that is bad. Looks like daddy gave birth to little miss Nancy ‘David’ Ross when he had his first son. Come on little Davey Ross, swing the bat hard like you mean it. Alice Ross, that is what I’m gonna call you at the ballpark from now on.

Alright, now time for the meat and potatoes of this meal and to let my readers know why I’m all the sudden ripping the little-known catcher of my favorite and equally shitty ballclub, the Cincinnati Reds.

Ross has a 4 month old daughter. He also has a wife. I know this because of an article I read on fathers day where I had to stare at Ross in full uniform making his goofy ass face at his little spawndling. So David, how great is it being a dad?

“When you get home from the ballpark, good day, bad day,
it doesn’t matter,” said the proud parent (David Ross) of 4-month-old daughter
Landri. “You forget about anything that happened at work. It takes your mind
totally somewhere else. That smile is genuine. There’s no hidden agenda. And
then you go on the road, and you’re like, man, you want to get back because
they’re changing so fast.”

Fuck that dude. You’re about as good of a dad as you are a ballplayer. When you’re on the road all you’re thinking about is hound-dogging for the next piece of “Road Beef” as Jose Canseco called it in his book. I’ve got a few stories to serve as some proof.
Here’s a bit of a recap of what my fiance had to tell me about her experience at the ballgame the other day:
“Well I had fun, but you know the Reds’ catcher, Ross? He wasn’t playing (no surprise there) but he was down in the bullpen about 4 feet from us the whole game and he was so gross. First he just kept staring at us like a possessed pervert and would just stare and stare and not look away. Then he threw me and Hope a ball and no one else. Even little kids that were begging him for a baseball all game and he just ignored them and ended up giving two more baseball’s to girls that flashed their tits at him. He kept staring at me and Hope kept telling me he was and I would look over quick and try and catch him doing it but there was no need. He was staring with no shame, like a typical asshole ballplayer. Then I said ‘what a pervert’ and he just started laughing and kept staring, and undressing us with his eyes. He wasn’t wearing his wedding band either. Then after those two girls that flashed him got thrown out of the ballpark, he went to the spot in the bullpen where he could still communicate with them and they exchanged information and he looked to get their number.”

Wow, what a guy. Sounds like father of the year right there. Way to go Dave, you fuckin’ boner. I find this easy to believe because I had a similar encounter with Mr. Family Man David Ross last year.

I was at the Reds game and I was sitting front row on the Reds dugout (my favorite seats) just leaning over and taking in batting practice before the game, watching the different scenes in the dugout as the players prepared. Just before they cleared the BP off the field, here comes David Ross making a beeline towards me in the stands like he knows someone or knows me. All that I was standing by were a ton of little kids wanting autographs, and a younger looking girl, I swear to God she might have been 18 but I’m talking looked 16-17. There’s little Davey Ross, ignoring all the kids, ignoring everyone around him, ignoring when I said “good luck today Ross”. He walked over, like he was actually worth a fuck at what he does for a living, had a nice little conversation with this girl (in whispers of course), and she slips him a little note with a red heart drawn on it. Aw, how cute–our catcher is a fucking cradle robber. I asked her who she was and if she knew Ross, and she said to me ‘Yeah, I’m his girlfriend.’ Ha, well honey I bet a lot of gals think that, but if you like him, that’s just tremendous.

So there you have it, Dave Ross, our catcher, exposed as what he is, a true prick that is terrible at baseball that will someday need to find a real job. I hope your wife reads this and leaves you, dick. We’ll see how well you can hound-dog when you’re living in a van down by the river and not a .195 hitting catcher.

Editor George sees a classic Yankee showdown in the Bronx

Look at that pose of Jeter throwing out a runner last night. Classic Yankees, classic Jetes. Mussina pitched like he was 25 again, holding up a one run lead. A-Rod continued to lead the offensive pacing the way with 3 hits. Mariano Rivera looked like the dominating, playoff style Rivera, as he notched his 10th save with 3 K’s.
Although last night should have been the start of our summer tour, I was glad that George got to be with his two true loves, the Yankees and his girl Chels. He was treated to a truly classic beauty of a ballgame by Torre and the gang as the Yanks edged out a struggling A’s team 2-1.

