Diamondhoggers is the Gentleman’s Game Palindrome

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We mentioned last week that it seemed like Diamondhoggers (us) finished first or last in every Gentleman’s game lately. Since last week was a poor 5th place finish in the contest, this week was due to be a jackpot.

That was only half true, starting on April 25th though, this is what Diamondhoggers’ result has been: Fifth, First, Fifth, Fifth, Fifth, First, Fourth, First, Fifth, and now First. That’s almost remarkable. It’s so weird. I could not finish second or third if my life depended on it.

Friday was a strange night in baseball. Of course we had the Coors slate in play which always serves to fuck things up a fair amount and lose all the money for everyone. It started slow but business picked up there as it always does and rewarded the buttplugs who just stacked that game.

I want to give strong mention to Phil Gosselin for being the worst ever. He was ‘the perfect punt’, hitting clean up at Coors. Three gentleman including me took this bait hook, line and sinker. Of course, in a game where 19 runs were put on the board, Phil Gosselin found a way to zero out. He qualifies as one of the biggest turds in Gentleman’s game history, without a doubt.

No real shakeup in the yearly standings, with things staying close to the same as they have been as we head towards the All Star Break.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 50 points
t3bird04 – 44 points
Diamondhoggers – 36 points
Jsquad34 – 35 points
Swindaman3 – 29 points

Here is a copy of the winning lineup from Diamondhoggers. The Gents Game MVP was a luckbox play of Shin-soo Choo, who homered off David Price and scored 19 points. Masahiro Tanaka managed not to get blown up on a night when basically no one was safe.

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We’re skipping the fantasy players we would like to seize with a guillotine chokehold this week because we’re just too busy to make the post longer. That means double duty for next week’s column.

Please continue to follow the Gentleman’s Game Cup Series this summer presented by Julie’s Movers and Java Central Coffee Shop of Westerville.

The Astros are bludgeoning teams to death

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The Houston Astros were on FOX Saturday baseball last evening taking on the World Champs. It’s been high time to extract a little revenge.

I didn’t get to see the game because I was at a wedding. The Astros hung nine runs on the Royals in the first inning on Friday evening and won 13-4. Once you click through the jump, you’ll see that George Springer had a triple AND a grand slam in the first inning alone. Then on Saturday with much of the nation watching, they put seven on the board in the second inning and won 13-5.

Continue reading The Astros are bludgeoning teams to death

Your Saturday Baseball Post

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It’s a summer Saturday, maybe the nicest day of the summer. I move into my first real house with my wife and daughter in two days, so I’m busy as Hell. It’s funny, when you buy a house you think you’re set. Then you have about 1,000 other odd items you need to buy for it.

But you have to love a Saturday. We have a wedding to go to tonight, so I’ll miss most of the good action. Every team is in play, and the standings are starting to tilt so that we have some semblance of what’s really going on in this game. This is a time of year when people who don’t really love baseball seem to get bored with it. For me, this is the time of year I appreciate it most and start to fear it’s end. It’s the only game in town right now, and there’ something great about that.

Your 80’s song of the week that should be blared on a ballpark loudspeaker near you is Huey Lewis and the News. A classic.

Thank you for your continued support of Diamond Hoggers. Enjoy your Saturday.

Michael Taylor has the worst game in baseball history

There was a time I thought Michael A. Taylor was such a toolsy player. He reminded me of a Reggie Sanders type player. Michael Taylor is still toolsy. Sometimes, “toolsy” guys go 0 for 5 with a platinum sombrero, and then this happens:

There are a lot of elements in play here. Again, second straight night that the Bums have a wild walk-off win in the magic of Dodger Stadium. What a magical, mystical place in that far off land.

Corey Seager homered earlier in the game. And of course, Yasiel Puig is back kicking out stable car windows like the Puig of old; the crazy sumbitch. He’s just the type of player who ends a game with a Little League home run of sorts.

Dodgers win 4-3. These really are the types of things that happen to Dusty Baker teams over and over again.

Tommy Lasorda knew Spanish really well!

This is an old clip from a series called ‘Beisbol ’86’. You can find these laying around the internet in the deep dark corners.

The only reason(s) this video made my blog:

  1. I am so damn bored right now.
  2. It starts off (and ends with) an Eddie Money tune.
  3. I am a sucker for Tommy Lasorda shit. The old grouch gets me every time.
  4. I am a sucker for 80’s baseball stuff.

So enjoy yourself. Tommy Lasorda is good at the Spanish. Who knew?

Is Noah Syndergaard headed for Tommy John Surgery?

Today could be the last time we see Noah Syndergaard in uniform for 18 months or so.
Today could be the last time we see Noah Syndergaard in uniform for 18 months or so.

It was weird, today at work I had this premonition that I needed to go watch Noah Syndergaard’s start. I began my day pretty early today so I gave myself a free pass and knocked off at about 2:00 so I could come home and see a bit of this flamethrower.

I don’t really like pitchers. I can count on two hands over the last 15 years the guys who I liked enough to actually make sure I’m around a television to see them pitch. Hitters, sure. But a pitcher has to bring something special.

