Pat 'the Bat'

By TheNaturalMevs on April 23, 2007

Baseball will always have its place for its Pat Burrell’s. I’m not going to beat around the bush here, and why should I? While ‘the Bat’ can’t match Ryan Howards statistics, he is surely the only one who can match and out-do Mr. Howard in being a fuckhead.

I’ve heard plenty of stories detailing ‘the Bat’s’ exploits. The women chasing, the drinking, the utter shock from the city that he is getting married. All that is fine. All I wanted was some acknowledgement. Something from Burrell to me, to the blog that said he knew we were there.

Every inning when he was coming off the field (like the one above), I wanted a wave from Patty, or just a look. Afterall, he had a monster chew in, and nothing says Diamond Hoggers like a monster chew in the side pocket of a guy like Pat ‘the Bat’.

“PAT THE BAT! PAT THE BAT! YOU DA’ MAN PAT!”

With no avail he ran off the field each of the 9 innings, and told me to go fuck myself basically.

Like the Dave Kingman’s and the Kenny Loftons who went before him, the world, and baseball will always have it’s place for guys like this. The biggest shit-heads on the face of the planet, with great god-given ability. After careful surveillance, he does not value his awesome nickname: ‘Pat the Bat’.