(Box Score)

This has nothing to do with the Yankees, or baseball, but you simply have to see it. (Deadspin)

My goodness saturdays were made for baseball

(Play YOUtube Clip Below as you read)….it sets the mood

We got a busy day planned for the site today. A lot of baseball to cover and catch up on. We’ll do a few stories, tell you about the new weekly layout that will be committed to on the site, we’ll run through a great story about David Ross from the Phillies game the fiance was covering for us all.

We’ll run through the All Star Starters for the first half. We’ll throw it around. We’ll talk about some of the action tonight for the Reds and Indians. Mel Allen would love this shit. It’s going to be a post fest today.


Big Frank bags #500

Frank Thomas reached baseball immortality tonight hitting his 500th career homerun in the Minneapolis Metrodome, the stadium in which he hit his first career homerun. Thomas was given a standing ovation as he rounded the bases.

In an era where the longball has been defined by steroids, Frank Thomas is a big man whose name has never came into the picture. I remember Thomas as a kid (when he and I both were), and he was the same size and stature as he is now.

The thing about Thomas’ timeless and seemingly ageless hitting of homeruns is that he has withstood the test of time. With a frame that you would think traditionally would not age well, Thomas has kept on crankin. Another measure of Thomas’ timeline in the game? If you were playing the baseball association game, Thomas connects Carlton Fisk (1990 White Sox-age 42) with Jesse Litsch (2007 Blue Jays-age 21).

My personal association with Thomas? When I was a kid I loved him 2nd most next to Kenny Griffey Jr. I got one of my coveted Thomas upper deck baseball cards, wrote a nice little letter in what I’m sure looked like fist writing (still does), and shipped it off to the offices of the Chicago White Sox at a certain Comiskey Park in the Chi’. What did I get back? A photo-copied, black and white photo complete with photo copied autograph. I didn’t even get my card back. It’s a damn good thing that I only sent out cards I had doubles of, just in case. Thanks a lot Frank and company, dicksnatches. I forgive you now anyhow, and we’re really happy you reached the mark. Have fun in the Hall of Fame Frank!

Craig Biggio gets to 3000 hits

Not anymore

Tonight Craig Biggio became the 27th member of the 3000 hit club in Major League Baseball. Biggio’s joining of this exclusive benchmark fraternity in baseball ensures him a spot in Cooperstown at the Hall of Fame.

Personally I don’t know how I feel about this. He’s killed the Reds for a long time. I’ve heard stories about Biggio being quite the dick. He sure looks like a dick. He plays for the team I probably lament most in baseball.

I’ve also heard stories about him being a great guy. My fiance was his waitress several times at the country club that Biggio belongs to. She said he called her by her first name and was always polite. That’s probably because she’s hot as hell. He also went through that whole ‘let me wear a pin for the cancer kids‘ bit in which MLB ended up with egg on their face.

My personal relationship to Biggio goes like this: Me and editor George were in Spring Lake on night last memorial day and we stopped by a liquor store down the street from my in-laws house to load up on cough syrup. We’re walking up to the door of this closed store and there’s a chalk board outside hanging on the wall. “The March to 3000. 2936 2937 2938″ it read in chalk. We end up begging our way in and it turns out that the owner of the place who allowed us some fun that night is Biggio’s brother in law. I think I’d already had a few pops that night and I can’t remember much but I know I asked way too many questions. He was a nice enough guy. Ever since then, every time Biggio got a hit and I had the pleasure of seeing it, I thought of that booze store in New Jersey.

So Craig, congrats from Diamond Hoggers on your magical run and in chasing down a piece of baseball immortality. Not sure it’s going to last much longer but at least you outlived that butt-face Jeff Bagwell.

3000th hit box score

DH summer tour rescheduled!

Originally, this was supposed to be the weekend in which we were supposed to wreak havoc on America, spread our name, drink combinations of booze that aren’t meant to be mixed, dip until we could be known as “leatherlips II and III”, and generally cause all kinds of trouble around the countryside. That was, however, well it just was.