Thor was beginning to give me that feeling of Pedro in 1999 or 2000 almost. I liked him that much. But it was weird that I was sitting at my desk when I had this urge to go see him throw.

So I did it. And sure enough, Syndergaard had the elbow issue today during his start and he’s not going to see a doctor. With the way things go with pitchers; and moreover, pitchers that I like, Syndergaard is going to follow this up with a visit to Dr. James Andrews and he’ll have Tommy John Surgery. We won’t see him for like 18 months.

This absolutely sucks. I think I’m going to be sick. I am sick. I can’t move.

Throwing it Around

It’s a lazy midweek Wednesday afternoon. I’ve had a good week and I’m feeling a little under the weather so I decided to knock off early to watch Syndergaard. Here are the baseball offerings on the web today:

-Michael Saunders has been the Blue Jays’ best hitter. [Fangraphs]
-Update yourself on the National League all-star vote [Hardball Talk]
-The Yankees had to scrap a Joe DiMaggio bobblehead giveaway due to a lawyer’s demands. [CBS Sports]
-The Mets are thinking about adding Jose Reyes. [Amazin’ Avenue]
-The Mets beat the Royals in a World Series re-match, even with Bartolo Colon leaving the game in the first inning. [Faith and Fear in Flushing]
-For Gods sake, Erik Kratz had to throw last night for the Pirates. [Deadspin]
-Alex Bregman update. [Houston Chronicle]
-Some good detail on Jay Bruce’s approach. [Red Reporter]

Jay Bruce destroys Colby Lewis, continues tear

Man, who is this guy?

This guy who looks like the 23-year old kid again with power to all fields, with 16 homers and 55 RBI. This .282 average, .921 OPS bat?

Reds win 8-2 in Arlington in a game that Colby Lewis was supposed to handle their lineup easily, in a game where the Rangers and people around baseball were chalking this up to be a ‘gimme’.

I can’t believe now that Bruce is in the midst of a career year and probably the best offensive player on the roster; that the Reds are going to just move him. Say it ain’t so!

Bryce Harper hits home run 15 at Dodger Stadium

Here’s Dodger Stadium in all it’s glory. This is a series I really wanted to try to be at for my first trip to LA; but my wife shot that down because we move into a new home next week and we’re having our second child in about two months. Timing just isn’t good. Oh well.

So, I watched a lot of this one on television. No Vin Scully for the viewers, Scully wasn’t feeling well so Charlie Steiner and Orel Hersheiser took the reigns for a game.

In the first inning, Bryce Harper hits a rapier laser the other way to left field off Scott Kazmir. This would give the Nationals a 1-0 lead which eventually grew to 2-0. I was actually tired and went to bed.

But when you go to sleep on Dodger Stadium, you chance missing the magic.

Yasmany Grandal who is still probably hitting .181 hit a three-run home run in the bottom of the 8th inning off Tanner Roark, and that would be the last say the Nationals would have in it. Dodgers win 3-2 in a game in which Bryce Harper hits his 15th home run of the 2016 season and the 112th of his career.

The Houston Astros are back to .500 on the strength of Carlos Correa’s Alligator blood

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I sat in my mom’s 90 degree house last night and watched the entirety of this one – the Astros have been red hot – and they’ve pulled back to .500 for the first time since they were at 1-1 the first two games of the season. The story obviously is Carlos Correa. He’s getting his season back on track and he had another big night last night.

Correa hit his 11th home run of the season, an impressive bomb; off a decent Hector Santiago to make it 2-1.

By the time Huston Street had loaded the bases in the bottom of the ninth for Correa again, you knew they were going to get theirs. Correa had a nice at-bat to battle the count full and then used right field as he loves to do. It was down for a two-run game winning single that won Houston the game 3-2.

Correa drove in all three Astros runs. He’s up to .263 on the season with 11 homers and 39 RBI. Houston is three games out of the AL Wildcard with a 36-36 even record.

Tiny Tim Anderson hits his first Big League Home Run at Fenway Park

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[White Sox 3, Red Sox 1]

I’ve taken a little interest in Tim Anderson, shortstop for the Chicago White Sox. I snagged Anderson off the waiver wire in my keeper fantasy league; it’s been a rough year. I’m looking for him to round out my last keeper spot for next season (middle-infield thins out quickly in that league).

Last night, Tim Anderson was probably a little fired up to be playing at Fenway Park and leading off. First batter of the game, first big league bomb:

Anderson had two hits, including this one and is at .292 to start his career.

In other news, Chris Sale is still Chris Sale. He improves to 12-2 while striking out nine over seven innings of work. He silenced the powerful BoSox Bats.

Carlos Correa knocks the bejesus out of one; Hits Train Tracks at Minute Maid

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Look out baseball world. Carlos Correa is wearing his pants low now, and he’s starting to pull the baseball again. He means business. You love Correa’s ability to use the entire field of course, but last season he was at his best when he was turning on balls and being aggressive early in the count with pitches down the middle.

