DH Steroid Witchhunt: Mark Prior

I just cant help being so fragile!

In our first feature of the Diamond Hoggers Steroid Witchunt, we reviewed Gary Matthews Jr. and found him to be guilty of steroid abuse. The proof was all but int he pudding. In this review, we look at a bit more of a puzzling subject, Cubs not so often Starting Pitcher, Mark Prior.

Prior came out of USC as possibly the most highly talented and touted pitching prospect of all time. I know I sure as fuck was sick of hearing about him. He won the Golden Spikes award at USC, labeling him as the top pitcher in all of collegiate baseball. Since then, Prior has been oft-injured and underachieving. His most notable footnote of his big league career has been that he was on the mound for the Steve Bartman (American Hero) incident that cost the Cubs a World Series berth.

As for our thoughts on whether Prior is injecting horse hormones into his ass or not, there is signs that point to both yes and no. When you take a look at the injury history of this 27 year old, you realize that ligaments and tendons shouldn’t break down at random quite as much as has happened to Prior. Afterall, no one has quite that bad of luck, even me, and I once lost a 4 team parlay in the 9th inning needing one more win in the bet to win $500 while I was in Vegas–but that’s not the point.

When you take a look at Prior, you realize a few things. He is not built like most pitchers in the Major Leagues. He has the legs of a Clydesdale horse, and an extremely thin and toned upper body. Although this is not all that uncommon, we think Priors legs are just a bit too big. Pitchers are not stupid individuals. They know that by building the upper body up too much, they’ll cause tightness in ligaments and muscles that will not allow them the proper range of motion to be a successful big league hurler. This is not evidence that supports Prior’s use of steroids either, we’re just saying that if his legs are that big naturally, we’d like to see his gene pool and reccomend whether he is a genetic freak; or has just kicked it in the ass when it comes to doing those leg presses since age 10.

Until Prior can prove to us that he can stay healthy (maybe he should take tips from Barry Bonds), and post back-to-back seasons of making every start or close, his status will remain in doubt with these critics.

Steroid User Rating/Probability: 68.8% Roider
Status: Guilty