Editor George has had something come up, and the trip has been delayed, not postponed. We’re going to hammer out a schedule very soon that will rival, no, it will better our original tour. We’re going to rock it out, go twice as hard, have twice as many stories from our travels, and you will hear about it all on the Diamond Hoggers Summer Tour 2007. While I’m busy telling editor George he’s a bitch and that he ditched me so he could go to the Yankees game tomorrow night with his wife, I know this blog is important to him and any chance he has to raise hell in honor of our summer tour is as well. He wouldn’t miss our original plans without a good forged doctors excuse.

So be ready, be prepared, be informed: the 2007 Summer tour is still on, and it’s going to be bigger and badder than ever before. Take it to the bank.

In the meantime, email George at [email protected] or leave your thoughts in the comments as to what you believe the real reason to his cancellation was. Keep it clean! (Not really)

Note: Details on the reschedule to follow very soon. As soon as George answers his phone.

Throwing it around

It’s the end of the month, and it’s crunch time. We’re up to our neck in baseball stories, there is so much out there we can’t nearly cover it all with a staff of ‘3’. That’s why we incorporated this segment to our blog (other than to kiss ass with other bloggers and hope to increase our traffic). So without further ado, let’s get on with it. Here come the baseball links of the day.

  • If you only heard the score, last night’s Cardinals-Mets game sounded like a classic pitching duel between Reyes and Glavine. The game only went a few innings though. (Faith and Fear in Flushing)
  • More mascot races then you probably needed to see. (Home Run Derby)
  • Some more on the rain delay at Shea last night, from the Deadspin editor himself. We can relate. (Deadspin)
  • The Lead’ does some Yardwork, recapping some of last night’s baseball action. (The Big Lead)
  • The Seattle Mariners are playing some good baseball. Dice-K Matsuzaka was good last night but could not get the win. (Fenway Blogger)
  • Classic MN Twins: 91′ vs. 65′ game 5. Who came out on top? (Coffeyville Whirlwind)
  • A Yankee fan blogger wonders what to do? Buy or sell? I have a gut feeling that they’ll buy. (New York Yankees etc.)
  • Are some big cities harder to succeed in? (The Hardball Times)
  • Talking about those impressive Mariners. (U.S.S. Mariner)
  • Finally, something that will shut Woody Paige the fuck up. (Awful Anouncing)

Game write up: Company outing at the Jake

Last night’s company outing began with checking out the club at Jacobs Field. The lines were longer than I remembered (it was my second time in the Club seats at the Jake), but after picking my spots it was well worth the wait. I weaseled my way to the front of the prime rib line over, and over, and over again. There was no stopping me and getting to another plate of prime rib and Au-jois. I was an uncontrollable monster and it tasted better because it was free. Free and unlimited.

The game was muddled by a rain delay and a 9 run outpour of runs by the Athletics in the first two innings. Since I had to drive back to Columbus, I decided to leave the game early during this rain delay. Look at that monster cloud in the photo above. This, by the way, was the first ballgame in which I have ever left early except last summer in Philadelphia when I was forced into it by my father in law-to-be and the fiance.

Fausto Carmona got the start and he struggled badly. I was excited to get to see this youngster pitch, but as it happens to all young pitchers (see Bailey, Homer), Carmona didn’t even make it out of the second inning. Jason Stanford came in to relieve the Indians right-handed phenom and didn’t far a ton better.

Eric Chavez had three hits, which makes me wonder–does this fucker only hit against the teams I follow? My goodness he hasn’t hit a lick all season long but low and behold he can’t miss an outfield wall. Go fuggin’ figure.

The downtown cityscape of Cleveland really is a nice thing to look at from the club-seat view we had. I did notice however in addition to not really being a fan of nicorette gum, I am extremely near-sighted. It’s scary.
There was an advertisement for Farmer’s Insurance on the left field foul pole. I have never seen advertising on a foul pole before, but I suppose this day in age it’s fair game. That said, my peers pointed it out to me. I was the only one out of all of us middle 20’s aged men that couldn’t read it for my life. In fact the scoreboard was blurry from where I was sitting. Now I don’t know if it is all the video games I’ve played in my lifetime, all those late night Madden battles grinding it out too close to the TV, or the fact I spend a lot of time staring at a computer monitor, but I am coming to the sad realization that I have a problem with the short sightedness thing. When driving, especially at night–I can’t see shit. I can’t see the white/yellow lines on the road. I can’t read road signs. This is something very scary for me, as at one point I was tested in college and had 20/15 vision in both eyes. That’s better than 20/20 for you guys who didn’t know.