He’s starting to do that this year. In the Astros 10-7 win over the Angels at Minute Maid Park tonight he doubled to the gap (I haven’t seen him hit a ball to this spot of a park this season until tonight) and then homered off the train tracks at the park. See for yourself.

This was Correa’s 10th home run of the season, and let us hope that he has about 15 more left in him. When he gets hot, it’s going to be with a fury.

The Astros are four games out in the Wildcard race in the American League and can still make a go of things if they play steady baseball from now until October.

Michael Saunders joins the Gentleman’s Game Hall of Fame Inner Circle

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Up until a few weeks ago, the Gentleman’s Game Hall of Fame was empty. Then Corey Seager homered three times and scored 42 points, and became the first honorary inductee.

It’s a weird thing, because we just can’t allow Franklin Gutierrez into our Hall. It doesn’t feel right. He scored 43 points and was a huge reason t3bird04 pulled past DStars45 later on in the night last Friday.

But Michael Saunders scored 52 friggin’ points! He homered three times and drove in eight. Of course, I was on the receiving end of it in my lone head to head league, too. And any league I have a shot in of course the guy I’m jockeying for position with also had Michael Saunders! Saunders will show up in my nightmares forever, driving in eight with that ‘3 3 8’ line in the box score. Only one gent had the medium-priced Saunders and that was the defending champ DStars45. Saunders owes him because if he was not in play in this Gentleman’s game, no Hall of Fame for Saunders of course.

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Here are the weekly standings, with t3bird and Gutierrez pulling down five points. DStars45 is starting to stretch out a nice lead; and if JSquad34 doesn’t stop leap frogging me and then going underneath me! I am tired of needing to adjust these damn standings. Then again, maybe I should stop either finishing first or last every week.

Yearly Standings:
DStars45 – 47 points
t3bird04 – 40 points
Jsquad34 – 33 points
Diamondhoggers – 31 points
Swindaman3 – 28 points

It’s now time for the Fantasy Players to Bludgeon. First we’ll do the weekly winners, followed by our yearly turdballs.

  • Maikel Franco (this son of a bitch NEVER does anything in DFS for me, he’s dead to me.)
  • Nelson Cruz (why wouldn’t maximum-priced Cruz do nothing against Eduardo Rodriguez while his tag team partner Gutierrez goes off for 43)
  • Nick Hundley
  • Jean Segura
  • Tommy Joseph
  • Jon Gray
  • Lance McCullers (I dare you to just have a dominant outing)
  • Evan Gattis
  • Ian Desmond
  • Mike Trout (so useless on Friday’s please look it up beginning 2015 he never does anything on a Friday evening).
  • Michael Conforto
  • Shin-soo Choo
  • Neil Walker
  • Nolan Arenado
  • Matt Harvey

And now, for the yearly guys who are sucking up the joint:

  • Byung Ho Park (the one day I miss getting this dreadful lurch into my lineup because I am like; being a dad, he homers. Otherwise he’s not getting a hit. I hate you Park! You hear me?)
  • Chris Davis (please do adderall again or something! SPEED it up!)
  • Yan Gomes
  • Yasmany Grandal
  • Russell Martin
  • All catchers really
  • Bryce Harper
  • Giancarlo Stanton (slowly climbing out of it)
  • Justin Upton (slooooowly climbing out of it)
  • Trevor Rosenthal
  • Michael Brantley
  • JAMES SHIELDS
  • Joey Votto

I know I’m missing some folks but close enough for the girls I go with.

Now here’s a copy of the winning lineup that t3bird04 strung together. Added bonus points for fielding this lineup from his brother’s wedding, and congrats to t3bird brother on embarking on the great journey of marriage. Hopefully you bring your wife each Friday night like your brother, a true gentleman and family man of DFS should you ever venture into a Gentleman’s Game Cocktail party.

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SO…. what’s going to happen next week in the Gentleman’s Game presented by The Mean Bean of Powell Coffee Shop and Gold Bond Powder?

We are quickly approaching the ‘Gentleman’s Game Live Final’ where it is possible all five gents are gathered in one family room to lose all their money in shocking fashion. Our night will be over by 7:20 PM and we will be left to make smores and watching JSquad34 drink his scotch and Swindaman3 make out with a cigar. We might get the beer bong out and see if we can down eight liters of Mountain Dew. We may have some special videos for you or some toilet picks prior to the festivities. The point is, if you’re a big fan of the Gentleman’s Game, you’ve got some big moments coming your way as the drama continues to build into a magnificent crescendo.

It’s not all doom and gloom in the world of DFS! Draftkings and FanDuel will soon merge to become a global superpower and be in cahoots with all the shady politicians in the world. You will be robbed of your referrals and they will roll out fancy incentives that are designed to stick it to the little guy. That said, I am going to come in around 2,000 of 115,000 tonight in a contest! This astonishing event which is as good as a small ant like me could ever do will yield me $10! With the winnings I will buy some Hostess cupcakes and a tin of chew, or maybe some new shoelaces. Definitely shoelaces.

Stay tuned for the next twists and turns in the saga of the Gentleman’s Game. It is like Days of our Lives playing out in DFS form each week, where one gentleman’s life will change forever at season’s end.

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