No Indians ballgame would be truly complete without some type of Grady Sizemore bukkake. Ya, you know, where he gets mentioned when he didn’t really need to be mentioned. Grady delivered, with an RBI single. It was his only hit of the night but I liked it.

We left before Blake and Hafner homered, but it would appear old Pronk is heating up.

All in all, a nice laid back, and sober night at the ballpark. The Tribe didn’t deliver with a victory, but a night at the ballpark is a good day in any life right?

Box Score

Cows come, and cows go; but the Donkey just keeps homerin'

As of last evening, when he hit an opposite field homerun off the man who was Joe Table, he’s done it 220 times in his career. At the beginning of the season, we had a “Dunn Career HR Tracker,” but since we’ve decided against it with the trade talk, and the slumping while it was up. Still it remains that Adam Dunn just keeps on doing what we love to see most: see a big time slugger, with the threat of homering on every pitch; go deep constantly.

He’s homered in 25 different ballparks against 160 different pitchers. Carlos Zambrano, Kevin Millwood, and Glendon Rusch (I’ve seen him homer off all 3 live) are the pitchers he enjoys feasting on the most; as he’s taken them deep 6 times each. He has 19 multi-HR ballgames. 119 homeruns have been to right field, with only 16 going to straight away opposite field. 46 of Dunn’s homeruns have been to dead center.

Through all the turnover on the Reds rosters, all the guffaw from the media and the fans. Through all the trade talk and men that haven fallen victim to stints on the DL, Dunner has played and played and played. At the age of 27 he’s still amassing homeruns and putting together a nice bit of statistics to hang his hat on. I can honestly say, that this whole thing would be more enjoyable for me if the Reds would do the right thing and lock Dunn up to a long term contract-build around him for the next several years through his prime, and stop this ridiculous fucking talk of trading him. I imagine that won’t happen, because things like that just don’t happen like that for good guys like me and Dunner.

Nevertheless, with every blast he’s provided me with a different memory. Most I remember where I was at when I heard it on the radio, saw it on television, saw it in the box score. I guess that’s how it is when you OKAY! It’s a man-crush follow a favorite player for a long time. It happens.

I’m hoping for another 10 years of the country slugger launching parabola’s that land in the moon deck at Great American Ballpark. I don’t know if I’ll be that lucky, but to this point, the 220 homers (201 which I have owned in fantasy baseball) over the past 5 years have been a remarkable thing to watch as a baseball, and slugger fan.

Read more: All the Adam Dunn homerun chit-chat you need. (Baseball Reference)

Wifey on the dispatch for us all

Tonight, the fiance is doing us here at Diamond Hoggers a little favor, she’s heading to Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia to provide some coverage, take some pictures, and talk about the experience of watching my favorite fucking terrible team the Cincinnati Reds play baseball. In other words, expect some pictures of tonight’s game and nothing more. With my commentary.

You know how girls are. She’ll get to the stadium, she’ll want ice cream. She’ll watch the Phillie Phanatic, who is a real dick. She’ll be distracted by that fucking bell that rings after the Phillies homer. She’ll chit-chat and gossip with her best friend Hope (do you know her George?). Everything but what she’s assigned to do; talk baseball; get some good pics that we can work with here, and you know–maybe even do a guest post.

“NO! Absolutely not! I am not blogging. Never, at any point, will I write something for your blog!”

And then I stop the asking because I know I’ve lost the battle. We all know how women are, but I am one of the lucky ones. This isn’t going to become a normal, suck my girl’s ass post, as I do that plenty of the time when I’m around her. It’s simply allowing for me to let the readership know that we’ve got some pics and stories (I hope) live from Philly, from the most amazing gal in the world, who allows me to be a full fledged baseball geek.

Last night would have been the night to have been there, with Ryan Howard (still an asshole) becoming the fastest player ever to reach 100 career homeruns. He did it with a 505 foot blast. Oh yeah, Adam Dunn homered to seal the win for the Reds, and he did it off our old friend Jose Mesa. Good lookin’ out Dunner.

Stay tuned! Maybe the wifey will even break down and become a blog-geek for a few minutes.